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Published: October 28th 2008
1) Schedule no more than an average of two lessons a day but somehow manage to put three identical lessons in a row on some days and no lessons at all on others.
2) Ensure that the ALT teaches the same identical lesson over 30 times in two months. Very occasionally invite the ALT to invent her own activities and then cancel them at the last minute.,
3) Ensure that the educational philosophy of the entire country is radically different to the one the ALT is used to but never ever explain why or attempt to discuss differences rationally.
4) When the ALT is present in the staff work room ensure that she is ignored completely however, just at the moment she’s about to relax make some intrusive personal comment or just start reading what’s on her computer screen.
5) Make the physical environment as uncomfortable as possible. Ensure the furniture is at least as old as she is and covered in a thick layer of grease and dirt. Make computers available but only in one cramped corner of the staffroom. Never ever clean the toilets. Do not provide soap, towels or warm water. Do not under any circumstances provide a comfortable, quiet area to relax in.
6) When the ALT comes to sign in to the school office in the mornings conduct a conversation about the ALT in Japanese making sure that she picks up enough words to realise it’s about her.
7) Provide nothing in the ALTs home language. Translate nothing.
8) If all this fails, get everyone to leave the room, lock the door and switch off the light ensuring that the ALT is still IN the room. This will make her feel especially welcome.
As you can see not loving the job, but when I feel really bad I just check the exchange rate, that ususally gets me smiling again!
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brokenALT
non-member comment
ALT
Sweat it not. Just imagine that everyone around you is a potato. Potatoes with arms and legs, moving around, sitting down, running through the halls, but a potato none the less. You'll find no end of mirth with this passive-aggressive picture in your head. There's very little more you can do, but if you need any advice, don't hesitate to ask me.