Dreamy days on a sunny beach?

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Russell - So finally we have arrived in Phuket to lie on a beach and sunbathe. First thing - get to the beach. We are staying Phuket Town which is not on the coast and need to get a bus to the beach, so to the bus station we head. After asking a number of people where to find the bus to Kata beach someone finally points to a big blue bus with "Phuket-Kata-Karon" written down the side. Ah well, how were we to know?

We get on the bus and the driver doesn't seem that bothered about taking our money. "We go to the market first" OK, whatever and the bus heads off. When we get to the market the engine goes off. "We stay here for 20 mins or so" and the driver goes shopping. It seems that this is normal however as the buses generally go from the market not from the bus station! Confused - with local buses you will be. Most of them aren't even buses they are trucks with open trailer with seats on.

Finally we are on our way to Kata, but seem to completely miss it as the first beach we reach is clearly Karon. Turns out that the bus actually goes Phuket-Karon-Kata but we don't find that out until later.

First job find accommodation. "Hey, my friend, are you Swedish?" A big smiley man says as we get off the bus. "Er no, English" "Ah Lubbly Jubbly you want to buy a suit" and so it begins. If there is one thing Karon, indeed Phuket, has too many of - it's tailors. Karon is a seaside town about the size of Aberporth or Abersoch. It is certainly smaller than Saundersfoot but there is at least 40 tailors all on the street trying to get you to come and look at the wares. It gets very annoying. "Hello sir, you are a very handsome man." "I know" I reply as I whizz past. "He's only joking" Lins adds - cheers. Unfortunately the guy remembers me now so everytime we go past his shop "Ah you are the handsome man. Lubbly Jubbly. Want to buy a suit today?" I really want to tell them that Lubbly Jubbly is the catch phrase of a well known con man but I guess if I did that I would remove an important safety message to the unsuspecting tourist. One strap line I did like came from a tailor on a side street. We passed one tailor who shouted out "Hi there, are you Finnish?" (Do I look Scandinvanian by the way?) "No, English" "Ah, I'm from England." "Really!" we said as we passed by. The next tailor overheard and said "Hi there. I'm not from England but I went to Birmingham once. It's a horrible place" Sorry Jed, but he got no arguements from me!

Anyway we need accommodation and a scan around the local cheap hotels is a quick initiation into tourist pricing. The cheapest hotels at the beach are 50%!m(MISSING)ore expensive than the expensive hotel we have in Phuket Town. Eventually right at the bottom of a side street we find somewhere offering rooms for 600 baht. I ask to see the room not expecting much, though Lins is strangely lagging behind. The room is actually really nice and the bathroom looks the cleanest we have seen since we came away. "We'll take it" I hastily say. Downstairs Lins quietly points at a picture on the wall. It can only be described as a grotesque nude. Really not my taste, but there you go. I'm handing the money over for the room. As I leave I notice more grotesques with scenes from a brothel in one of them. Halfway down the street and the penny drops. "Lins, that wasn't a whore house was it?" "I don't know, but I did try to point them out to you." Damn my male inability to recognise female dirty looks. Ah well, we are paid up now and there is no guarantee it is a whore house. Right?

Lindsay - this is kind of glossing over the argument we had when we got out, and down the street, and through a stiff drink. Not really about taking me to stay in a brothel, but about booking hotels without discussing it first. However I decided to give it/ him a chance. But anything funny and I was going to be out of there and heading back to the nice hotel. On my own.

Russell - After accomodation was sorted we had a drink by the beach and walk and then decided it was time to get back to Phuket Town to spend our last night in the nice hotel before moving our stuff to a brothel. Time to catch the local bus back. Where is the stop? Well there isn't one you just wait by the side of the road and flag it down. So we waited, and waited. What we didn't realise was that the last bus goes at 4:30 and it was already gone 5:30 when we started waiting. At 6 we decided to try and get a tuk-tuk. "450 Baht" the man said WHAT! In Bangkok we had a man take us around the city for nearly 4 hours for 30 Baht now this guy wants over 14 times that to take us 20 minutes down the road. "Pang Bai!" Lins get into her heavy negoatiation but they won't go below 350. We head off again still hoping to get a bus when we meet a group of taxi drivers who told us about the buses ending at 4:30. Lins tries her best to get them down to 300 baht but they won't budge. It seems tuk-tuks and taxis have formed a union and don't under bid each other when there is a tourist to rip off. Eventually one of the drivers takes pity and gets on the phone. "I will take you for 300 but we must pick up my wife first and take her to her mother's." A strange request but we agree and the taxi heads off off into the dark back streets of Karon. I have to admit being a little worried we were about to get robbed around the back but we eventually met the guy's wife and headed back to Phuket Town for the evening.

Next day we packed up our things and went to catch the local bus in the market to Karon. We checked into our hotel and headed for the beach just as the first spots of rain showed up. And so it was for three days. No sunshine, no beach. There really isn't much to do unless you want to buy a suit. There are plently of seedy looking men of a certain age entertaining young Thais, not in our hotel I might add. It turned out to be a perfectly normal hotel. Basically Karon, and Kata which we walked to are fast becoming like every other holiday destination for Europeans. Brash and devoid of local culture. Not for me I'm afraid.

Lindsay - I was particularly disappointed, as we had come to Phuket because of the beautiful, relaxed beaches I remember from eight (eight? Really eight? How did that happen?) years ago. Nothing is familiar anymore. Once we got past the Flintstones' themed Dino Park Restaurant and Mini-Golf I started to feel very old. Heartbreaking.

Russell - To cheer ourselves up we did go for a steak dinner in the Karon branch of a steakhouse we had first eaten in in Oslo, Norway. Our Norwegian steak was the best steak either us has ever had so we had high hopes and it filled most of them. Not better than Oslo, but a close second. We also had a bottle of wine that cost more than double our usual daily food spend! In total our meal including wine came to the equivalent of three days food budget! But we needed it!! That said it was also a third of the price of the one we bought in Oslo!

After three days of rain we decided it was time to return to town where at least things were cheaper and less touristy. We packed up our things and headed for the road to wait for the local bus. It duely arrived completely packed with people, and with us carrying our heavy backpacks. But this is Thailand and as this bus was of the truck variety clinging onto the back was what was called for. We held on for dear life for the 20 minute ride as the rain lashed down. It was cramped, uncomfortable and wet. But at least there was a breeze so I reckon it was still better than the tube at rush hour. And arguably safer!

So we headed back to our nice hotel to set plans for a rainy week in Phuket.

Why don't we just move on, you might be thinking? Well there is a small problem with that. Those who keep their eye very close to the international news will still probably not know that the terrorist activity in the southern provencies of Thailand have escalated quite severely in recent weeks, with almost daily kidnappings and murders and the Foreign and Commonwealth Office are advising all Brits not to travel to the region. On top of this the rain we are getting Phuket is a edge of a massive band of rain that has caused massive flooding in the same area. Either way our path to Malaysia has been blocked. To get over this we have booked ourselves on to the Easyjet equivalent airline from Phuket to Kuala Lumpur where we intend to continue our journey exploring Maylaysia. The flight isn't until Friday so until then we are Phuket-bound.

So what can you do in Phuket when its raining? Answers on a postcard please...

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Comments

[Jill]

Russ, You and I will be having words if you've taken my daughter to stay in a whorehouse!