Day 9 - Being an expat

---

The world changes when you’ve got a man around. Our third flatmate, Luke, began work at ICDDR,B in the clinical division working on a cholera surveillance project. So yesterday I began to commute with someone else, which was a welcome relief after a disastrous trip home on Tuesday. I’ll drop my feminism a bit and admit that I never feel vulnerable when I am with a man here. Even when we have an adventure like figuring out the ridiculous bus system. But on Tuesday, I picked up a rickshaw after work whose driver told me he could take me to Gulshan. Great, I thought, and hopped on. He took me through alleys and small streets, which in heavy traffic is the way rickshaws avoid the congested main roads. These alleys and small streets are still crowded with people, shops, and animals but no cars, buses, or CNGs. Anyway, I quickly learned about the heavy restrictions put on rickshaws that don’t allow them on certain main roads during peak traffic hours. And so I was stuck quite a ways from home with really no means to get home besides walking or heading back to Mohakhali, where ICDDRB is, and trying to figure out how to take a bus. So I walked, which sometimes is nice to see all the shops and people, and other times it’s just painfully hot and humid. The honking of vehicles is incessant and the pollution makes your eyes and throat burn after awhile. Everyone just blatantly stares at you like you’re an enigma. Often little half-naked children run up to you saying, “Madam! Madam!” gesturing for money and food for their mouths. We’ve decided that the best way to handle it is to buy them food if able but if not, ask them to leave. You can claim that it’s because you don’t know what your money will be used for or that you don’t want to whip out your money in a crowded street of poverty-stricken people, but in the end I wonder if it ends up being more of one’s own convenience. I find, like other women, that you end up walking fast and wearing a scowl so no one will mess with you. It’s actually quite effective but can’t be good for maintaining a youthful face.
It took me about an hour to get home because I also went to my bank to get some money out of the ATM. I turned on my ceiling fan and collapsed in my sweaty salwar kameez on my bed. Urban life can be intense. That evening, though, commenced my introduction to the expat social scene. (An expatriate is someone who is living outside her own country). There are numerous clubs here, each belonging to a different nationality. There is the International Club, the American Club, the Dutch Club, the Canadian Club, the Nordic Club, and the British Club, etc. Though there probably aren’t too many more than that. Because Ali, my flatmate, is British, she belongs to the British Club (known as Bagha) where she takes tennis lessons everyday and often meets friends in the evening for dessert and a drink. For such a big city, there is a relatively small expat community. It seems lots of expats belong to a club mostly to use their facilities, whether is be tennis courts, squash courts, pools, exercise rooms, etc. which are otherwise rather non-existent in Bangladesh. The clubs also throw parties, host dinners, have playgrounds, book clubs, childcare, etc. Some are nicer than others and some are more exclusive than others. For instance the American Club is the biggest, nicest, and most expensive. (For unknown reasons, clubs often operate in their home currencies, which you buy when you arrive with your Bangladeshi taka. So I buy a coupon book of British pounds using taka in order to buy my 1.10 pound ice cream. It makes little sense.) Generally, if you are a member of one club, you can go into any club. The American Club, though, has banned all British Club members for small-town political reasons that are gossiped about. In return, the International Club has banned the Americans. The whole scene is entertaining.
I’ve only been to the British club thus far, but have met an American, a Finnish person, an Australian, a Dutchman, a Norwegian, etc. Basically westerners that seek the company of people with similar backgrounds and the opportunity for wear western clothes, eat western food, and have an alcoholic drink or coffee, since it’s generally impossible to do any of that elsewhere in Dhaka. (You can probably find some western food around in restaurants. In fact, I passed a restaurant called “Western Fast Food”—very to the point.) Most people I meet work for non-governmental organizations (NGOs), the United Nations, and national aid programs (like USAID). Diplomats also go to the clubs as do the Marines that guard the American embassy. I’m told if I play my cards right, I’ll get to go to the Marine Ball. Oh la la…Anyway, one always resists the urge to join the expat scene and rather try to really immerse oneself in Bangladeshi life. The thing is, there are not really other recreation places and there are not really many other places for foreigners to go at night and hang out in a safe environment. You can try your hardest here to become a part of this society but in the end, you are a westerner and that cannot change. You will never be treated the same, for better or worse. And so you end up grouping together to maintain some of your own culture and most importantly to meet people that are doing amazing things here and have gone through a similar transition experience as yourself. So though I don’t plan on joining the American club, I have gained an understanding of why this system exists and the important role it seems to play in keeping people that are so far from home from feeling too alone in the middle of a giant foreign city.
I will take pictures! I keep forgetting my camera at home. Tomorrow our weekend begins (the weekend is Friday and Saturday) so some friends and I are going to Old Dhaka, which I’ve never been to. We’re going to see this famous old Armenian church and visit a nearby Catholic orphanage where the nuns apparently appreciate visitors coming and playing with the babies and children. After that is a Casino Royale black-tie party at the Bagha. Maybe get to mingle with some diplomats in James Bond attire. Should be an all-around interesting day. As always.

---