Dubai: So this is awkward - we're in a recession you know

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After a really chilled afternoon of iced coffees and relaxation on the rooftop pool, I looked out over Dubai's hazy skyline and felt ready to give it another chance. Maybe I'd been too harsh? So it was with a renewed open mind that Sophie and I headed out for the evening.

That optimism lasted about seven minutes before Dubai let itself down again. Having spent the majority of my adult life in London, you could say the sensibilities of using public transport are somewhat hard wired into me. But even for those not used to the courtesies of the tube could recognise the utterly baffling means of getting on an and off the Dubai metro: Push.



I'm not talking about a bit of jostling, or even some mild shoving. I've been on enough metros to know that they're not all as civilised as the tube. But Dubai is in another league. It is an outright 'push of war' between those wanting to get off the train, and those wanting to get on.



I have seen grown men step on pushchairs in order to beat a mother and child onto the train, and people take running jumps at the doors. It's a ridiculous situation. If people were to stand to one side and let everyone off before boarding, or even just get on/off from a particular side of the door, everyone would get off and on with ease. Instead you get these pitch battles between those getting on and off, and complete inertia at times.



Our plan had been to get off the metro on the Deira side of Dubai creek, and ride an Abra - a local water taxi for 1Dh (17p) - across to the other side, Bur (Old) Dubai. However, in one of these metro frenzies, Soph and I had become separated, and she hadn't been able to get off at our stop. Naturally, standard 'tube separation operating procedure (TSOP)' immediately kicked in, and it was with frantic hand gestures that we agreed to meet on the next station platform. However that next station was now the Bur Dubai side of the creek, and neither of us could be bothered to ride the metro back, only to cross over by different, albeit exotic means.



After the customary half hour walk along busy highways, we did eventually come to the narrow back streets we had hoped to find in Bur Dubai. There we ate Indian street food and explored the Old Souk. It was really pleasant, and by the time we had disembarked from a fantastic Abra ride back across the Creek in the reverse direction to which we had originally intended, the mishap on the metro seemed a long time ago.



With the night still young, we fancied some further exploration. Unfortunately, that exploration did not prove as rewarding as the evening had been up to that point.



I touched on this in the last blog, but Dubai's long, thin layout really is deceptive. In my mind, I had expected Skyscrapers fronting onto the beach, separated by a big beach road. Gold Coast, Australia but on a larger scale for those of you familiar with Down Under. The reality is quite different. The much pictured avenue of skyscrapers - Sheikh Zayed road - is actually 3km from the beachfront. Those 3km are made up of dark, residential blocks before you get to a featureless beach road, and the beach itself. Call me English, but the place is longing for a promenade of some sort: a place to stroll, grab a (non-alcoholic) drink and a bite to eat in sight of the beach.



Sophie and I plied the immensely long Jumeirah beach front, looking for some hive of activity, to no avail. Having hopped on and off buses, we eventually reached the iconic Burj Al-Arab, the self proclaimed 7* hotel which itself is much further from Dubai's central cluster than the uninitiated may realise. I was surprised it wasn't lit up at night, but as you can't get particularly close to it anyway, perhaps that is no surprise.



From the Burj onwards, the beach road effectively becomes the M6 with a pavement, and you're separated from the beach by the walled entrances to the luxury Jumeirah resorts. For the benefit of the Dubai fanboys & girls out there, I have no doubt that if you're staying in one of these resorts you may think Dubai is the best thing since daddy bought you a pony. But from my position, stuck between the 6 lane highway and your walled compound, and unable to even get a beer, it's a much harder sell.



Like kids trying to find a party we hadn't been invited to (story of my life), we pressed on down the coast. Another 15 minute bus ride later, the walled resorts gave way to technology parks which finally gave way to another skyscraper cluster. I thought for a minute we'd actually ridden the bus all the way into Abu Dhabi. In fact this was Dubai marina, a more recent development housing the Grosvenor and Ritz Carlton hotels. Again my mental image of Dubai had been confounded by the existence of this second cluster, so far from downtown Dubai. I'd read about Dubai marina, I just hadn't expected it to be 45+ minutes down the coastline.



At this stage, Sophie and I had gone well over an hour without seeing another human being not encased by a vehicle. We'd began this stage of the night hoping for a nice beachside walk and perhaps a refreshment. Instead we'd got to the point where a bloke buying a pasty at a petrol station would have been a situation with more coastal ambience than we were experiencing. Surely the marina would provide what we were looking for?



Well not really, no. Between the behemoth concrete hotels that form the Jumeirah Beach Residences at the marina, we found a nicely lit 100m avenue of shops (the JBR Walk). However, refreshment options were really limited to coffee shops, of which we had a far nicer version in our hotel reception. Furthermore, there would have been more people and atmosphere at our hotel reception. The JBR walk most definitely wasn't where Dubai's missing visitors were hanging out without us.



It was wearily, but with a wry smile that we started the long journey, this time by metro, back up the Dubai coastline.



If it's not the coastal walks, the friendly locals, the beautiful setting, the agreeable temperature or the great value that draws people to Dubai, it must be the beach right?

I think we know the answer to that. We had a nice time at the beach on the morning of our final full day in the Gulf. The water was warm, bordering on azure, there were fish, and the sand was smooth, but I think even Dubai's biggest fan would admit its beaches aren't in the same league as those of south east Asia.



After coming back and sunning ourselves at the pool for a bit it was time for what I hoped would be my highlight of Dubai. The Burj Khalifa, at over 800m tall is the tallest building in the world by a considerable distance. For a hundred years or so, the tallest building crown has been passed around every decade with each new tallest building making marginal height gains on the last. The Burj Khalifa comes along and adds a cheeky third to the previous tallest building, the Tapei 101. In many ways it is a symbol Dubai's explosive expansion. It could also be said that it is a symbol of much of what is unsustainable with that expansion, but as a real fan of tall buildings, I'm loathe to criticise it.



It is hard to describe how truly huge a building it is. Suffice to say it is getting on for three times as tall as the Shard in London. In a not dissimilar manner to the Shard, it has an aggressive beauty, and rises like a razor sharp needle that is visible from just about all angles in Dubai.



For most visitors, the fact that its viewing platform is not the highest viewing platform in the world will come as a bit of a disappointment. However, as Sophie and I will be in Shanghai, home of the highest viewing platform in about a fortnight, I felt a bit smug was we were whisked just over halfway up the tower by high-speed lifts.



Despite the haze, the view from the viewing platform was suitably impressive. All the more so as I'd booked us in for sunset, so we were able to see Dubai's quick transition from night to day. Looking down on the streets below also highlighted how Dubai really isn't a place for those without four wheels.
My camera, tripod and I could have spent much longer up there trying to get the perfect long exposure shot, but in the interest of Soph's sanity we headed down into Dubai Mall for a bite to eat and a walk around.



Dubai Mall is a ridiculous place. Apart from being the world's biggest shopping centre, annexed to the world's biggest building, containing the world's biggest aquarium, boasting the world's biggest fountain, being palacially appointed, and having an ice rink, it's just like the Mander Centre.



Both Sophie and I thought it was all a bit excessive. I can live with a superficial vanity project when it leads to an engineering marvel such as the Burj Khalifa. But when it comes to a mall, I'm not sure. We're anything but anti-captalists, but something didn't quite sit right with either of us. It may actually be that much of Dubai has no capitalist justification. It has been built by Sovereign cash in a bid to impress. But there is something more impressive about infrastructure projects born out of necessity, not vanity.



I also put it like this to Sophie: just at a time when the west is doing a fair bit of hand-wringing about levels of consumption and sustainability, Dubai has come along, built super-havens of over-consumption and insustainability as if it's 1996. It has come bounding over to the west like a well-meaning big shaggy dog with a dead rat. I feel like saying "well this is awkward, don't you know there's a recession?"



I'll give it it's dues, it was finally a place to have a pleasant evening stroll, but three days of searching, and the answer was just the mall all along.



So that's Dubai. If someone wants to pay for me to stay in the Burj Al-Arab I'll be back in a flash. But give me a backpack and a passport full of eastern visa stamps anyday.

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Photos

My View
Most of today's blog was written from the fantastically comfortable Emirates A380 from Dubai to Hong Kong. The rambling nature of the blog gives away the flight time I had to kill, and the amount of free gin and tonics we'd had.

Comments

[Wisam]

Very nice piece
I am a resident of Dubai and have been around a bit You summarized Dubai's experience quite well.