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Published: October 15th 2007
Ah, Zan...Zi…Bar… a magical, almost poetic name, that conjures up a tantalizing sense of mystery, of hidden pasts, of intoxicating aromatic spices… of a vibrant and exotic culture, set in an island nestling in the warm Indian Ocean close to the Tanzanian coastline (40km). Where, according to my guide book (yes, I’ve learnt my lesson) ‘cooling monsoon breezes slant in off a deceptively gentle sea, across powder white coral, palm-fringed beaches and where a weary traveller can laze ‘lulled by soporific surf and the soft rustle of the palms’. Dip his toes in the ‘sparking turquoise waters, punctuated only by the billowing triangular white sails of passing dhows’ and gaze in wonder as the plethora of ‘iridescent fish flit amongst the brightly coloured coral gardens’.
And… if that hasn’t got you already checking the expiry date on your passport and googling Expedia, Marco Polo, 12th Century Explorer extraordinaire, described the islands womenfolk as “very devils”, with “breasts … four times bigger than those of any other women”. Although by all accounts his imagination was as well developed as the women he described and he didn’t get within a thousand miles of the place. Anyway, where better for this ‘weary
Paje
Yes, its a real place!traveller’ to sneak of for some much need ‘R&R’, not to mention running water and a real loo.
Now some of you may be wondering what has Neil swanning off on a tropical beach jolly got to do with the serious subject of documenting a volunteer’s life, ‘capacity building’ in Africa. Well, as many of those on the island I bored to tears with my ‘One time… in Band-camp Rwanda’ stories will tell you, being only my second African country, Zanzibar (Tanzania) presents an excellent opportunity for ‘development’ comparisons or rather, a little bit of benchmarking, as they say.
From reading the guide book and Precision Air’s (a scarily inaccurate name) in-flight magazine, you would be easily forgiven for thinking you were about to enter a cross between Love Island and the Garden of Eden. Sadly after exiting the airport and kissing goodbye to $50 for their visa! It doesn’t take you too long to notice that the most common forna on this island is what South African’s affectionately call their ‘township flower’ or to use it’s Latin name
‘the blue plastic bag’. They.. are… everywhere… and no-one takes a blind bit of notice and certainly
Captain Mosquito
and his 'able' if a little hungover 'crew' wouldn’t dream of picking one up. Which is the second immediate difference you notice - Rwandans are always working, cleaning, walking, greeting, generally doing something. In fact on the last Saturday of every month they have a day upon which it’s compulsory to clean the neighbourhood, ‘Umuganda’ or ‘General Cleaning’ it’s called. Get caught bunking off or heaven forbid working for yourself on this day and they’ll throw you’re selfish, lazy arse in jail - no kidding, you’ll get one hefty fine too. Needless to say, combined with their Fatwa on litter, the country is spotless. Zanzibar’s national pastime however, appears to be sitting around and doing sod all, although to be fair, it does appear to be a sport dominated by their men and it was Ramadan.
The men taking a break from lazing around and doing nothing can easily be divided into two main categories; ‘those trying to sell you something’ and ‘those trying a lot harder to sell you something’. Of the latter group most have, for some reason chosen to flog an African compilation CD, Tanzania’s equivalent to Now 45. A difficult sell bearing in mind you’ll not get to sample the music or
hear it playing anywhere on the island during your stay.
In fact in the 10 days I spent on the island local women appeared to be a pretty scarce commodity all together. One positive byproduct from its 1994 troubles is Rwanda’s attitude and policies around gender based equality. Rwandan woman are often the most respected figure both in the family unit and within their local communities and from what I’ve seen also appear to work a great deal harder than their male counterparts. The country as a whole takes great pride in the fact that it has more women in parliament than any other country in the world, which would probably explain why it’s now probably the safest, cleanest and friendliest African country on the continent.
Unlike Rwanda (Catholic/ Protestant), Zanzibar is a mainly Muslim island, which sadly is the most likely and controversial reason for a lot of it’s women’s absence from much of their society. Although after speaking with a couple of local Tanzanian barmen, it appears there’s a widely held belief across all of Africa that Rwandan ladies are the second best looking on the continent, just behind the Ethiopians and that, sadly
3am Masai Mania
eek ..a picture of me!! for them, Tanzanian women figure only just above the relegation zone. Which is possibly the real reason for their low profile and maybe our friend Marco wasn’t so ill informed after all?
There is one far more important league table where Tanzania does currently sit above Rwanda, that of Life Expectancy (Rwanda 43 years, Tanzania 48 years). Even allowing for some very positive trends in Rwanda and the good work of the current administration, many of both countries people still live in a world without grandparents, where parents are nearly always absent from their children’s weddings and ‘one’ or ‘no parent’ families are the most common family dynamic.
Poverty, which still blights more than half the globe, will always be the biggest contributing factor to this sad and very true statistic. Fortunately for Zanzibar nature has given them a big helping hand, it’s tropical island location means a year round plentiful supply of both tourists ($150M per annum or 3x Rwanda, with only 10% of their population) and of course sea life. But Rwanda is working very hard to improve its tourist trade and so deserves to be successful, but it’s still heavily burdened by a
His Excellency Paul Kagame
Obviously the guy on the right! poor and largely inaccurate global image, tarnished by its war and genocide, now over 13 years ago. Landlocked countries like Rwanda, without large supplies of natural resources, will always have to work harder to achieve economic prosperity and sadly when it comes to successfully running a country, you don’t get to choose your neighbours. Just ask Mr Bush or an Ethiopian!
Incidentally if a long life is your ambition, then you’ll need to get yourself over to Andorra, between France and Spain, currently topping the charts with 83.5 years! But if you think a trip through the mountains looks a bit risky, Guernsey might be a better option, coming a close second with 80.4 years.
Sadly here in Africa we’re still cornering the market on early deaths, now home to 38 out of 40 the world’s worst countries. Winner of the Nobel Prize for ‘Completely f’ing up a perfectly good country’, Zimbabwe’s President Mugabe and HM ‘mad’ King Mswati III of Swaziland are both fighting hard for the crown, both registering an unbelievable, but probably inflated, score of around 36 years.
The girl crazy King is certainly living the dream, this guy makes P Diddy look like
HM King Sobhuza II of Swaziland
I thought he'd look more tired! nerdy Ned Flanders, on a good day. In a country ravaged by Aids, one he of course runs, he’s just added number 13 to his collection of wives, , a 17 year old girl thus breaking his own ‘over 18’s only’ law, for which he duly paid the fine of one cow to her parents. I have it on good authority that he selects new candidates each year from thousands of naked applicants that line his palace halls on official ‘state’ days. On a recent visit to Rwanda he even tried to persuade President Paul Kagame to let him take home two of the tribal dancers that greeted him on the airport tarmac. Just in case you were wondering, tall Paul (6”6’!) declined his request and gave him a selection of hand woven baskets instead. None of this will come as any surprise to Swaziland’s people, as his father King Sobhuza II had 70 wives, 210 children and at his death over 1000 grandchildren.
If you’re having a bad day, Google him, it’ll cheer you right up.
Actually, I’ve just had a thought, I hired a new ‘wise old’ headmaster for the school this morning, a cross between
Always pleased to see me!
Someone sponsor our Pre-School..PLEEEASE! Uncle Remus and Nelson Mandela… about 70, but spritely i.e. rides a bike (remember all the hills) and reads without glasses. Anyway, he invited me round his house this morning, can you believe to show me his cows and wait for it… matoke plot AND he introduced me to his mum. I cannot believe it never registered at the time… the woman has be at least 90! As we know that would be impressive in Andorra, in Rwanda it’s amazing.
Oh and if you were worried that his imminent arrival means the end of Joseph, our current head and Rwanda’s number one Dolly Parton fan, fear not. I’ve managed to get him enrolled on a degree course in Education for next year. No easy feat, I can tell you, even in Rwanda one A-level doesn’t buy you much when your Uni shopping. But one thing I am, if nothing else, is a fast learner and after offering the admissions officer at Kigali University 12 months tuition fees, in cash, his name was straight on the team sheet!
One thing very much on Rwanda’s side, despite the hardship and unlike the UK, is that it’s a country full
of very warm, friendly and upbeat people, always pleased to see you. As soon as kids can walk, sometimes before, they leave the house at the crack of dawn and play ‘outside’ happily till well after dark, not a toy in sight. I certainly didn’t get that impression from the Zanzibar locals, in fact in sharp contrast to the sheer explosive joy you get when spotted by Rwanda child their Tanzanian counterpart offer out a look of total distain, a bit like the one those two American ramblers receive when they walk into that ‘moors’ pub in ‘An American Werewolf in London’.
Although having now been in town over 4 months, it’s pretty obvious the novelty of ‘me’ has now worn off and it appears Ive had my A-List status downgraded. There’s definitely a lot less ‘Umuzungu’ shouting and frantic hand waving. Actually, come to think about it, I’m beginning to miss the staring too.
Unlike Rwanda there is no shortage of tourists or souvenirs in Zanzibar, surprisingly though, some of them are of pretty reasonable quality (tourists and souvenirs) and most pretty cheap! The Tanzanian Shilling is tied pretty closely to the US Dollar i.e.
Who needs a playstation when..
you can suck on sugar cane all afternoon. 1000 TSH will get you $1, whereas 1000 Rwandan Francs is about a Pound, hence to a Rwandan a lot of stuff would, if they ever went, seem like half price. Clearly another benefit of being by the sea, imports and you’re own exports are considerably cheaper. Conveniently it appears that the Rwandan government are trying very hard to erase any trace of the French from its country, with English now the preferred language in most schools and with Messers Cameron and Brown being President Paul Kagame’s new bestest buddies, it could well be a the Rwandan ‘Pound’ very soon.
Unlike Zanzibar, Rwanda has no noteworthy history with us Brits. Even Dr Livingstone appeared to miss the place, ironically in his pursuit of the source of The Nile which, very controversially, could now well be here. It may come as a surprise to hear, it did to me, that Zanzibar was once a British Protectorate, for over 70 years (1890-1963) and that it was in fact us Brits that were instrumental in the abolition of its ‘very’ active salve trade. In one century, from 1777-1876, more than a million men, women and children were sold in the Zanzibar
slave market and contrary to many perceptions the majority of these slave traders were Arabs and Africans (Swahilis) based in Zanzibar.
One major beneficiary of this trade was the then ruler of the island Sultan Said, a man also popular with the ladies, although how much choice they had in the matter is questionable; not quite in the King of Swaziland’s league but he did have three official wives and over 70 concubines. Even a certain Queen Victoria sent him a state coach and a silver-gilt tea service as an abolition sweetener. Sadly despite the British Navy’s best efforts (a meager 4 ships!), France, Germany, Portugal and America continued the trade for many more years.
It’s good to see that Britain is continuing to do good work in the region; with the recent visit here by Mr Cameron and its worth noting that our new PM Brown is currently Rwanda’s largest aid donor. President Kagame has done his best to reciprocate this kind gesture by sending more peacekeeping troops to join the African Nation contingent in Darfur. Incidentally, a number considerably higher than that offered by any other African country. I’m not sure its a fair
swap, bearing in mind its current troubles with the DRC north of Lake Kivu!, but then that’s African politics for you, you do the best with what you have.
Anyway getting back to the shopping, two items straight in the basket were the Zanzibar and Tanzanian national team’s football shirts, available everywhere and a snip at four quid each. Perfect to wind up my new Rwandan, football mad, friends. You wouldn’t believe the trouble I’ve had trying to buy the Rwandan equivalent. Obviously not available in the shops, I’ve had to draw upon my super human networking skills to even get close to one - only in Rwanda would you have to go through two of their ‘Premiership’ managers and wait for it, the Minister for Sports and Youth to get hold of a football shirt! Meeting booked for next week, watch this space.
Oh yeah and while I’m back on the subject of footie, remember that under 18 football tournament in Germany I mentioned in an earlier Blog entry? So far my team Rwanda are leading the ‘Missing in Action’ table ‘once again’, with three donning their lederhosen and jumping the fence so far… and
still their Head Coach, Mr Rwasamanzi, is quoted in the paper as saying he’s ‘surprised’ , ‘hurt’ and ‘humiliated’ and reckons ‘none of them can be trusted again’, you think!
Answer to the previous Pub Quiz question; The minimum height for a mountain is 610m above sea level.
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