2 days in the mother of all tourist traps

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As I struggled through the bustling crowds of Cairo's Ramses Station and squeezed onto the 10 p.m. train to Luxor, I was struck with a rather unpleasant sensation. I would liken it to the feeling of dread one might have shortly before stumbling intentionally into a bear trap that they can quite plainly see. All far-fetched metaphors aside, however, the trap I'm speaking of at the moment is one for tourists.

Anyone who's ever cracked open an Egypt travel guide or spoken to someone who's been there knows that Luxor is famous for two things: the sprawling ruins of the ancient Egyptian city of Thebes, and its harassment of tourists. Although I determined many months ago that I would be going to Luxor (for it would be a shame to miss such spectacular sites), it's for this second reason that my apprehension was more than slight.

After 13 hours on the train and an uncomfortable night of sleep at best, I arrived in Luxor at 11 a.m., sleep-deprived and caffeine-deprived. I stiff-armed the touts and hustlers accosting me as I stepped off the train, and darted out of the station breathless, searching frantically for a coffee shop. Fortunately there was one directly across the street, so I made my way over, sat down, ordered a Turkish coffee, and flipped open the Lonely Planet guide to make plans for the day. I decided that the Luxor Temple and the Temple of Karnak were first in order.

Feeling much revived, I paid for the coffee and walked over to the Luxor Temple a few blocks away on the east bank of the Nile. It's a pretty prominent site in the middle of the city, with some impressive stone columns and massive statues at the entrance. The walls of the interior were covered with beautiful hieroglyphic carvings. It wasn't very expansive though, so I was in and out relatively quickly. I decided to head to the Temple of Karnak next, and went out onto the street to arrange a ride to the temple, 3.5 km away. I let the driver of a horse-drawn carriage and a taxi driver fight over me for a few minutes before, with some negotiating, arranging for a round-trip in the carriage for cheaper than the taxi would have cost.

So I took the carriage through the lovely (translation: abhorrent) city of Luxor to the Temple of Karnak. On my way in I passed probably about 50 large groups of tourists leaving Karnak, so that greatly heightened my spirits. (There are armies of tourist groups prowling every corner of the entire city.) Once I got across the parking lot and the Temple of Karnak came into view, my jaw dropped. The place is ENORMOUS. Towering pillars stretched back for what looked like miles, with other minor ruins extending out on either side. I was entranced from the moment I went in. The carvings and frescoes were absolutely exquisite, and I simply cannot put into words what it's like to stand in the Great Hypostyle Hall in a forest of gargantuan stone columns. I felt very insignificant, we'll put it that way.

I exited the Temple of Karnak and hopped back into my carriage for the ride back to town, unsure of what I would do next. The driver keeps telling me I would really love the Egyptian bazaar and that we should stop and take a look. Fat chance, buddy. Take me back to where we started. A little ways down the road he turns down an alley and stops the carriage.

"If this is the bazaar, I said I didn't want to come here."
"Just take a look, really nice stuff."
"No. I'm not interested. Keep driving."
"Come on, just take a look, no charge for looking."

A vendor walks up (presumably a friend of the driver providing him with a commission) carrying a display board covered with watches and turns up the heat.

"Yes, just come in, very cheap."
"No."
"I have Rolex, not much money, I give you free Sphinx toy with Rolex."
"Look buddy, I'm sure you're walking around with tens of thousands of dollars' worth of Rolex watches here, and that's very enticing, but I don't want one, and I don't want a plastic Sphinx either. If you're not taking me back to where we agreed, then I'm walking and you're not seeing a single piaster from me."

The two of them grumble to each other in Arabic. The watch guy trudges off, and the driver sullenly hoists himself up onto the carriage. He drives me back to the Temple of Luxor, and I pay him.

At that point, I figured I should probably should book a hotel room. It's tourist season, and places could fill up quickly. So I set off at a brisk pace down Sharia Mohamed Farid and, sure enough, am flagged down by a hotel tout within a block. Now normally I would shrug him off and go my way, but if he's tracking people down on the street, there must be room in whatever hotel he runs. Plus I was starting to feel pretty confident about my bargaining skills and thought I might be able to finagle something. He offered me a room for 35 pounds with A/C and a private bathroom, so I told him I'd take a look. I was skeptical, but the room was in good shape and had a balcony overlooking the Luxor Temple. I talked him down to 20, and later when I looked in the guide book it said that that particular hotel's normal rate is 70-80 per night. Not a bad deal for me.

Later that afternoon, after dinner, I took a walk down the Nile near where the feluccas (saiboats) and cruise ships dock. Naturally I was followed by a pack of hustlers, but I shook them off and struck up a conversation with a friendly kid nearby. He was maybe 18 or 19 years old, and he informed me that he and his co-captain were about to take a felucca out for a sunset sail if I wanted to join them. I explained to him that I don't really have the money to rent out a whole boat for myself, but he said that they were taking the boat out anyway so I didn't have to pay. AWESOME.

We boarded the boat and were towed out into the river by a tugboat (there was no wind, thus it wasn't really a sunset sail, but more of a float). The guy, whose name was Mahmoud, pulled out a Bob Marley Greatest Hits tape and asked if I wanted to listen to it. Did I ever. He popped it into the sound system and sat back. I could not have been happier.... having spent most of the last three months in a bustling city of 16 million people, watching the sun set dazzlingly over the palm trees from a sailboat in the Nile to the tune of "No Woman No Cry" was probably the most relaxing hour I've spent in Egypt.

We rowed back to the dock and I was invited to stay for a bit and hang out, which I did. The guys I talked to were all in their late teens and early 20s and had been on the Nile since they could remember. They grew up in Luxor, their parents grew up in Luxor, their parents' parents grew up in Luxor, and everyone seemed to know everyone else. For all the westernized touristy veneer in the town, there's a very tight-knit community underneath. Mahmoud said to me, "The tourists and the hotels and the crowds get old sometimes, but I love my life. I love it here, living on the Nile, working on the Nile, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

After thanking the young captains for their hospitality and the free ride, I grabbed some dinner and went back to the hotel to catch a full night's sleep for the West Bank early the following morning. And by West Bank I'm referring not to the Israeli-occupied territories, but rather to the Theban necropolis on the other side of the river that contains the Valley of the Kings, Valley of the Queens, and numerous other tombs and temples.

Early the next morning I packed up my things, checked out and hopped on the ferry over to the West Bank. From there I decided to hit the Valley of the Kings first, so I got a taxi was on my way. The Valley of the Kings, to be honest, really wasn't that great. It's a must-see because it's probably the most famous archaeological site in the world and because it's pretty cool to see the place where all of the rulers of an ancient civilization were buried 4,000 years ago, but I thought it paled in comparison to the Temple of Karnak... and the vast majority of the tombs aren't open to the public. Entrance to three tombs were included in the admission, so I visited the tombs of Ramses I and Ramses IX first. The interiors were pretty drab, because most of the stuff that was in there was either stolen by tomb robbers or moved to museums years ago. After that I was thinking of going into the tomb of King Tut, but there was a 2-hour wait to go in coupled with a sizable extra fee. So, on the recommendation of Lonely Planet, I checked out the tomb of Thutmose III. The tomb was wedged back in the farthest corner of the valley, high up in a crevice in the cliff face. I climbed up the staircase to the tomb entrance and ran into a British couple I had befriended on the walk up from the ticket office a little earlier. They implored me to brace myself for a deep descent into the tomb. So I braced myself, went down a flight of steps, went down another flight of steps... and then another, aaand then one more. The bottom of this steep, stuffy passage opened into a dark, stuffy room with some very impressive frescoes of various Egyptian gods. I then was directed down yet another flight of steps, leading to another, which led to the room where Thutmose III was buried. There were some really spectacular carvings and painting down there, as well as the sarcophagus in which the pharaoh was buried.

After emerging from the tomb, I decided to go for a little hike. If you can see in any of the photos from the East Bank or the video I'm including on the sailboat, you can see on the West Bank a fairly tall ridge. Immediately on the other side of this ridge, running roughly parallel to it, is the Valley of the Kings. I had heard a rumor that there was a hike you could take from the Valley of the Kings up over the ridge and back down to Deir al-Bahri (a complex of temples on the Nile side of the ridge), affording some of the best views in Egypt. The temperature was tolerable, so I asked a guard to point me in the right direction and set off. I climbed up the steep ridge and followed it along the edge overlooking the Valley of the Kings, and then started back the other way over the ridge. The view was breathtaking. I'm not sure how well the pictures came out since it's very dusty out there, but the ridge overlooked the entire Nile Valley plain. Built into the cliff face a few hundred feet directly below me was the Temple of Hatshepsut, and the desert ran abruptly into the lush green farmland of the Nile valley plain. In the distance the Nile was visible, and a noticeable cloud of smog hung over the city of Luxor in the distance off to the left. After taking in the view for a few minutes, I started down that side of the ridge. Thirty minutes later I arrived at Hatshepsut and bought a ticket.

The Temple of Hatshepsut is a fairly recognizable ancient Egyptian monument, and is very eye-catching the way it's built into the base of the cliff. Unfortunately it's quite accessible and thus swarming with tourists, and has also undergone a good deal of questionable restoration that hasn't exactly maintained its authenticity. However, there were some impressive statues lining the terrace at the top of the ramp, and the ground-floor porticoes on either side of the ramp featured some incredibly beautiful and well-preserved paintings.

I hitched a ride with some locals in a pickup down to a highly recommended restaurant called Mohammed's Good Restaurant to get some lunch. It was a nice little place and it, unlike other Luxor establishments, did not advertise falsely: I was served by the jovial Mohammed, and food was indeed very good. (Kofta and rice stewed southern-Egyptian style in a clay pot with a mug of fresh lemon juice, if anyone's wondering.) I was joined at my table by an American man named John who was out traveling on his own as well and had stopped there for lunch. John was born and raised in South Carolina and Georgia, but has lived the last 15 years in Rio de Janeiro and had spent the last week visiting Luxor. He was a very nice man and insisted on paying for my lunch despite my objections. He had hired a guide and offered to give me a lift back to town, but I decided to hike it myself to the Colossus of Memnon, which is supposed to be the first thing you see on your way to the Theban necropolis, but my taxi driver that morning had taken a rather circuitous route to the Valley of the Kings. I am so happy I decided to walk, and here's why.

As I started down the road toward Memnon, I saw a sign pointing down a lonely road toward the temple of Medinet Habu. John had mentioned that it was really amazing, and it was only about 2 p.m., so I turned around and went back to the ticket office next to Mohammed's and bought a ticket for it. I walked a kilometer or so back down that side road and arrived at Medinet Habu to find that with the exception of an unaccompanied group of three French tourists, I was the only one there. I entered the complex and ducked into a small side temple of some kind that was almost completely intact. There I found some exquisite (I'm running out of adjectives) carvings, and the tall, narrow hallways were covered from floor to ceiling with hieroglyphics visible only by the eerie light filtering through small square openings cut into the stone ceiling. This, I thought, is what I visualize when I think of ancient Egyptian temples.

I emerged from there into the plaza in front of the main temple, and was struck dumb on the spot. The pictures I took here show it pretty well so you can take a look for yourself but the massive facade of the building was completely covered with hieroglyphics as well as two carvings, one on each side, of pharaohs cutting people's heads off. A really bizarre but awesome thing to lay eyes on in person. There were three or four successive courts, each with a mind-boggling array of frescoes, carvings, statues, and columns quite similar (though a bit smaller) to those of the Great Hypostyle Hall in the Temple of Karnak. The last courtyard was mostly in ruins and reminded me a bit of an Aztec temple, but it had a bunch of side chambers and hallways, most of which were open. I got intentionally lost in this labyrinth for a little while, and found some of the most brilliant paintings, especially on the ceilings and the lintels of doorways. (I got at least one or two great pictures of these.) I then wandered back to the entrance, which took me a while because I found some other passageways and rooms to poke around in. But all in all, I think the Medinet Habu was my favorite site in Luxor. I'm not sure if this would have changed had there been more crowds there, but the Temple of Karnak was a close second despite being overrun by Korean tourists who spent more time looking through a camera lens than looking with their own eyes.

I pressed on towards the Colossus of Memnon, which was OK. The main reason I went out of my way to see it was because it was the basis for a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley entitled "Ozymandias," which I like very much. The two statues, while massive, are not in very good condition... but pretty cool to see. But my day was not yet over.

As I exited Memnon and crossed the street, contemplating whether to (a) saddle up and hike it the 3 km back to town or (b) try to flag down a pickup, a local man stopped me on the shoulder. He was maybe in his 50's, wearing the traditional Southern Egyptian white galabiyya and turban, and spoke excellent English.

"Haven't I seen you before? Down there at Memnon maybe?"
"I... don't think so... I just went there for the first time just now."
"Your face looks very familiar. You weren't there maybe, 20 years ago?"
"No, I'm only 21 so I don't think so."
"Ah. Well you look like someone I remember. Would you like to come in for some Egyptian tea, for free?"

Long pause.

"Uhhhmmm.... sure. Yeah sure, why not."
"Wonderful, follow me."

Now normally I would say no, but I accepted his invitation for a couple of reasons. Egyptians who invite you into their home never mean any real harm. They just either want you to buy something, which is usually the case, or they just like to chat and practice their English. But there was something kindly about this man and I was in no particular rush, so I figured why not? I've decided that it's usually these spur-of-the-moment opportunities that are result in some of the best experiences, and if he really did just want to sell me stuff, I've dealt with enough vendors to have no qualms putting that to rest.

I followed him down into his garden, where he kept a sheep, two goats and a cow. He showed me the stone wall he's building to fence in the animals, and he poked once or twice at the embers of something that was burning on the ground, I'm not sure what it was. He escorted me into his mud-floor cottage and cordially invited me to take a seat. He called down the hall in Arabic to his daughter, presumably for some tea, and began explaining the photos on his wall. He had pictures of his three children, who were maybe between the ages of 8 and 13. He told me about his farm, where they grow sugar cane. Then the tea arrived... the strongest cup of black tea I've ever had, it was fantastic. Then, as I sipped my tea, he pulled out a box and started spreading ancient Egyptian artifacts all over the table.

What?

Yes, apparently this man was a father of three, a sugar cane farmer by day, and a tomb robber by night. Hmm. He showed me carved scarab beetles he had 'found,' along with some pieces of stone statues he had 'come across' somewhere 'near' a tomb. But he had some legitimate stuff too... some old Roman and Islamic coins, some beautiful antique alabaster. I was waiting patiently for him to start hassling me to purchase his illegal goods, but he never really did. He just said that he sells them sometimes and sort of offhandedly mentioned that he might sell something to me if I was interested. This might sound like a sales pitch to you guys, but in Egypt if someone actually wants you to buy something, they make it abundantly clear... and they don't let it go until they succeed in either making a sale or driving you away. So his tactics were quite subtle. But I had to get going to catch the ferry back across the river and buy a train ticket back to Cairo, so after I kindly informed him that my house is just brimming with stolen ancient artifacts and I simply could not fit another one through the door I begged him leave, thanked him for his hospitality and caught a pickup back to town.

The rest is history... I bought a train ticket, blew a few hours in the Luxor plaza watching some Nubian musicians perform and checking out a great painting symposium they put on display in the plaza. Took the train overnight, got back to Cairo this morning.

Luxor was great, I had a wonderful time. I was expecting mostly to get harassed and annoyed, but I ended up meeting some of the nicest and most interesting people. I think it helped that I've been in Egypt for a little while now and am used to interacting with Egyptians. I don't believe most of the tourists in Luxor are accustomed to the unique way (for better or worse) that people interact here, and I heard a lot of them complaining. But my trip was just great. 😊

I leave for Oman and Dubai in 5 days, so there'll be some extensive posts when I get back. Oh and I bought a plane ticket to Istanbul, where it looks like I'll be spending Christmas and New Year's before heading to Israel on New Year's Day. Updates forthcoming....

-Mike

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Photos

In the horse-drawn carriage
On the way to the Temple of Karnak