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Published: January 25th 2010
His Story: Elyse and I had been discussing getting married for a while and we were even looking at venues before I popped the question. The reason why I say we did not get married before leaving for China was because I wanted to get married in 2010; I just liked the way it sounded better than 2009.
Several weeks prior to our departure for Asia on our Adios America Tour, which many of you took part in the festivities, we visited Elyse’s family in Illinois. I had long believed that asking her father John for his blessing was the proper thing to do; plus Elyse would really appreciate the gesture. It somehow made it seem more official. Well after several missed opportunities to speak with John I figured a great time would be at the Cubs game that Peggy, Elyse, John, and I were to attend just before we left the state.
During the fourth or fifth inning I had asked John to grab a beer with me. He said he wasn’t thirsty. I insisted that he at least join me while I got one for myself, since I needed to build up my nerve. He once again declined the offer. I knew that this was my last chance to speak with him before we left for China.
Fast forward about six months later. Elyse had heard of my failed attempt to speak with her father. I told her that I would speak with him when we saw them in Australia. I for whatever reason placed a lot of pressure on myself to ask her when she didn’t expect it as well as in a creative manner. This plan seemed to eliminate the surprise factor. I decided that I couldn’t wait until Australia.
As we sat casually in our Apartment in Longgang I mentioned that I didn’t have her parents phone number and that it would be good if I had it in my Skype contacts. After receiving the needed information I placed the call a few days later. Initially I got Peggy and asked her to turn on Skype. A few moments later I got Peggy on video chat. I thanked her for the call and told her that I had some man business to discuss with John. As he sat down in front of the monitor Peggy told him “put on you big boy pants”. I replied that it was I that needed my big boy pants”
I explained that Elyse and I had been dating for a while and that she was the best thing ever to happen to me. I love her and want to ask her to be my wife. I explained that it was important to Elyse that we get your blessing. I even mentioned to John the failed attempt at the Cubs game. John said that we had his blessing. Peggy chimed in from the background and said that we had her blessing as well. We said our goodbyes and I felt a huge relief afterwards. It was a lot easier than I thought, it was clear that I had made a mountain from a mole hill.
I had been telling Elyse for months that she shouldn’t expect a ring while we traveling throughout SE Asia. I didn’t want to put a target on us while trekking through some of the most impoverished countries in the world. In the future when we were back in the US I would buy her a ring. As I explained my logic to the people that asked if we would be getting married soon, the males thought about it and agreed that my thinking was rational and wise, thus strengthening my position with Elyse that I was a strong and noble choice for a husband and provider. We all know that women tend to act on emotion and feelings rather than logic and facts. So hearing my case for not purchasing a ring while in Asia may have strengthened their position that I am not romantic, or quite possibly even a jack-ass. I felt that a compromise must be made; one that would say that I am not only manly and practical, but romantic and charming. An interim ring purchased in China would be my solution.
One afternoon Elyse was not feeling well and I had let her know that I was going out to get some groceries. I used this time to look at rings at the local department stores a few blocks from our home. I had to visit a few jewelry counters before I found one that I felt would be acceptable. I came home and hid the ring in the spare bedroom.
I had made reservations at a fancy hotel in Kowloon that overlooked Hong Kong Island. I also had made arrangements to have champagne and strawberries in our room before our check in. I knew that I would have to lay the groundwork prior to heading to Hong Kong so that it made sense that we were checking out this hotel. I told Elyse that my buddy Alex told me that the hotels near the water had some really big discounts during the week.
As we got ready to leave Longgang I positioned the ring case in my pockets, but it was too noticeable. I left the box at home and ventured to Hong Kong with just the ring in my pocket. After we arrived at our stop in Hong Kong I directed her and I to the Hotel. I told her to wait outside with our bags while I ran into to check prices. I stood nervously in line while I waited for someone to check me in. In standard fashion I didn’t print our any reservation number. I called the hotel three times to confirm that the room was booked and faced the island. Three separate times I was assured everything would be ready. I was in disbelief that they moron behind the counter couldn’t pull up my reservation. I explained to him how I was supposed to be proposing to my girlfriend and that I had made the reservation over a week ago.
It was then pointed out that there was another Intercontinental on the same street 5 minutes down the road. He called the other hotel to find out if that was where we were staying. After hanging up the phone he said “I think that you may have your reservation at the other property”. What? Even more nervous now and tense I asked, “Well, do I or do I not have my reservation there?” I got the conformation.
I headed out to meet Elyse and told her that this one was too expensive and that the good deals were down the road. She began to get frustrated and questioned why I wanted to spend so much money before we were going to Australia. We took a cab to the correct location. Elyse sat in the hotel lobby near the bar while I arrived at the reception counter and provided my passport. I signed all the paperwork and then was asked for Elyse’s passport. I had to think quick and told her that they would allow us to view a room but we needed to show our passports.
We got the keys and headed up to the 11th floor. Opening the door the room had large windows that overlooked Hong Kong Island. Elyse saw the strawberries and Champagne and said “Don’t Touch that, it looks expensive!” I told Elyse that it was perfect and wanted to stay here. I told her to sit down and take in the view. She sat at a chair near the window and placed her bag at her feet. I approached her and tried to slide the bag out of the way. I guess I was a little nervous and actually kicked the bag.
Elyse shouted “Why are you kicking my bag? Why are you acting all weird?”
“Because” I responded as I pulled out the ring and got on to one knee. “I am nervous because I am going to ask you to be my wife”. Elyse began to cry and I said “Elyse I love you and can’t imagine living without you. I want you to be in my life forever. Will you marry me?”
I am pretty sure that her first response was thank you or something. Then she said “yes” I pulled up a chair and said that we had to eat the strawberries since they’ve already been paid for. At this point it was clear she still didn’t know that the room had already been reserved by me. We popped open the champagne and toasted “to us”. We sat close and sipped from our glasses as we feed each other strawberries.
For those of you that are in the know, in closing I’ll take a quote from Hannibal Smith, colonel of the A-Team; “I love it when a plan comes together.”
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Sarah
non-member comment
Way to go PETE!!