The camaraderie of safari guides and the equator

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Today we left Lake Bunyoni for the 440 km trip back to Kampala including a stop at the equator. It was sad to leave all the lovely people of Lake Bunyoni View, but we did leave them a good tip. At a nearby petrol station, Didan said his farewells too and we thanked him a lot for the awesome time we had.

And so started our long journey, through towns, past farms with women and children toiling in the fields. By quarries where mostly women were bent over doing what appeared to be back-breaking work. We left our last dirt road and returned to tarmac, where they have far fewer potholes than the UK.

Zedius calls it an African massage when we drive over the bumpy dirt roads, but in all honesty, I’ve not found them that bad compared to some places I’ve visited. At home I regularly suffer with back problems and need to do daily exercises to minimise the pain, but strangely it’s not been a problem here, maybe the African massage really works?!

We carried on along the fairly straight tarmac road, past cattle with extremely long horns, cranes, maribou storks and goats. Now I think we were meant to be going into some Safari park along the way for a quick look at some zebras and other animals. Zedius overshot the entrance and went to do a three point turn, or I think that is what was happening. He reversed down a 40° ditch and the jeep stalled.

Despite his best efforts, he could not get it started. So with Glyn, he tried to push it out; I was at the wheel. Yes a woman driver in Uganda! However, after I put it in neutral, it rolled backwards and I quickly braked as the jeep was at a worrying sideways angle. This was not working.

As always in Uganda, there are people milling about; women in a field and small children stopped to watch. A few men appeared to give their opinion, but no help. Luckily, other safari vans stopped. Zedius says that no safari driver would leave his colleagues on the road. So we ended up with quite a few, and one guy in particular took charge. No one wanted to push the jeep forward as there was a risk it would tip completely on its side.

Someone produced a rope that was doubled up numerous times and attached to another van that tried to pull Zedius out, one of the white clients got out for a smoke and spoke a language at me that I didn’t recognise and giving poor Zedius instruction. I don’t think that helped. Zedius later said he had no idea what the man was saying.

Another jeep turfed our its numerous (perhaps) Polish clients and produced a metal rope, so that now two jeeps were attached to ours. Oncoming traffic had to be stopped. The road was lined with tourists and onlookers as the two jeeps reversed, eventually pulling our jeep out of the deep ditch. I don’t know what nationality some of the other whiteys were, but I think they enjoyed the drama, taking phone pics. One of them joked that they charged $200 for breakdown assistance!

Now was the challenge to get the engine started. The road was cleared and some thoughtless passing drivers decided that rather than slowing down when seeing so many people and vehicles on the road, that they would accelerate and press their car horns for a lengthy time, in the hope of clearing the way without killing anyone.

One of the jeeps reversed into our jeep, spare tyres to spare tyres so Zedius could do a bump start, but it wasn’t working and he was getting worryingly very close to the next parked jeep. So the man who’d taken charge took over the wheel and soon the engine was running, with black smoke pumping out of the exhaust. We all cheered. The others wished us well and we thanked them for their help. Mr Took-Charge waved us hurriedly into the vehicle and we set off. Everything was in chaos at the back as our belongings had been flung around quite extensively.

We decided to avoid the park as we couldn’t face any more problems just yet. I’m a little disappointed but poor Zedius was stressed and going slowly over rough terrain probably wasn’t the best idea. Also, I have already seen the animals that were in there and I don’t think they could have topped any other experiences I’ve had this holiday. My main issue was that I wanted a wee, how to tell Zedius I wanted to stop? He was fine about it and found me a large rock as we were a long distance from a loo (note: a few days ago we had to explain the word ‘loo’, it’s not used here).

He says he’s had bigger dramas than this, where he’s had to leave clients behind to go get another vehicle. Maybe it’s just part of the job here and that’s just the general state of mechanics in this country.

Along the way, there were various people selling dried fish as we were near Lake Victoria. There were also vegetable vendors with sweet potatoes and tomatoes stacked in the same way you see stacked stones when you go walking in the countryside, I don’t know why people do that. Anyway, Glyn and I invented a new genre of photography: shooting stacked vegetables from a moving vehicle.

After some time we got to the Equator, and guess what? It was hot. And the jeep broke down.

The roadside had a circular monument each side for tourists to pose by, a number of cafes and souvenir shops. We had lunch first, I had chips made from matoke, a type of savoury banana and guacamole. Some of the safari jeeps that had helped us earlier also turned up to eat at the same place, the drivers helped Zedius bump start the jeep and then he left it running.

I overheard a tourist complaining it was too hot. At the Equator. You don’t say! Places here don’t have aircon or fans to be sure, but being mid September, it’s not that bad, However, there was a cat! She let me fuss her but ran off before I could get a photo.

I bought myself a bracelet, earrings and fridge magnets before going to the actual spot of the equator. There I had to wait a ridiculous amount of time whilst a small group of tourists had to pose in every way imaginable around the monument. Sunglasses on, sunglasses off, sleeves rolled up, sleeves rolled down, etc etc. It was exhausting watching them. Then Zedius pointed out that there was another one across the road we could use.

We were getting a lot closer to Kampala, the capital city and farmland gave way to small dwellings and shops until it was a bustling, hot town with heavy traffic. Zedius told us to wind up our windows as our phones were out and he was worried someone would reach in and steal one.

Eventually we got on a highway that took us to the city centre, but like every town, the roads were still lined with young lads hanging out on their motorcycles. There were markets, traffic cops (both female and male), large buildings, a university and a museum. And yet there still was an occasional goat grazing by the road.

On one particularly busy three lane road, we broke down, in the middle lane. It was rush hour traffic, baking hot and we were going slightly uphill. Zedius put on his hazard lights and tried to roll backwards to bump start, to no avail. If this happened in the UK, other vehicles would be beeping like crazy, but her most people just went around us and on their way. We offered to get out and push, but Zedius said no and in all honesty I am glad as the traffic was whooshing by us.

Zedius called over a pedestrian and he and a couple of others pushed until it started. I felt bad not helping until I realised that Zedius was paying them.

We arrived at Forest Cottages which is actually a very smart hotel where business conferences are held. I saw signs for the latest Ministry of Energy conference that must have happened today. Zedius pulled in through the guarded gates into the small car park and broke down right in the middle. Other cars could just about get around it. Zedius decided he was leaving the jeep right there (sod it) and we got out, all dusty and dirty after many days safari and checked in at the rather smart reception.

A porter carried both our rucksacks up to our room and Glyn got irate with me because I found a cat with four tiny kittens! My first Ugandan kittens! Obviously they needed a fuss and photos taken.

Our room is small, but a better shower than anywhere else we’ve been this holiday. And there’s an electric fan and fridge! This place has two restaurants and a pool, but I miss the sounds of the jungle and quiet. Here it’s traffic sounds. Glyn reckons he’s seen a baboon on the roof, really? In the city? I’ll believe it when I see it.

Zedius has gone home to his family who he finally gets to see for a few days before his next clients arrive. But we have one more day with him tomorrow, it will be weird not having him around.

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