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Published: March 2nd 2014
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Sleepy eyed and full of surprisingly delicious free South African plane wine we emerged full of excitement at OR Tambo airport. Jumping in an official airport taxi we took off for our home for 4 weeks - Swanage in Sandringham. We'd heard that 1/7 drivers in Jo'berg at any one time are drunk...and it certainly seemed like it!! People swerving in and out of lanes, emergency breaking and tooting galore!!
Twenty minutes later we'd arrived...in completely the wrong neighbourhood! Our taxi driver, whilst nice enough, assured us that he hadn't quite got the best grasp of the city yet! Rolling his sleeves up Ed took the mantle (and the map!) and we headed towards Victoria avenue. Finally arriving in our neighbourhood, we couldn't help but stare out the window...not even cut the rope could distract us!! What a place!! Backing onto a golf course, the houses were gorgeous and the roads named after British monarchs...we'd landed on our feet...which was lucky because it looked like we may have to do a fair amount of running!!
Security guards with M4s patrolled the neighbourhoods, electric fences and barbed wire adorned every house and guard dogs barked angrily
at us as we passed...naturally we started to get a bit twitchy! What were the next 4 weeks going to bring? Road trips or carjackings?! Nights out or nights in hugging our knees in the corner?! Trauma management or managing each other's trauma?!
The gates swung open as our new housemate Maria (a Spanish anaesthetist), happy we weren't muggers, clicked the safety button and let us inside. Swanage was fantastic! A pool, zen pond and a beautiful garden greeted us outside - what a place to relax in the sunshine after a busy 24hr shift. The kitchen was fully stocked with everything from a great open stove, super sized fridgefreezers and even an olive de-pipper! Most importantly perhaps there was a coffee grinder and cafetiere...even if I'm not a better doctor when I come home I will certainly be a top notch barrista!! Waiting for our host (a consultant physician at Baragwanath (our Soweto hospital base)) we unpacked and made ourselves at home. Our bedrooms were roomy and clean...with bars on the windows of course!! Alan's welcome blurb said there was 3 rules in swanage...
1. This is your home - Swanage can cater
Top security...
+ Ed working on his tough face! for all...except for your love life!
2. Feel free to bring friends over for dinner, we can cook for all and everyone
3. Keep the kitchen clean!
It was clearly going to be an interesting month! Awoken from a couple of hours napping...our host had arrived. It was quickly apparent that Alan was welcoming, intelligent, eccentric, passionate and hilarious all in equal measures! A doctor, come-priest, come-gamekeeper, come-chef he whipped us up a tom-yum and fish lunch feast whilst we chatted about the violence in South Africa post-apartheid, how medicine and religion had influenced his life and practice and how good his BBQ parties were!! Beers for the boys were definitely going to feature over the next 4 weeks!
Reading through the guest book it was great to hear advice and testimonies from the past 'Swans' of swanage - almost 180 had stayed here over 6 years (and only one armed carjacking...now that's good odds!!). We instantly felt much more comfortable with staying here and exploring Joberg. But what to do? Carless until Sunday we were stranded!
Not to worry Alan said...we could borrow his car!! (Insurance fully comp
Room with a view...
Of burglars in the night! Dad not to worry 😉). Now that's what I call trust! With our sparkling, window-tinted, rear-view camera'd, air conditioned 4x4 in tow we dropped Alan at the airport at set about to explore!! Putting the CD changer on - Westlife was in the player...clearly a man with impeccable music taste!!
First stop Greenstone mall. Glimmering, stylish shops, boutique restaurants and...crossbows?! With home security shops littered the entrance...it was a bit of culture shock right from the start. Although perhaps the most shocking thing was the local Africaans trouser lines...some would even rival David 'shortage of shorts' Glasbey in his hay day!! After some browsing we grabbed some groceries from the 'pick and pay' (20p for mango and passionfruit!!) we headed out to find the legendary 'JAY JAYS' butchers. We'd heard good things but this was something different altogether!! T-bone, club steak, fillet, ostrich, horse, rhino all for an unimaginably cheap price!! Settling on 5 huge tasty looking club steaks (£3.50!!) and some ostrich biltong (Ed is obsessed already!).
Rushing back for a quick shower we decided to head out to a local rugby game in the legendary Ellis Park arena. Only problem was...the stadium
Home
Will be 'swanning' around in here for the next 4 weeks! was in one of the more dangerous areas of town...Hillbrow. Ringing Alan's student nephew Matthew, he assured us that it was really safe around rugby games with a strong police presence...so we decided to open a can of man-up and drive!! Approaching the stadium the crowds were manic, surrounding the car and trying to wave us into different 'parking spots'...I say parking spots...hill verges, clamping zones, pavements, back gardens - they tried to beckon us into them all!! Eventually finding a relatively safe parking space next to some similarly priced cars we paid our dues to the 'security' (/muggers - we later found out that they overcharged us by over 20x - such tourists!!) and headed to the game. This certainly wasn't the most friendly area in the world - in rugby gear and Ralph Lauren shorts we were hardly blending in either!! But we joined a large crowd and made it safely into the stadium. 30 rand (£1.50) a ticket - not bad for premiership rugby eh?!! And what was this...we found some Cardiff friends in the same stand! This was going to be class!!
The atmosphere was electric...LIONS...LIONS!! Just behind the home posts we were
at the heart of the home crowd, but with away supporters mixed in as well, chants and banter were flying left right and centre!! The fans were crazy passionate and hard as nails...but it didn't stop them from dancing around to the game-themed pop tunes!! Gloria Gaynors 'I will survive' roared around the stadium as the lions narrowly escaped a try attempt! After a sloppy game by the stormers and a fantastic 23-10 win to the lions. Car safe (cheers legit security team!) and full of killer boerstoch hotdogs we were done. Cracking first day in Joberg!!
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Muma G
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So glad to 'Read all about it! ' What an amazing start to your adventure. Thanks Jimi x