Membership Has Its Privileges at the Sunbird Lilongwe

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While in Lilongwe, I stay at the Sunbird Lilongwe Hotel. Don't be fooled, it is not the Le Meridian as advertised on Expedia. They pulled out some time ago when Malawi nationalized hotel chains and called them Sunbird or something like that. It's not really clear to me what exactly happened…

In any case, following my horrible cab ride, I now have a driver arranged through Africare or the hotel. So the manager of the hotel and I have become friends, as I believe it is some relative of his that chauffeurs me around. When he sees me, the manager, he asks if I need transportation for the day. Then we go into his office and he makes a call. All I know is I have the guy's number saved in my phone under "Driver, Mr.". When I get back to the hotel, the manager asks was everything okay, etc. I can't figure out if I'm supposed to tip the manager or not… I welcome all suggestions.

This is all to say that in the manager's office, I snoop the bulletin board while he's on the phone. Top clients of the hotel, training schedules for desk staff, etc. There is also a list of VIP classes. VIP 1, VIP 2, VIP 3, etc. I don't fall in any of the classes, VIP 1 is like the President, VIP 2 are Sunbird Chairmen, heads of UN agencies, etc., VIP 3 includes airline pilots and frequent visitors. Each class gets something, a Sunbird Logo gift, choice of fruit selection (whole and sliced), a bottle of wine. I think the bottle of wine is for VIP 1 only. It also describes how the room should be. VIP 1 and VIP 2 it states the all lights should be in working order, air conditioning should be in working order, and television should have good picture and sound. VIP 3 just says that the head of housekeeping should inspect prior to check in. I am not kidding. I don't think my VIP class is on the schedule because this is what I got when I checked in.

* The door to my room didn't lock
* A bathroom light that won't turn on
* A phone that didn't work, but following the visit by maintenance, now works on occasion if held at the proper angle
* No internet cards available for me to purchase

Speaking of internet. Last night I really needed to get online and check in with my office. The front desk attendant told me that they didn't have anymore wireless cards. This has been going on since I checked in on Thursday. And I guess nobody sells the Globe card anywhere else in town. Sensing my frustration, she said that I could go up to Cresta. I was like, sure. I'll do that. She sends this guy with me in a suit up to Cresta. Cresta I find out is another hotel, but they don't use Globe, they use Sky Net. So I'm out of luck. Then we are walking out and I see a store that has "Globe Hot Spot" in the window. We go in to inquire about the Globe Cards and they say that someone just put that sign in the window. Um, okay. I think they are running a media campaign against Sky based on false pretenses.

Then we cross the street and find an internet café that is open. So all is well, we check our email for about 30 minutes and then I'm like, should we head back to the hotel. The guy is like, okay, lets take a mini-bus, it's cheaper and it's just down the road. I'm down with that. We get on the bus and ride down the hill to the hotel. He walks me into the hotel and then he says, well, I live in the opposite direction, so have a good stay in Lilongwe. Okay, dude did not work in the hotel, he lives in town and had come by to buy an internet card and use the hotspot at the hotel. Turns out he had a visa to the UK, came back to get married, and then the UK wouldn't let him come back, even though he owned a house. He is currently engaged in a lawsuit against the British government over his visa.

I'm flummoxed. I thank the guy profusely. I don't know whether to laugh or cry that the desk clerk sent me out with some guy. I was like, oh, are you friends with the staff here in the hotel? He was like, no, I just popped in to use the internet.

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