Bucket showers, elections and the eighth wonder of the world


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November 23rd 2007
Published: November 23rd 2007
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Sunset over Kilifi CreekSunset over Kilifi CreekSunset over Kilifi Creek

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The travels of September and October now behind us, we've settled back into Kilifi life and are now fast approaching the end of our time here. The mild weather we'd been enjoying a couple of months back has well and truly made way for the season of steam - Kilifi is now a hot-bed of sweat, with only an average of ten minutes of relief from the heat (just after the rain stops in the morning). Turning up the fan full blast so that it sounds like you're sleeping next to a chopper is really the only way to guarantee a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, our water supply has chosen this time to keep packing it in. We're waiting for our landlord to arrange a plumber so, in the mean time, we have no water every 2 or 3 days. Luckily though, Salim (the guy who lives next door) is usually able to fix it temporarily, via the amusing method of removing the tap in the shower and blowing into the pipes which looks strangely like he's pashing the wall. I'm not sure if this is a tried and true method of plumbers the world over, but it seems to be
Sunset over Mombasa RoadSunset over Mombasa RoadSunset over Mombasa Road

Yes, we have gone a bit sunset crazy this year!
effective! Despite the temporary fixes, I have had a lot of bucket showers as it seems a little mean to bother Salim late at night or early in the morning and, try as I might, I can't wall pash as well as he can...

It's now only 2 weeks until we leave Kilifi and, in the last few weeks we've been trying to enjoy the town and surrounds as much as we can on the weekends. This has been a bit of a change from the previous routine at work, which involved working weekends fairly regularly so that I could then take long weekends off for us to travel. Obviously, given the weather, this has meant a lot of swimming - we've done our best to seek out good spots at the creek, beach and the pools at the local resorts. The highlight of our pool-related activities though was our trip to the Wild Waters Waterslide Park on the outskirts of Mombasa last weekend. Whoever invented waterslides deserves a big medal. Who would have thought that a slide, some water and an inflatable ring could be so good?? We had so much fun, we're going back next weekend for birthday waterslides...

Other tidbits of Kilifi information:
- I have a crazy-man nemesis in the street near the hospital. A couple of times a day when I'm riding my bike to or from work, he tries to jump out at me, making various movements that I think are designed to knock me off my bike while I do a duck-and-weave to try and avoid him in amongst a crowd of people walking down the middle of the road. However, contrary to what you probably think, I've not fallen once and, am becoming quite an expert at the fake-one-way-go-the-other move on a bike with bad brakes!
-There was a halloween party here a couple of weeks ago, hosted by Patrick and Wendy (an american couple living in Kilifi). I've included some pictures of our costumes which are pretty ridiculous, and something I blame on Nathan's veto of five of us dressing as New Kids on The Block (complete with bad hairstyles and overalls with one shoulder undone a la the Step by Step film clip) in favour of dressing as his new iPhone!! So, after some emergency last-minute clothes buying at the local stalls, lathering on of hair gel (managed
Big, big crabBig, big crabBig, big crab

One of our many household 'pets'
to fashion a mohawk out of my hair) and raiding of Caroline's make-up supply, we pulled together some dodgy clown outfits. And, despite Brigid's excellent t-shirt, which said 'FACT: Clowns eat people', we clearly had the least scary costumes, and it was no surprise that I won the prize for worst dressed!
-Thanks to the wonders of Skype and of Conor, we now have the new Emily Ulman CD and had a very exciting evening the other night sitting on the verandah, drinking beer, watching the monkeys and listening to it. We're starting to get pretty excited about coming home, something that is manifesting itself in us developing weird nostalgias for things we never really liked such as television ads and Hampton St. So, it was great to have a little taste of exciting Aussie things in advance - thanks, Snorus!

With the Australian election now only one day away, we both have our fingers firmly crossed that Johnny gets the boot tomorrow. We sent off our postal votes earlier in the week as, even though you are not fined for not voting if you're overseas, we did want to have our say on this one. Kenya.is also preparing
Monkeys on the fenceMonkeys on the fenceMonkeys on the fence

More household pets
for a federal election on December 27th and, seeing the lead-up to it has really brought home how apathetic we Australians are as a whole with regards to something as important as who runs our country. For the last month or so, it has been rare in the lab to hear something other than the Kenyan election being discussed. Elections and politics over here are quite an interesting and complicated matter. The election was called in January and, since then, there has been many a merger and splitting of factions (with the main parties now known by completely different names as they are generally a conglomeration of 3 or 4 groups). Each of the 3 main candidates used to be ministers in the same government and are now on 3 different sides following the latest split in August. It seems that it's likely to be a two-horse race between the incumbent Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga, with the third candidate Kalonzo Musyoka widely considered to not be presidential material personality-wise. People I've spoken to here seem fairly split between the two - which mainly seems to be because a lot of people don't like either of them. The president before
Anyone want to know what an iPhone looks like?Anyone want to know what an iPhone looks like?Anyone want to know what an iPhone looks like?

This is the reason we couldn't go to the Halloween party as NKOTB
Kibaki, Daniel Arap Moi, is considered one of the more corrupt figures in Kenya's history and, when compared to him, Kibaki looks squeaky clean. And, his introduction of free primary schooling for all Kenyans 4 years ago was one of the most important changes in the recent history of this country. There are still a lot of complaints about him though - primarily that, after doing not a lot for the last couple of years, he is coming good on promises and getting projects finished now to look good come poll time. Also, his government has looked rather silly over their claims to have spent 42.5 billion Kenyan shillings (about $770million AUD) on Kenya's roads this year, when clearly the roads are in disarray (and the Mombasa-Malindi Road was only redone because Kibaki was coming to visit!). Those who support Odinga seem to be doing so because they want a change rather than because they think he's a great candidate - there is a lot of fear that he will turn out to be a dictator-style leader (interestingly, 2 of his children are called Fidel - after Castro - and Winnie - after Mandela!). Additionally, there is a lot of
Um, yes...Um, yes...Um, yes...

Once again looking ridiculous...
fear that things will turn very violent come election-time, which makes me glad that we'll be gone by then. There have been small signs of things going that way so far - there have been a few attacks on (and sometimes by) candidates and their bodyguards in Nairobi recently. Last week the election rallies came through Kilifi with their vans and megaphones, driving round yelling slogans until the early hours of the morning. Apparently a lot of the people involved in the rallies are paid by the parties not in cash, but in palm wine, which obviously does not help minimise any violence. There was a rock-throwing fight between two rival groups that night, which in sleepy Kilifi is very out of the ordinary. I think we're not the only ones who are glad that they've now moved on!

So, to finish off, I have a few lists that Brigid and I have had a bit of fun compiling in the last week or so. The first one is 'The rules of Kenya', and is a list of things we've noted to be significantly different between Kenyan and Australian culture. Some of them - particularly the social-type ones, we've loved (Kenya is an incredibly friendly place), some have made us laugh, and a few we've found just plain frustrating.


The Rules of Kenya

Language/Social Rules
1. Speak in the plural (‘hellos’) when greeting more than one person, as is done in Swahili.
2. Welcome every mzungu you see, even if you’ve seen them 100 times before and you know they live here.
3. Welcome people for dinner that you have never seen before. Welcome them to weddings too. Welcome them to come and visit you if they are
ever in your town again.
4. Just welcome.
5. The correct answer to ‘how are you?’ is ‘fine’ (or any variation of fine including ‘fine fine’, ‘very fine’ and ‘extremely fine’). It is NOT well or
good and certainly not anything negative.
6. When talking about yourself, say ‘Me, I….’ as is done in Swahili.
7. Say the words ‘just’, ‘imagine’ and ‘even me’ often.
8. Ask people who’ve been on holidays where they’ve been lost.
9. Always repeat back what someone has said to you (note: this is actually incredibly useful when you’re learning Swahili).
10. Pranking someone on their phone to send
Mohawk ChickenMohawk ChickenMohawk Chicken

My prize for worst dressed at the Halloween party. Clearly the best prize though
them your number or let them know you’ve arrived somewhere is called ‘flashing’. The phrase ‘I’ll flash you’ means something very different in Kenyan English compared to Australian English.
11. Always squeal when excited. Or even if you are not. Especially if you are a man.
12. Sing while you are working. Or walking. Or just hanging. Sing all the time, regardless of your talents. God songs are good.
13. Laugh a lot.
14. Hold hands with your friends when you walk down the street (but only if they are of the same gender to you).
15. Public spitting and snotting is ok

Eating/drinking rules
16. Pole pole (slowly slowly)… never hurry… especially when cooking dinner. A meal should never be ready in less than 90 minutes, and may take
up to 3 hours.
17. Drinks must be poured until they reach the rim of the glass (=Kenyan pour)
18. Drinks such as beer and sodas will be served warm unless cold is specifically asked for.
19. If someone asks for a vodka and red bull, assume they mean they want a whole bottle of vodka.

Road rules
20. Drive on the wrong side of the road to avoid potholes. Drive on the wrong side of the road coming back the other way too.
21. Taxis will not get to Nairobi Airport without being stopped at least twice to pay bribes to on-duty policemen.

Miscellaneous rules
22. If something is worth doing, it should be done by at least two people (preferably holding hands for increased dexterity and efficiency).
23. Sweeping is the number one domestic chore.
24. Nothing is ever really broken. Even things that look like they should have reached the tip years ago can, and will, be fixed.
25. Having tinted windows in your car is punishable by a day in jail.


Top Amusing Names of Kenya

1. Physics
2. Geography
3. Desire (for a man)
4. Boniface
5. Paradis (no e)
6. Berry
7. Boys’ names such as Justin, with an -e on the end (for reasons unknown).
8. Kiti (means ‘chair’ in Swahili)
9. Trogan (pronounced Trojan)
10. Shadrack
*Days of the week score an honourable mention too…


Top songs in Kilifi

1. Lady in red - Chris De Burgh
2. Nobody wanna see us together
Brigid demonstrates alternate forms of sun protectionBrigid demonstrates alternate forms of sun protectionBrigid demonstrates alternate forms of sun protection

(for those who have forgotten a hat)
- Akon
3. Anything by Westlife
4. Anything by Celine Dion
5. Anything by Britney
6. Anything by Boyz II Men
7. Banjuka tu (trans. Shake your booty)
8. More than words - Extreme
9. I don’t wanna dance - Eddy Grant
10. Shakie, shakie, shakie - by Upendo Kids

Ok, that's all from me today. Two weeks left in Kilifi, then we head to South Africa for two weeks before heading home for Christmas! Not long now until we see you all again, love K x.







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