Black And Gold

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So we are having less and less comments on each of the blogs, Em has put this down to the fact that it is summer back there with you guys and that with the warmer air and care free attitude you have forgotten your poor friends on the other side of the world. Personally I think that the world has experienced a much quicker ice age, from the south of France up is a frozen wasteland of snow covered rock and all of you are blocks of frozen aqua. Only the fat ones have been able to survive without the steady source of nutrients, using their natural body stores to keep them warm. Funnily enough I seem to be getting a lot of emails from Dunc recently, mmmm?

But as the King said “Geez that burger hurt” and we will do the same, take the pain and continue to make sweet literal music. So here we go again, strap on those reading glasses, put down the latest copy of Heat magazine and get ready to have those funny bones touched in way that you didn’t think was possible.

New Zealand is the land of sheep, so we felt comfortable on our pre amble over on the flight. Just to enhance our comfort we thought that we would make use of the free alcohol and crack a couple open. A slight glimmer of panic came across the air steward’s face and he checked his watch, 8:30am, it was a bit early to start, but it is free so you feel obliged.

We landed in Auckland and tried to make our way to the queue of waiting taxis but found out that trying to enter into NZ is harder than finding a can of Stella in Jack’s fridge after a Xmas bash at no71. They are crazy for bugs, not like a typical anthropologist but anything that could possibly kill crops or rivers or life in general. So be aware any mass murdering nations, NZ is not an easy target to get to. They spotted our tendency to carry bugs early on and picked on a particularly pair of dirty boots to pull out from the line up. Em had her shoes inspected and cleaned by the immigration department, all you have to do is hand it to them and it comes back clean. I asked if they could take care of a couple of pair of shorts, a t-shirt and well soiled pair of briefs but they were far less forthcoming.

So after our interrogation we were out on the street and into the nearest transport. A mini van driven by a mad capped local. It seemed as you get these personalities in every country, in exactly the same line of work. For my sins and what turned out to be the health of my eardrums, I chose the accommodation. It was called Yaping House, based in Mt Eden and it provided free WiFi. The real clincher was that it was on the hill that featured on the U2 album cover ‘One Tree Hill’. However since that photo was taken a mad cap Maori guy has come along and cut the tree down, so now it is just called hill.

Auckland really looks a lot like home, or Cardiff if you reside amongst the smog. It has a very British feel to it, lots of tree lined streets and constant showers to feed them. It was often that Em and I would compare streets to places like Cyncoed Road or Roath. But don’t worry Vicky and Rich we did not see a Bertram style local, so the secret is still safe.

The reality was that our accommodation was the perfect house if you wanted to visit a nursing home, it had the same decor, the same furniture and for some reason, the same scent as well.

Our plan in Auckland was quite clear, spend some time checking the city out and getting the campervan sorted for the next eleven weeks. So with our tourist hat firmly applied we ventured into the city of sails and most of the sights. It has a busy shopping district, which Em took close to her heart quickly, and the usual tall buildings that attract visitors. The city took on an extra vibe for that weekend as it was the opener of the tri-nations rugby tournament and the game between Australia and New Zealand was being played at Eden Park. We mixed among the Gold shirts of the Aussies, just listening to their taunts to the Kiwi’s. Funnily enough most of the banter involved the good love of a woolly animal. It was not too different to the Saxons coming over the border around Six Nations time.

Back to our digs and the smell of cat urine, what a welcome it was. The only thing that was less appealing was the temperature of the room. It was freezing; to be honest the whole country was freezing. We had grown familiar to warmer climes, the feel of short trousers and the smell of cheap sunscreen. It was now back to damp walls, cold tiles on your feet and the constant worry that Smith was going to contract the man flu.

To combat this there was only one option, a trip to the wonderful world of The Warehouse. It is the NZ version of Peacocks but with less single mothers, prams and theft. Our mission was to get some warm clobber, to get the tan covered up but to do this I was going to have turn my back on fashion and hang up the title of Best Dressed Man in Cardiff 1999 - 2007. I bought long johns. There I said it, I feel a lot better now. Not just your traditional white either, but blue and the size for a child of seven. It has always been hard to dress the legs, width of a chicken with the length of a giraffe. My usual option is a pencil case.

Em was my trusted shopping partner and she picked up some thermals. We had a small fashion show back at the pad while we got some info on the vans for the quest that would conclude the next day.

We were topped up on the phone card and had an internet connection that was working as quickly as it took for Jen to work the video. But with a little persistence and the idea of playing each of the companies off against each other, we managed to wrap up the van situation quite quickly. For a grand total of £15 per day we had a Ford transit with rear heating, toilet and shower. The real steal was that we had no excess on the insurance so let me feel the fibre of your fabric.

The sun had decided to pop out for the afternoon proceedings, with no real grand plan we went into town and soaked up the atmosphere ready to watch the game. Now everyone has a different opinion on this, but who do you support. Or maybe do you stand there as a neutral and just watch for the love of the game. A certain friend of mine would say “Cheer those who are playing against England”, but with no such luck in this case, Em and I opted for the country that we were in.

So with our Silver Ferns partially covering the three feathers we sat at a bar in the middle of Auckalnd waiting for the game to start. After a few beverages the game started and the pub had filled up nicely. All Kiwis are rugby mad, I think they actually top the Welsh on that but then they don’t have such a successful football team to take their attention away. The game was tense with every oooh and arhh being met with the barman pulling another Steinlager. We actually picked up a random guy who was out watching the game waiting for his sister, who was at Eden Park watching it live. To celebrate the Kiwis winning the tequila was launched and the night took a sharp spiral soon after, a Japanese pilot would have been proud of the descent. We moved pubs to a Irish bar around the corner. It had the curse of live Gaelic music, so with our mental systems being dragged along the floor, there was only one thing to do, we started to Kayleigh…….. “I didn’t mean to say I’m sorry.” Funnily enough we lost our Kiwi friend soon after that moment but partied on into the night.

Hangovers are overrated, they have no fun and you just feel like someone has inserted a drip straight into your brain to bleed you dry. Well the morning after was no exception, just add freezing cold accommodation and the smell of cat urine, and it was what we were feeling. Em had contracted women flu, a strain of influenza that is not as strong as the one found in males but never the less very painful. I have to admit that the next 24 hours were not spent searching out a native Kiwi experience but just chilling (literally), watching the Bourne trilogy and trying to control Em’s sinus issues.

We woke the next day with brighter thoughts and pressing tasks, as it was pick the van up day. So with a preamble across town on a bus and then transferring to another eight wheeled vehicle we reached the depot. It was perfect, our own transport back again, giving us the ability to decide when and where we would travel next. After a brief briefing we were away, picking our bags up and then over the West Auckland beaches. Auckland is a cracking city, we saw it with bad weather in the winter and still had a great time.

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Comments

[Gaz Newberry]

Hey
Hey Stu, dont know why-but i recieved this blog from you for the first time. sounds like you guys are having a brill time. whats been the best place so far. All so different I bet Hope the rest of your travels go well Gaz P.S- I must be one of the fat ones living off my blubba!!!!

[mark ovenstone]

Moaning
As we are in the middle of the best heat wave this country has seen ,and the surf here is outstanding Stu. Dr salaries have trebled ,and the mortgage rate is rock bottom .Fuel prices are the cheapest in a decade ,we have all decided to keep it to ourselves .U did ask . However the outlook for Jan is very gloomy .

[lee ovenstone]

hi
sounds like you guys are having a ball .... hope you got over your woman flu emms and are continuing to get drunk .