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Published: December 23rd 2008
OK so here it is people, my final ever blog! I’m not actually heading home just yet, in fact I still haven’t booked a flight, but wanted to write it and say my goodbye’s and thank you’s before I jump on the big bird in the sky. I shall try not to overdose on the sentimentality and be too soppy but it’s a truly weird mixture of feelings as I sit here and try to sum up the last 703 days (and counting!). But before we get on to that, I shall just give a brief summary of the final leg of the tour in the States and also fill you in on some of the very dodgy and menacing moments of my time away.
East Coast US So first thing to report about this leg was that it was done solo. Chris decided to fly to Glasgow as his favourite band were playing a few gigs there, and to top it off he went via Rome-and am pleased to report he enjoyed it immensely. Anyway, this therefore left me on my lonesome, not an unnatural state of affairs for me remember and in a way it was
rather ironic, I started alone and am now finishing it alone so it was kinda fitting. Due to time and money restrictions I only headed to 3 stops on the coast, Miami, Washington D.C and New York. Miami was a frustrating time for me, to cut a long story short my cards failed on me and I had no cash whilst my money was internet banked, so had to spend 6 nights there with only the very limited cash in my pockets. I realize your heart will not bleed for me at being stuck there, but if its any consolation the weather was shocking, so I spent 6 days in a hostel staring at the walls and TV, with not even enough cash to buy a book to read or an ipod charger (mine broke). Eventually it cleared and I was a very relieved man heading to DC.
I really enjoyed DC, it was only a whistlestop tour there of not even 48hours, but I managed to take in all the sites and tick all the touristy boxes. It was easy to walk around and navigate and despite being freezing cold was nice and clean and compact at least. I
spent a long 8 hours checking it all out, mainly in the Washington Mall which houses the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, reflecting pool, several war memorials, Capitol Hill and the Senate House. I also checked out the White House but sadly Georgie boy wasn’t around to chat to. I even got a bit cultured and went to two museums, the Natural History and Air & Space, both impressing me. It was really cool and surreal to see all the places you have seen on TV a million times, everything is so iconic that you feel you have seen it before, and also slightly underwhelming, lots of things like the White House were a lot smaller that I saw in my minds eye before going, but I still enjoyed them all.
To top it off, there was the finale, the old girl New York, and she impressed me too. Again, I was total tourist cliché and would have put a Japanese coach touch packed with Nikon cameras to shame. In no particular order, I checked out the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, Wall Street, Ground Zero, Times Square, Grand Central Station, Rockefeller Centre and Central Park as well
as some suburbs like Greenwich Village, Hells Kitchen and Harlem. Nothing disappointed and all was enveloped (go me, great word!)in a wonderful blanket of snow, everything was lit up and very Christmassy so it was a perfect ending really. To top it off I even had my own tour guide, I met up again with Raffy-who me and Chris had met in Vegas, and she gave up a lot of time and energy, not to mention walking around in the freezing cold, to show me the sites and be a very (un)knowledgeable tour guide so massive thanks to her. I also got to have a reunion with Jacin, an American girl me and Dave met 5 years ago when we toured Australia so that was also surreal but brilliant to do and we had a laugh as usual. And so that’s it, New York is the final stop of the trip after 21 countries, 4 continents and lots of great times, although along the way there were some worrying times, so lets get to them as there are some great stories..
Menacing moments Now first up let me say that I am typing this, so am therefore obviously fine(granted
I could be Steven Hawking-esque and typing this by blinking my right eye or something but I assure you I am not). I have waited until now to tell the dodgy moments in order to save the parents from heart palpitations, so mother, deep breaths-remember throughout that I survived all I am about to detail!! Although the irony of something happening to me now on the way home etc is not lost on me! So to put it bluntly, over the course of my trip I have survived a few muggings, or I should say attempted muggings anyway. The first two incidents happened in Central America and were 3 days apart, so it’s fair to say I’ve had better weeks.
The first was totally my own fault and if nothing else gave me the kick up the ass I needed to stop being so blasé about things, surviving 18months on my own without incident left me feeling a bit untouchable I think. Me, Chris and Callum had just finished a long bus ride from Guatemala to Honduras, which was dubious enough in itself as a rock was thrown through one of the windows as we approached the capital Tegucigalpa.
We had been warned this place was dodgy anyway and planned on spending not even 12 hours there, arriving in at midnight and booking a bus for the following morning at 8am. However, as we had just crossed into another country we had no Honduran money and the hotel guy wouldn’t let us pay the next day or on our cards. The taxi was still outside and I earlier spotted an ATM one street across so without really thinking I told the boys I’d nip to the cashpoint and get some money and be back in no time, it was only as I approached the ATM that I started thinking this may not be the best idea, and it was around this time that the boys at the hotel also started thinking the same. As I got out of the taxi and entered the building I spotted 4 guys on the corner, and stupidly resisted the initial urge to run like the wind. After getting my cash and heading back to the taxi I was confused to find the engine off and back door locked, I looked in the front window and sure enough the taxi driver was nowhere to
be seen….being the on the ball clever guy that I am I started thinking at this point that something wasn’t quite right. As I tried to open the front door someone from behind grabbed my wrist..Ok that definitely wasn’t right..as I spun around my other wrist was grabbed by another guy..whilst a third tried to start fiddling through my pockets…yeh this definitely dosen’t feel right-I hadn’t paid for it or anything. What ensued only took about 10 seconds tops, but seemed like a lifetime. Fairly cleverly I had cargo shorts on, and had my real wallet full of money and my cards in the bottom pocket, but in my normal pocket was a fake spare wallet containing only a few dollars, some old Thai notes and old hostel cards etc(a clever trick someone advised me of once). I was therefore struggling and screaming at them to say they could take my wallet and trying to direct them to my pocket, and they were screaming at me, of course none of us understood the other and the result was a few punches in my direction. Thankfully I managed to force my hand down and pull the fake wallet out and throw
it away, the 3 of them were like vultures and all dived for it and ran off, the only slight downside being the fact as they let go of me one grabbed my mobile. So folks sorry but I didn’t lose it on a bus, it was nicked from me! In a slight daze I turned around to see the driver running back from around the corner apoligising and saying they made him leave (I still haven’t decided if he was in on it or not). Just to top it off there was the bizarre sight of an (at least) 60 year old guy running across the road with a massive knife in his hand in the direction of the 3 guys, again I have no idea if he was going after them to help me or to rob them of the stuff for himself. Regardless, I jumped in the taxi and off we sped literally wheels spinning and smoke pouring as he flew back to the hotel. I was shaken but ultimately lost just my mobile, a lucky escape and a good reminder of the dangers of travelling if nothing else because on reflection heading to an ATM at
midnight in a dodgy city was probably not the smartest move.
I’d like to say it was lesson learnt, but the fact the next story took place 3 days later suggests that maybe we are as stupid as we look. This time we were in San Juan in Nicaragua, an otherwise lovely place where we had a great time. On the spur of the moment whilst walking around the town we decided to hire some quad bikes, and so set off and had a great day ploughing through a forest and splashing through rivers, muddy paths and puddles etc. We passed lots of locals and it was a fairly well worn path other quad bikers have taken too. At one stage we passed three guys but thought nothing of it.. Eventually we got to a part of the track which we could not pass and I was at the front and got stuck in the mud, literally. After a while of pulling the quad out we turned around and headed for home, and that’s when the fun began…Callum was leading, Chris in the middle and me at the back having just rescued the quad, and it was this stroke
of luck that helped me escape. As we slowed to try and cross another river a guy appeared out of the bushes with a bandana covering his face holding what I thought was a knife..at the same time a guy pulled out about level with Chris definitely holding a knife, and I must have had the special needs kid at the back as he was only allowed to carry a big rock..Now this wasn’t my bravest moment and I suffer from no illusions in trying to be a hero, but my first and last thought was immediately “No fu**ing way, not again!” and I promptly floored the quad and tried to get the hell out of Dodge. It was at the point when I was scorching past Callum that I noticed the guy at the front pointing his GUN at me, not the smartest move Michael. All I could do was smash through the river, hold my breath and hope to God the guy wasn’t about to shoot me in the back. Maybe it wasn’t a real gun, maybe he just decided against shooting or maybe he is really cock eyed, but either way I got away with it and
made the other side. I waited there and surveyed the scene, a surreal sight seeing Callum and Chris with their arms in the air whilst a gun, knife and umm big pebble, were pointed at them. I contemplated a Bruce Willis/John Wayne return and rescue but instead bottled it and waited to see if they would take the quads and so need me as taxi. In the end the boys lost a camera each, a video camera and a fair bit of money. The robbers initially took Chris’ cards too but he gave them the puppy dog face and they took pity and handed the cards over giving him a pat on the back-like they were doing him a favour! Lovely guys really see. We regrouped and calmed down, Callum helping by leaning across David Brent style and saying “I’ve got the last laugh really, that battery only has 30minutes life left..”, we all had a good joke and relaxed, it was all we could do really. As a random finale to the story the police were then the most incompetent on the planet when we went to make the report. Their solution was to lock and load basically, they
asked where it happened and then put us in the back of a truck, where we were joined by 4 policemen, 2 packing shotguns and 2 normal guns as we headed off to find them, oh and they didn’t speak a word of English. We were basically praying that we didn’t find them again as none of us had any desire to be in the middle of a shoutout! We needn’t have worried as they were more Keystone Cops than anything, whilst they drive us around the driver had his ipod pumping, was beeping at hot women they passed and at one stage he even lent back and manned the pedals whilst the work apprentice style policeman in the passenger seat lent across and steered for a while, I don’t think professionalism is top priority in their robbery cases. Ultimately though we survived intact and without being shot, always a bonus.
Finally, the more boring of the lot, whilst on my own in Bolivia I arrived at 5am after a 12 hour bus ride sleepy and with slight altitude sickness. I put my day bag on the floor while I picked up my backpack and some guy just ran
along, picked up the day bag and ran off! Luckily I just saw it happen and shouted at him and gave chase, so he bottled it(well you would with a 4 foot Welshmen screaming at you) dropping the bag and running off so I got it back, result. The final bit of sketchy times was me and Chris witnessing a barroom brawl in LA where a guy was stabbed (we are pretty sure-we didn’t stick around to find out!) to death, so that was a fun night out too! So overall a few incidents to tell but nothing to worry about apart from a lost mobile and some stories to tell, besides as a guy once said:
I believe in getting into hot water, it helps cleans you clean. G.K Chesterton
The End And now, the end is near, And so I face the final curtain, sorry it’s hard not to sing Sinatra when you are here. Not really too sure how to sum up 2 of the best years of my life, I scanned back through my old blogs before writing this and it’s crazy at just how much I have achieved and seen during my time. I’ve dived the Great Barrier Reef, sailed the Whitsunday Islands, gained
by PADI in Koh Tao, trekked Chiang Mai, tubed Laos, saw Vietnam and its war remnants, Angkor Wat and the Killing Fields in Cambodia, gazed at Niagara Falls, the Rockies, Grand Canyon, the Andes, Iguazu Falls, Lake Titicaca, Machu Picchu, Rio and now New York, and that’s just off the top of my head. I've included a load of pictures below (on 2 pages) to try and get the highlights but it was tricky. Overall, I have seen 21 countries, 4 continents, taken 23 flights, 76 buses, 10 ferries and 6 trains! In short, I’ve squeezed a lot in and not only that am amazingly proud of myself for surviving the first 18months all on my own. Aside from a burning desire to see a host of different places and avoid the realities and routine of daily life back home I also came away to exorcise some demons. When I first travelled back in 2004-5 I had recently split with the ex, and it’s fair to say I wasn’t in the right head space, pretty much ruining he 7 months I was away, and once again and this time publicly I want to apologise to my 3 amazing mates Homer,
Yank and Haines for putting up with me on that trip! It did open my eyes to a whole new world though and so knew I had to come away and do it again and do it right, and do as much as I possibly could. A few missing countries aside I feel I have done all I set out to achieve both geographically and also mentally, I’m not sure if I’ve changed massively and still think I’m the same old me (some of you will be disappointed at that!) but I’ve definitely grown up and changed for the better. Muhammad Ali himself said:
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life Well I realize it’s only been 2 years and not 30 but I feel that my time would have been wasted if I returned the same as when I left, I’ll let you decide which version you prefer!!
So finally I just wanted to give out a few thank you’s. Firstly, to all the people I have met along the way, it’s not a cop out but there are way too
many of you to name who have made my trip what it was, especially when I was on my own but I thank you unnamed people anyway. I have to mention my Irish contingent in Sydney though, including the Bondi Junction lot, Apartment 409 and my Wentworth Avenue girls, without you lot I would have been home a lot sooner and you made that 15months fly by. In Asia there were way too many people, but especially Nick my Thailand buddy for a month and his gammy legged friend Tom, plus Jade my travelling wife for 6weeks, can’t say enough about these people. Also, the Aussies in Banff and Callum in the Americas, amazing people who I can’t speak highly enough of, too many good times to mention. Finally of course, is my travelling partner and brother from another mother Chris. I’m so glad you came out mate and you made the last 5 months infinitely better, we have only known each other just over 3 years but people who meet us can’t believe it as we are so close and get on so well, in fact half the people assume we are gay, which is untrue, well apart from
that one time, but it doesn’t count when drunk right?! In all seriousness though thanks a lot mate, loving you bro.
Before I finally end this era I of course want to thank everybody back home who knows me, and also the many randoms who I know read this-to them I hope this blog has been some sort of help along the way, if you are planning a trip I urge you to do it, it’s life changing honestly. To all my friends back home, you know who you are, and especially the Barry Massive, thanks for being there for me from afar and I know you’ll be there when I’m back, I’m going to need you more than ever to fight off the post holiday depression, oh and thanks for having 25kids, 12 engagements, 3 holidays etc etc whilst I’ve been away! Finally, thanks to the family, always supportive of this trip and there for me when I need them, never more so than in the money department! I ran out of cash in San Francisco, and if my dad hadn’t lent me money at that point I’d have been home missing out on LA, Vegas, Central and South
America etc, I’m not sure they will ever understand exactly how much that meant to me and means but I thank you forever, I should be able to pay it back by about 2015, that OK?! So soon I will be home and hopefully I will survive, it was a interesting test of strength going away on my own for 2 years and I managed that, so I’m looking forward to seeing how I handle being back.
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
Nelson Mandela.
Thank you and goodnight, Happy Christmas and see you all soon people!
xx
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Sarah-Jane
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The last one! It's just sinking in, you're on your way home at last! What can i say? I've hated you being away so long, worried about you being damaged by muggers (and any other number of scary situations i've imagined you to be in!) and yet loved hearing about your adventures, the blogs have allowed us to share in some way this thrilling experience of a lifetime. Not wanting to appear too mushy or sentimental but i couldn't be happier knowing that you'll soon be back safe and sound. Much love as always Sarah-Jane xxxx