Eid al Shkr and ONE MONTH LEFT and virginity in Morocco!

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So this week I have been in a weird mood. It's getting to be the end of the program, I only have one month left and it's really bittersweet. I am craving home(I legitimately had a dream about eating Domines Pizza last night) but at the same time I can't bear the thought of saying goodbye to my host family. They are the best part of this program hands down and I can't believe I have only known them for three months, they make me feel like I have been part of their family forever. I've been looking at jobs for next semester online and I'm also starting to look at different programs through with I can teach in China or Taiwan next year, and that's absolutely crazy to think about.

The other day we had our Thanksgiving dinner which was really fun! Some of the host moms prepared this elaborate feast for us with mashed potatoes, apple cider, sweet potatoes, salad, zucchini, eggplant--even a turkey! It was really interesting to feel like our random group of students from all over the country, our mom-of-a-newborn program director, and our Moroccan families were all celebrating this crazy American holiday together. My host mom asked my what the origin of Thanksgiving was and I found myself laughing as I tried to explain the "peaceful feast between the Native Americans and the Pilgrims" to her in French...obviously I have never learned the word for pilgrim in french...

What really inspired me to blog at this exact moment was the fact that my host brother just stormed in blabbering in Moroccan Arabic, my host mom kept raising her eyebrows and asking questions. I asked her what had happened and she explained that a man just down the street had commit suicide and had just been discovered by the police. He was about 32 years old and was depressed, and they think the major catalyst for his suicide was a dispute over a girl. It was terrible to hear, but it is honestly the first time I have heard someone talk about depression in Morocco. I asked if he had children but I believe he was unmarried and lived with his extended family. Terrible to hear.

This discussion soon lead into another where my host mom told me that somebody who lived down the street from us had killed his wife and cut her into pieces in Casablanca, then hid her in his Temara house until the police found her. I didn't believe her for a few seconds and asked why he wasn't in jail (thinking, well, that's the last time I ever go running alone here). Then she reaffirmed me that he is in fact in prison and has been for some time (Thank Allah).

I also had a really interesting conversation with a boy my age here about rape. I told him something had happened to me with a guy a while back and he said "wait, he wouldn't marry you after???"then explained to me the law that, if a girl gets raped here, either the assailant has to marry her or go to jail. I was a little shell-shocked when I heard this, but the basic theory behind it is if a girl's virginity is taken from her she is worth a lot less, and even if it is in the form of rape, no one will want to marry a non-virgin girl. Her only option becomes the man that defiled her, and she is shamed for losing her virginity before being married. Also, rape is a lot less bad here if the girl is already not a virgin. He also told me that the reason he does not want to do anything sexual with (consenting) girls here is because he does not want to end up in prison if they ask to marry him after, and he refuses. It's just SUCH a different culture. I went on trying to convince him that it's completely wrong to force a girl to marry her rapist, and he told me he is not like other boys here, he would never do something with a girl who didn't want to. I decided I will be writing my culture research paper and possibly making the subject of my capstone the idea of virginity in Morocco. I also talked to my host sister and she told me that one marriage tradition is that the mom of both the bride and groom will wait outside the hotel room after the two get married and except the couple to come outside after they consumate the marriage and show them the blood on the sheets. I tried to explain to her that not all girls have blood when they lose their virginity, and she said that if they don't the man might not believe they were a virgin, and might divorce her. I have also read that some people(the man or the woman) will make a small cut on themselves in order to make sure there is blood.

I will definitely post this paper when I am done writing it! On an end note I am SO EXCITED because in two weeks I am going to the desert with a few friends to ride camels out into the dunes and sleep under the stars for a night. It is going to be absolutely amazing. I have been alternating dreams about that with the dominoes pizza....

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