The one where I build a school of gold

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Currently, I am in my home, with my eyes transfixed on my e-commerce book. With all the beauty that lies right out my door, it is terrible nauseating to force myself to contemplate which is the preferable web template. It is true that I signed up for this class, however, why do I give a rip about e-commerce. Props to those of you who get high off of HTML, customer acquisitions, and web marketing, but I am personally numbed by the subject. The thought of spending another minute alone with my book brings me to tears. I need to learn how to fix my toilet when it clogs, how to get rice out of my drain without breaking the pipes, and how to effectively wash all my clothes by hand with minimal scrubbing and soap. This got me thinking, we need a school of hard knocks. A physical building with real teachers and reading material (fun and enjoyable to read reading material). Attendance would be semi-optional, because as a hard knock you should be skipping school to practice your practical, hard knock skills. No tests, the real test is how you perform in life.

I think a school of hard-knocks would be a pretty sweet institution. Maybe I could start one up in The Gambia, for ex-patriots who have no clue how to live here. I nominate myself the head mistress! We could teach students how to get a taxi, how to avoid being ripped off, how to cook rice and beans properly, how to install a propane tank, how to avoid arrests and exile, and how to function as a normal human being in an alternate universe of perpetual heat and mosquitoes. I’m assured I would have some students. The more I write about this asinine plan to avoid e-commerce, the more I think it is a killer idea. I know some people who have read and studied Africa intensely, and know a lot about it. But those studies are of no help for practical living and survival in the continent. What is a bunch of literature and scientific studies if you don’t have the practical skills to live, survive, and thrive? Living in Gambia is a fine art, one that I have not perfected, but one I am seasoned and well trained in. My school of hard knocks came from friends, and random people telling me what to do. A lot of it was frustrating, and came by trial and error. My alternate education here has taught me more about living and the skills to do it than I have learned in any book. My passion for the hard knock way extends to all the clueless and frustrated ex-pats everywhere. I’m going to need a cool name, a building (maybe my house), some teachers, a hairdryer and dental floss. If McGuiver can build a bomb out of a dirt sock and a piece of twine, then I can some how build my school of hard knocks.

If you are interested in being a hard knock, let me know, and I will keep you in mind for my highly competitive program ;-)

Quote of the post:
"The loving heart stays young!" -The back of my laundry soap box

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