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Published: September 28th 2006
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Jesus
Vota X Jesus! May the wind take your troubles away
My curtainless, tvless, largely furnitureless urban camping experience continues. You should stop by the school and see all the “Vote for Jesus!” Signs. Or “Vota Jesus!” to be more exact. Turns out there is a kid named Jesus running for vocero* (basically class president). He also happens to be the cutest little 2nd grade midget ever. What’s funny is he’s not the shortest kid in his class, but man he will be. I feel like when I’m in the shower that someone kindly translated the handle for me. You have two choices, turn it to the left towards the C - and get freezing Cold water, or turn to the F - and get
Frio (cold). It’s great. Sure the C is supposed to represent
Caliente (hot), but that’s a touch misleading. I like rainy season, but it certainly puts a damper on the whole bathing experience, as the only time it’s bearable is when you have a good sheen of sweat going. Josh Linn’d have no problem with the shower, although the country on a whole might be one of his rings of hell for such evil deeds as when he told
Rodadero Beach
From the pool deck Al the ending to Seven while he was watching it, or when he crashed Matt’s computer by not paying the electric bill. Pretty damn responsible of you Josh.
I rode home from school today with one of the kids I tutor, in an armored car decked out with bulletproof glass and all. Made me wish I had incited a few more blood feuds against me. One of my student’s aunts called me out of the blue the other day. Apparently she got my number, and my name as a possible date from her 8-year-old nephew, my former student. She’s 39. Besides being one of my more stunningly awkward phone calls, how weird is it that she’s got her prepubescent nephew scouting for her? We went out and are now engaged. In seriousness and to end the inquires, I find the ladies interested but not interesting, and thus have been keeping my own company. I am going to replace my cat though (not in my heart), just waiting for my friend’s promiscuous cat to have kittens again. My taxi yesterday was trapped on a narrow street behind a donkey cart that had the worldly belongings of a family tied to it Beverly Hillbillies style, except about 10 times more backward. Nice moving van. I could just see Garcia moving piano’s on a donkey drawn cart. Get him back to those Mexican roots in a hurry.
Although Robert Pirsig* might believe it gets in the way of my finding Zen, I appreciate the distance wearing my headphones gives me while walking through my little hamlet. It’s like I’m in a little bubble and I like to imagine the vendors are all yelling accolades rather than trying to sucker me into buying something.
Album of the week: Straight outta Lynwood, Weird Al. Funniest song of the album, White and Nerdy, although Trapped in the Drive Through is hilarious as well.
Movie of the week: Not a movie, but I watch the Gus Chiggins Will Ferrell SNL skit almost everyday.
Book of the Week: Living to Tell the Tale, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, his autobiography reads like the magical realism of his novels while giving me some insight into the region when he lived here.
Goodbye and thanks for all the fish,
~Tyrone
p.s. How funny was it that time Tom got into a stranger’s car in the McDonalds drive-in at 3 in the morning because they wouldn’t serve him on foot and the inside was closed?
Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed.
It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them. Man, wise up!
* Literally spokesperson
* Author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
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PFUNK
non-member comment
watch me work now
I am Spartacus. Joel, I feel that the gross attack on Josh Linn's character was a horrific injustice. Remember it was me that inadvertently destroyed his computer, aka 100 gig porn love house. In five days I become totally responsible for all the bills in the business. Today my phone service kicked in and I saw for the first time a beautiful thing. Caller ID, on my new phone. I talked with ol' Garcia today. He's doin somethin silly like electrician. Don't he know that them Mexicans is only good at roofin and tile'n? I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. And I mean the kick ass kind of sleep where you wake up a millionaire riding in a spaceship made of love and chocolate chips. peace brotha man PFUNK