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Published: March 19th 2006
Big Cock/Big Clock
Baz hangs with Ben and counts down the minutes until losing provisional status.Divola Hitches His Wagon To The Buster's Star
So here it is - Barry's final attempt to lose his provisional status. It makes for very
interesting reading. Do you all remember his endless little snide comments at the bottom of all my blogs? Do you also recall his constant claims of bar hopping to sunrise accompanied by 20 year old female singers of indie bands while rubbing shoulders with the rich and the famous? I don't see much evidence of that here. Instead I see a lonely bloke revisiting the sites of his youth in a transparent attempt to curry favour with the G1 committee. And look at that photo count - London 9, New York 3. I wonder if he actually spent more than a day in the Big Apple? Look, I don't want to be the first one to mention the phrase "Mid-Life Crisis" but, really...
Anyway, I've decided to leave it to you, faithful readers, to decide if Baz gets his upgrade. Use the comments box below to leave your decision and the reason why. And don't let that spelling mistake from Sydney's top pop/rock journo sway your opinion. For now, though, please enjoy:
My Trip
Kingly
The international success of Searching For Kingly Critter is acknowledged by the city of London naming one of its major roads after this fine book, soon to be a major motion picture starring Topher Grace of That 70s Show as the author. by BCG7(prov)D
Just as what separates humans from the more lowly primates is the opposable thumb, what separates the G1 from other grades is his ability to travel anywhere, restored or unrestored, with a finger constantly poised over the shutter button on a digital camera. Being a mere G7 (prov.) I don’t even own such a remarkable machine, and indeed, even in the past I have seldom carried a regular box brownie or Kodak Instamatic with me, preferring instead a meticulously kept journal, a sketchbook with charcoals, watercolours and brushes of varying diameter, and of course, something I’ve learned well from the fine example of the G1s - an ability to exaggerate stories so that I look more daring, dangerous, adventurous and sexually alluring than I actually am.
On this latest adventure, which I hasten to add for the benefit of buster regrading board members, came a mere three months after spending four weeks in the city that never sleeps and is often drunk, I managed to purloin an image-making machine from kindly locals John Cobbin and Maryanne Slavich (both ungraded at this time).
Unfortunately, being of lower buster standing, I frequently forgot to take the thing out
of its case, often because I was feverishly sketching a pre-dawn scene in a dive bar on the lower east side, or typing an ode to a runway model who was sweetly slumbering beside me after a night of torrid lovemaking.
When I did think to do things the G1 way, I was often alone, and had to break the number one rule of G1 photography - always make sure you are in the photograph. And when I did manage to convince someone to take the photo, they inevitably turned out to be mentally deficient when it came to pointing the camera at said G7 (prov.) and depressing the button. The result is many pics that look like Cure album covers from the 1980s.
Still, here for your edicification is a small portfolio of images which forms the basis of my submission to the regrading comittee.
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Robyn
non-member comment
Sorry Bazzie, I have to say that you are not GI material- you are far too witty to be one.