Pass the Soap

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Thursday 12th of June. In the central atrium of the Bogotá country club a luxury pool snakes it´s way under bridges, in and out of the geodesic dome. A young english wife sits anxiously in a deck chair, awaiting the return of her high flying husband, the inscrutable Mr Bean (not that one).

Inside the conference facility, Señor Bean is engaged in a lengthy and somewhat heated discussion, pertaining to a large shipment. His business needs this deal, so much is obvious from the sums involved... and yet he appears dispassionate and stoic in his ill fitting suit. He barely nods as the vast sums of capital are discussed, and the clauses of the deal are ironed out with his Colombian counterpart, Andrés Ferreira. Only when a mini skirt clad secretary enters to peel a squashed waffle from the suit of Andrés´s suit does his eyebrow raise a tad. The meeting is called to a hasty close, and Señor Bean leaves with his two associates, much to Andrés´s frustration. Only then does it occur to the viewer that Mr Bean has dominated the scene, with something approaching Brando like magnetism, and without uttering a single word, and barely a single facial expression

So began and ended my brief sojourn into the world of Colombian telly novelas... For with something approaching the foresight of a seer, my last blog contained an analysis of this noble art form! Barely twelve hours after posting, Nat and I were approached by a long haired TV executive in our hostel, on the lookout for a tall gringo to play an extra in the Telly Soap "Nuevos Ricos, Nuevos Pobres". Somehow I fitted the bill, and after a hectic period of negotiations ("I´ll give you thirty quid" "Cool!"), Nat and I were whisked off to the TV studios of the Caracol offices to film my brief cameo as Mr Bean, the international (yet surprisingly youthful) shipping magnate.

It was a funny experience to say the least! Sadly we won´t be in the country when the show goes out (on prime time TV, folks!), but here´s the webbie for my magnum opus in the acting domain: Nuevo Rico, Nuevo Pobre. Apparently the actors in the show are famous in these parts... At least according to one of my co-extras, a lovely Colombian guy who was fresh from doing his Extra Thang in the new James Bond movie. I think it hurt his professional pride that I´d never acted before, and by the end of the day he was swearing to me that he was only taking speaking parts from then on in!

Anyway, Bogotá turned out to be a lot more appetizing than we thought, with lots of cool bars and food, though it was quite unashamedly ugly. We had quite a fun time there, TV stardom aside, stuffing our faces and wandering aimlessly. Also visited the Gold Museum, featuring some amazing pre-Columbian metalwork, and the collection of Botero, one of Colombia's most famous painters, best-known for his paintings of fat people! Example photos are attached.

However our time in Colombia is now at an end... We´ll miss it terribly, as it´s freaking ace, but there´s one thing we won´t miss, and that´s the water. Now neither of us are bottled water snobs, at home I drink from the tap (with a bad enough hangover, I´d probably drink from the toilet), but in most parts of Colombia you basically have 4 unappealing options:
1. Drink from the tap and get dysentery.
2. Drink Agua Cristal. Natalie summed this up nicely as "swamp water in a bottle"
3. Drink Agua Brisa. Much like the above, but with a delicate nose of industrial solvents...
4. Drink Agua Manantial. Look out for this one, as it doesn´t make you gag.

So long for now, chicos!

Si xxx

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Photos

International gringo shipping magnate Mr Bean
Si said he overheard someone saying 'ok, we need the gringo now'...and check out that pink tie!

Streets of Bogotá
Apparently a couple of rocket bombs have gone off in the industrial areas of the city in the last couple of days, but we've been tucked away in the centre not knowing a thing

In the Yumi Yumi sandwich bar with Leah and Iain
i want to give this place a shout out, not just for the amazing sarnies and cocktails, but also cos the English owner was kind enough to lend me his plug adaptor to charge my mp3 player (ours got nicked!)

Botero still life
Even his fruit look plump, quite an achievement I'd say

Si scoffing a cafè granizado from Juan Valdez
a chain of fair trade Colombian coffee shops with very tasty coffee

Figurines
from the Gold Museum

Gold museum
This guy is also the cover star for Club Colombia... a very tasty Colombian beer.

Comments

[El Scook Y Natalia]

I´m not fat,right
It´s just the suit.

[Mary]

you CAN drink water from the tap in Bogotá, its one of the cleaniest, better tasting waters in america!