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Published: April 19th 2006
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Jughead Update
I have been reliably informed by my brother that my “Jughead” research (in my 2nd to last blog) is a little dated. Apparently, it was remiss of me to neglect the phrase “Areet clacker” (Transl. how you doing mate? - which is the more contemporary substitute for “areet yuth”: Transl. How you doing youth? - although it could be that my brother is no longer to be considered a yuth, and in fact more of a clacker). I’m going with that theory. That probably also explains the other phrase I apparently excluded - “Me n mar messees” (the wife and I) which is perhaps more a reflection of the stage at which we are in life, rather than any great jughead vocabulary revolution.
Let us move on…
Auckland
On Good Friday, after my meeting at Timaru Cathedral (sorry dad, not for the stations of the cross) with the Director of NZ RFU referee coaching (the cathedral was merely the meeting point - if I can't find the Catholic Cathedral in the centre of town on Good Friday, what kind of Christian/human am I?) to tout for some work (usual “not enough budget” response) I continued the drive north
Piha
Piha beach from the dead famous TV show!! to Christchurch, before flying to Auckland to meet my buddy Ken.
Ken’s place is beautifully located in the rainforest. The wildlife includes wood pigeons (see photo), tui (like a gnarly coloured black bird - bit of a crap description, but I havent seen one yet, so working from Ken's description & also working on getting the photo), and the bay it overlooks is a breeding ground for great whites. You can imagine I was gutted to hear that there are no waves in the harbour, so it would be pointless surfing there.
Pointless and foolhardy, and although most of you probably think those words are good descriptors for me, in this instance I was not going to be tempted to paddle in the bay. That blog will have to wait.
So on Saturday morning we took off to Piha the famous north island beach break - home of the Kiwi blockbuster show “Piha Rescue” (probably New Zealand’s best home grown TV show, I mean
'only' home grown show, hence it is also their 'worst') where these ‘spunky’ lifeguards patrol the beach waiting for the Tasman rips to catch hold of some unsuspecting tourists. The only rips I saw
Kiwi Baseball team
Ken, as well as being a talented baseball catcher, runs his own business importing US sporting goods to NZ, as there's such a poor supply out here. were in my pants as I saw the size of the swell. Oh, and the surfers ripping up a series of overhead barrels. Thats big tubular waves before I get inundated with questions (yeah the emails are relentless).
It's all Black & White
In the afternoon we left to go and see the New Zealand baseball team take on a bunch of touring teams from Australila. The kiwi's obsession with their black flag with the silver/white fern (which I would not mock of itself ) has led to (now this is where the ridicule comes) their naming of all their national teams - "The All Blacks" (rugby, we all know that, and I guess that's fair enough) "The Silver Ferns" (netball, ok i guess), the "Black Sticks" (both mens and ladies I think, hockey, again, ok I guess) the "Black Caps" (cricket, stretching the point really) the "Tall Blacks" (com'on you're definitely milking it now) the "All Whites" (soccer, yeah, yeah, blah, blah), the "Tall Ferns" (ladies basketball, getting ridiculous now) the "Iron Blacks" (gridiron, US footy - mmmmm) and wait for it... the "Black Cocks" (badminton, you have got to be kidding!!). Ok, so I think I maybe
Kiwi Baseball team2
The kiwi's go down to an Aussie regional team. made that last one up, but I can't think what else you'd call them?
Trivia Question
Now then, so here's your trivia question for next time. What is the name of the New Zealand national baseball team?
- (A) the Black Socks
- (B) the Black Bats
- (C) the White Socks
- (D) the Diamond Blacks, or
- (E) the Black Mits
The first correct answer will receive a traditional kiwi gift (yep, seriously) to the value of up to NZ$10 and a mention on my next blog (worth in reality about 10 times as much as the kiwi gift).
Easter Sunday
I spent Easter Sunday lying on my back reading my book, eating chocolate, watching TV, drinking tea, eating fresh fish and playing with Floyd the dog. The furthest I got from the couch was to the kettle and the fridge, oh and a brief minute out onto the deck to photograph a wood pigeon - that looks nothing like the English wood pigeon but is in fact much bigger and more colourful, and apparently in this case worth getting off my ass for. In fact, to my memory - despite having rather
Wood pigeon
Biggest wood pigeon i ever saw!! a luxurious lifestyle out here, this was the first whole day I’d spent indoors. Even Christmas day involved a 40-minute walk. Nevertheless, it actually felt good to be a slob and I think I’ve discovered a new talent that I have been perfecting rather admirably since then too. I must go for a run tomorrow, before it's too late and all I can do is roll.
Today, Wednesday I had a meeting with netball NZ, again in search of some consultancy work. The meeting was very positive and although it’s early days, I think there’s a reasonable chance that something may come of it. Now, under normal circumstances, the prospect of working with a group of netballers has a rather pleasant appeal, and this appeal brings a range of connotations far removed from those I encountered in my work with rugby, however I have to keep reminding myself that this particular client group of
'netballers' are unlikely to be 21 years old, slender, single, athletic and bendy, free of varicose veins and free of the characteristics of hospital matrons from the
Carry On Series (yep, Hattie Jakes springs to mind). Let’s just hope that netball NZ doesn’t get wind
Piha2
Lion's rock - splitting Piha beach. of this blog site, or the job’s over before it’s begun.
And, as for the Master’s Games story. Well, let’s just say my judgment was clouded by my experiences at BUSA (British University Sports Association) and BUGS (British University Games) volleyball tournaments, where after we’d finished our games we'd find a nice courtside spot to scout some of the girls games (Really, I don't need to explain what I mean by "scout," do I?). So, after finishing our Masters soccer games for the day, I tried to encourage my friend Jia Yi to come and watch some beach volleyball (ladies beach volleyball, for the obvious reasons). I'm not sure his response actually went through central processing, as it was quicker than one of his dives on the pitch (he's not a goalkeeper, or a prostitute, but he goes down like a... I've gotta be careful what I say, this is a family blog site, he goes down like a... like a... whores draws? ... hey come on, it could have been MUCH WORSE) Anyway, his sharp response was something like - "what are you expecting to see?," accompanied by a grimaced frown. Unfortunately, my reaction most definitely did go
through my central processor and it took me a while to shake the image (I know I'm a sport psychologist but mental imagery is overrated) as unfortunately the realisation that this was not a student tournament, but the over 35's (at best) Masters Games, where women jumping around in bikinis - aah, the image is back!! Argh!! Well you get the idea, as did I, accompanied with a grimaced frown, just like Jia Yi's and then a sudden loss of enthusiasm for taking in some of the other games.
Sorry, as usual I've spent most of the blog talking about things in my head that probably should remain there. But, in summary, the pictures tell the story of (the first part of) my trip to Auckland. Great scenery, great beaches, good company, bit of work touting, and plenty of time to kick back. Happy days.
Next Blog
Next time, as I'm up here to visit the US consulate to obtain my US visa (and also staying with my New Yorker friend) I'm planning a wee blog on the US v UK, mainly because I think it's a great subject area, but largely because it gives me great
Ken, Floyd & Musk
Floyd: AKA Beany - as trusty and faithful as a whitehouse politician. pleasure ribbing on the yanks.
Keep the Comments coming, it makes me appear popular, though please realise I only publish those that don't incriminate me - Steve.
Until next time...
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Helen RIches
non-member comment
Standing up for women over 35!
Dearest Favourite cousin I am thoroughly enjoying your blog, and I even understand some of it ( and I really really like the piccies), but I feel you have twice maligned women of a certain age as I am now in that catergory I must chastise you ( mildly-lets not get carried away here!) We have alot to offer and frankly my dear, despite your rather desperate and ultimately futile attempts to appear otherwise - you're no spring chicken! Love Helen x