From Loathing to Tolerance of Being Almost in the Middle of Nowhere (AKA the Amazon)

---

Hello everyone, I realize I'm a little behind but been traveling some more (in fact I'm in a McDonald's in Guatemala City for the hotel conference I decided to attend. I might write more on that later...). Anyway, while I have a half hour of free wi-fi thanks to McD's, here's what I previously wrote on the Amazon...

I’m back in Quito, and quite frankly freezing as I went from 90F and about the same humidity to about 50F, cloudy and “rain wet” instead of “humid wet” - within less than a day. In any case, here is my chance to write about the Amazon.

I will tell you, though I am not anti-nature (don’t forget I was the fool who went backpacking into the Grand Canyon last year), the Amazon was a real lesson of sticking it out and trying to find the silver lining. I left on the night of the 25th at 11PM. I went to the Esmerladas bus station (basically, a private company’s bus station) at about 10:30PM. My plan was to get there, get on the 11:30PM bus, and try sleeping for the 7 hour bus ride to Lago Agrio, a town of Quito and the pickup point to the Cuyabeno Lodge. I really should know better than this, of course, as I don’t sleep all that much on any ride, be it a plane or bus. It was all the worse as the bus and road was very bumpy, to say the least. This is on top of my butt getting sore from all the sitting. I spent most of the night drifting in and out but without any real sleep. In any case, I had the most minimal of items I figured I could get by with and off I went. I had my camera case, of course, but otherwise about the only other thing was my computer bag turned suitcase with as few clothes as possible, toiletries and malaria medicine, a pen and paper, and assorted items such as a mini-flashlight and sunglasses. Even with that, the bag was barely able to close. The bus left and off we went down the mountains to the lowlands of the Amazon region. Besides the bumps and shifting of the bus back and forth as it had to avoid potholes on the occasional dirt roads (at least I believe, I couldn’t see out the window for much of the night due to condensation on the windows. That is maybe just as well I not see the sketchy roads and bridges we were going over), there was relatively loud music playing most of the night. There was a song that seemed to go on forever that had a sound of dishes breaking over and over. Anyway, after 7 long hours we arrived in the completely forgettable town of Lago Agrio. Lago Agrio, to my understanding, is a town that was created basically for the oil industry in the region. There is clearly no tourist potential in the town, even though there are a few hotels/hostels. Be sure to remember that in many towns in Ecuador and likely Latin America - especially smaller ones like here- the terms “hotel” and “hostel” are pretty interchangeable. It’s about the same quality and amenities. It’s only a few of the main hotel chains in the big cities such as Quito that might have something we would consider a “hotel room”. In any case, we arrived in the town and I met this couple from Alaska going on the same tour. We had a little juice from the one restaurant and walked a little bit as we weren’t being picked up until 9:30AM (well...that’s the time quoted. Ecuador, like much of Cental and South America is pretty loose when it comes to time schedules). We walked to pass time, found the local market where you could buy live (at least minimally) and dead meat among the various other products. The live meat did include things such as piranha, armadillo, and crabs. Dead meat included what you might expect such as chicken and beef. It was all just hanging there though and presumably when you said what you want they started cutting from the big slab. Hygiene would be, at best, questionable. No rare steaks for Gary here...

We stopped at a small shop to pick up snack items for the next leg of the journey. I got a juice box type thing of yogurt smoothie mix for that moment, something I think to this time was a mistake, plus two small bags of Chips Ahoy mini cookies. Anyway, we headed back to the hotel and meeting point to find we would be delayed an hour waiting for two people who were flying in. I then thought, “There’s an airport here and I could have flown? Why wasn’t I informed of this?” Ultimately, the debate would have been the $8 bus ride or $60 plane ride each way- a fight over what is more important, time/comfort or money/budget? Money/budget really needs to win out despite the temptation. Even at about 9AM, the temperature and humidity was fast rising to verge on somewhat uncomfortable, though should be an accepted fact of where you’re going. In any case, we walked a little more on the main drag to see what little there might be to see. Ultimately, not much was there to see though Al and Katya, the Alaska couple I was walking with, did stop by a liquor store and remarked about some Ecuadorian liquor that was supposed to be good. I remembered it is Espiritu, though didn’t know much more about it. We stopped in and found one remaining bottle. They decided against it as it wasn’t particularly cheap (especially by Ecuadorian standards) at about $24.00 for the bottle. We went to start towards the door and Katya noticed what appeared to be a toy monkey hanging from a perch. However, the thought of it being a “toy” quickly dissipated when the monkey started moving like live monkeys do move. It was a pet, all diapered and everything! As Katya spoke fluent Spanish, she discovered the monkey, later determined to be a Common Wholly Monkey, was a baby, probably orphaned. The monkey seemed ready to get into most items but actually seemed rather well cared for - which doesn’t always happen in the region for pet monkeys. We even got to witness a diaper change as some proof of care. After visiting with the monkey (mostly Katya visiting, I just watched), we walked some more. At this point, I needed to visit a restroom so I let them walk some and headed back to the hotel for the bus. The new people, who young woman from Denmark, arrived from the airport and soon enough the driver was ready to take us further down towards the lodge.

I wasn’t informed much about the ride to the lodge as Sofia, my English speaking travel agent and wife of the hostal owner here in Quito wasn’t in the office when I went to pay for the tour. However, it was a 2 1/2 hour van ride to the boat - of which 1 1/2 hours of it was completely dirt road with never-ending bumps and shifting of the van to avoid the larger potholes in the dirt road. It was during this lovely ride that I think either the fresh squeezed juice or the yogurt smoothie started taking its toll on me. At first I told myself I would will my stomach to be calm, drink some water in the bottle I had, and keep myself in a breeze for fresh air in the warm and very humid conditions. It did work for a while, but ultimately I came about as close to puking without actually tossing my cookies as you can do. I made a beeline to an open window in case I didn’t succeed in “keeping the lid on”. I did keep the lid on and made it though the van ride, especially with the help of some mints from Katya. I came to learn Katya is very much into natural remedies and said mint is supposed to help calm an upset stomach. Along the van ride, we stopped for lunch along the way, which was a piece of chicken, rice, and fairly soggy french fries. I had an appetite for little of it but put down a tiny bit of food as I told myself I really hadn’t eaten much in the last 12 hours. I also decided to try to buy my own mints. I saw some at the little shop we stopped at but realized my money was either a $5 bill, larger bills, or literally 9 cents in change. The mint gum was 10 cents. I first asked if she had change for the $5 and she gave me a look like I was a lunatic. The guy that was with the woman talked her into accepting the 9 cents for the gum, though. Anyway, we soon left our lunch stop and later made it to “the bridge”. This is where you get out and pay your entrance fee to the park. The fee was an outrageous $20, at least for us gringos. I suppose it’s supply and demand and I knew the charge was coming, but it’s still a lot of money to pay to enter. I can think of few parks in the States where you pay that much to enter - mostly huge demand parks such as Grand Canyon. Anyway, we all paid our cash and got ready for the next leg. This was on a motorized canoe. Now, some of you know but I will tell all I am not fond of canoes and this part wasn’t mentioned to me. The irrational part of my brain tells myself that all canoes around the world constantly capsize and everyone drowns a horrible death. They should be completely abandoned around the world. Obviously, I had little choice but toughen up and take the canoe but this didn’t do much for my demeanor. I did tell myself “it’s a large canoe as opposed to the small super tipsy ones. Others are with me that speak English and I’ll be okay. I’ll just say another prayer for our safety”. The canoe obviously made it fine and the boat guide spoke a bare amount of English to say things like “this is the name (of the animal we were going by)...”, but it was yet another 2 hours of sitting and traveling after what has been already about 9 1/2 hours of traveling. Indeed, it is about as close to the middle of nowhere as I think you might get - at least within one days travels. My stomach wasn’t feeling good but seemed somewhat okay. We all got out of the boat and were shown to our rooms in the lodge. “Room” is a pretty loose definition here as they were little more than huts on stilts that did not much more than keep you off the ground from the whatever crawling around, keep you dry should it rain, and provide some basic plumbing for a shower and toilet. The spaces between the walls didn’t do much for the creepy-crawlies that did make it up the stilts nor was there a lock on the door to stop anything/anyone else. So, here I was in the Amazon with little choice but endure. I set my things down and set up my mosquito netting over the bed and under the edge of the mattress. I then sprayed the net down with some of the Permanone (a serious bug repellant) on the hopes it would help with all the bugs. The group, once settled in, was going on to the lake to see the sunset. It was about the time of gathering to do the boat ride we met “Poncho”, another baby Common Wholly Monkey that was a pet monkey here at the lodge. Everyone thought he was so adorable and, from a distance, I guess he was okay. I think I did well to avoid him, though, as once he was on your shoulder with his tail around your neck, it was a pain to get him off. I was told his parents were killed and he was therefore orphaned, so I presume he was desperate for contact and attention. However, I didn’t need him on me. It was okay as everyone else was fine with taking turns having him attached to them and feeding as need be.

I decided with an upset stomach that being somewhat close to a bathroom might be good and stayed, ultimately napping. I later woke up before everyone returned, thankfully, and finally got some of the upset stomach out of me (sorry if that upsets YOUR stomach!). The group returned and we had dinner. I had very little dinner that night and, frankly, didn’t mind. The food was fine, I just had no appetite. After everyone was done, Nathan (I think that was his name - it might have been something similar) introduced himself and first talked about some general things such as don’t leave candles lit all night so they don’t fall down and burn down the lodge and more, etc. However, he then started talking about nature and went on and on and on. This was really a foreshadowing of his general method of operation but this first night I ultimately couldn’t much handle it. It didn’t help he threw in an occasional left-wing political statement, which many of you know flies with me pretty much like a lead balloon. This nights primary left-wing comment was that “cable should be free for everyone”. Logic here is many Ecuadorians can’t really afford to see nature live and appreciate it so if they had access to cable they could at least watch Discovery Channel, etc. and then more likely defend nature against the imperialist capitalists or similar. He also made a comment not especially fond of missionaries of the past and not fond of religion in general to add to the “cable should be free” comments. Now, while I could argue with Nathan about how to pay for all this cable and infrastructure to allow cable to exist in everyones houses - plus his misunderstanding of religion-, the reality is many travelers of these types of trips are somewhat in at least theoretical agreement with Nathan’s viewpoints and ultimately he was about the only way I had to get back to civilization...know when and where to pick your battles...

We ultimately got ready to head to our rooms for the night, with all its above charm plus candles for lighting (no electricity). I also got my introduction into the larger beetles and similar bugs that occasionally made it to the rooms. It was usually only one or two, but still no fun. I crawled under my netting and, in the hot and humid conditions with no wind or breeze, got ready to sleep. However, to add to the sleeping conditions was the “symphony of the night”. The main contributor were the frogs that bellowed loudly. Worse yet, when one started, another one or two would join. There were additionally all the bugs buzzing and whatever else making noise; I really think it could compete on some level with a large downtown area! I finally fell asleep, though woke later. The frogs did quiet down and at least the noise reached an ambient “white noise” level that wasn’t so bad. I drifted back off and woke the next morning earlier than needed but was okay with it. I had some notion, however, of taking the big canoe back to the bridge early and just being done with the whole thing. I figured I would just say I need to go back, no refund is necessary - just not my cup of tea.

The first full day had a decent breakfast that I ate a little more of, but still not much and left with little appetite. We were then slated to go canoeing in the morning. Remember my earlier thoughts on canoes? These were the smaller super-tipsy canoes. My own sense of self peer-pressure plus sense of “I paid for this” not only keep me from actually leaving early but put me into the canoe. It was two hours of pretty much a completely stone-faced Gary. I didn’t even have to paddle much because there weren’t enough paddles so we had to take turns, but I couldn’t have cared less about any wildlife in the area, no matter how interesting. I certainly wasn’t in the mood to start pulling out the camera and moving around to take pictures. I made it back and wasted no time in getting out of the canoe, completely convinced I would definitely not do paddling type canoeing again, plus most likely take the next mornings canoe back to the bridge. We later headed for a night hike. It was back into the large canoe for a too long ride to a hiking point and did about 2 hours of hiking into the night. There were a few interesting things to see such as big grasshoppers and such. These are bugs if you saw them anywhere else but in this setting or a zoo, you’d probably flip out. However, being both in the “correct” setting for the animals and bugs plus I was on land it was mildly interesting. We were provided some rubber boots to wear for the hike. Now, you can say it’s not so sanitary to wear these boots that are shared and likely rarely washed/sanitized, but with the amount of mud you walk through you’d still be a fool to not use them. I probably should buy some foot spray as a preventive measure...

About 8PM or so (once Nathan got going, he seemed more concerned about exploring than crazy things like eating for the first time in 8 hours), we headed back for dinner. We ate (still not too much for me as while not necessarily sick there still wasn’t much of an appetite) and started winding down for the night. Eventually, I headed to my room to do a bug-check and end up crawling into my net covered bed. As I laid there, I again told myself I was leaving in the morning.

The next morning came and when I was less tired I ended up staying the last full day at the lodge. The itinerary today was a boat ride to a hike. Now, that sounds easy enough but it was a two hour boat ride where my butt again had plenty of opportunity to get sore. We arrived and while I heard the hike was only about an hour, Nathan asked if we wanted lunch before hiking. Carrie, part of the Australian couple that was traveling and working their way to a move to the south of France, asked how long was the hike. Nathan replied, “a couple of hours...”. A couple of hours? Anyway, we had lunch first and it was actually fairly tasty. We then hiked in the jungle, with its 85-90F temps and 85-95% humidity, and actually found interesting things to look at while there. It ended up being my best day there and had to grudgingly admit I was glad I stayed. Beside looking at things such as Leaf Cutter Ants - where you saw this little line of leaf parts seeming to move on their own; various frogs; turtles lined up on a log sun bathing, various birds such as macaws and toucans flying; “Lemon Ants” (which I once saw on Andrew Zimmern’s “Bizarre Eats” on the Travel Channel where you have all these tiny, tiny ants on some type of tree that you take your finger, lick it, pick up the ants, and put them in your mouth. They really do taste lemony!), and types of trees such as rubber trees and the “Dragon’s Blood” tree, whose sap is said to be used for various aliments (which Andrew Zimmern also mentioned on the same show), we also got to see chocolate before it’s chocolate. We came upon Cocao trees, whose seeds are dried and later used for cocoa and chocolate. You don’t eat the seeds outright right off the tree, but we did get a pod down and open it up. It ended up being interesting because when we first came upon the one tree, the one pod was fairly high on the branch. Nathan took a fallen branch and tried to knock it loose to no avail. However, I suggested I would hold the branch to provide tension for him to hit against to knock it loose. I realized after I volunteered that the pod might came straight down on my head, but so be it. It didn’t and soon enough we pulled some seeds. The seeds have a milky creme on them you can suck on and was rather pleasant. We then took the seeds (both sucked on and not) and brought them to be dried for the local shaman we were supposed to see to later sell to the markets. Unfortunately, Mr. Shaman took off for town or the markets and wouldn’t be back until the next day, so no dancing or whatever for us to see. In any case, we winded our way to our waiting boat and started down to visit a local community. There was some interesting parts, such as just seeing life in general in this community that seemed (and was) mighty remote. We also got to see a local food, yuca, being prepared. At first it was interesting to see it being cooked sort of like a potato. It actually is a root like a potato so it is easy to compare. The yuca cooked like a potato was fairly tasty and it was interesting to see the huts directly over the huge turkey walking around doing whatever it was feeling like doing. We then had a young lady who brought us over to pull up some yuca roots. That part was interesting, though the interesting part pretty much ended there. After harvesting the roots, we all got to go to the “kitchen” - basically a hut with a fire pit over a clay heating tile plus a basic trough type setup for everything else to be done. We watched the lady take a grater and grate the yuca for about 20 minutes. We then watched her take the grated material and put it into this straw weaving rope thing that she used to strain the grated yuca for about 5-10 minutes so the liquid could be used for a soup. She then took the strained yuca and put it through a handmade sifter for about another 5-10 minutes so it was basically like a flour. All this time we were also waiting for the fire and clay tile to get hot enough to cook on. After all this, which was around 45 minutes of watching a woman doing basic food prep, we got the joy of watching her take the flour like material and put it on a tile in a circular shape. After 5-10 minutes of cooking both sides, now approaching an hour of sitting, we got to see what this was all about: we got to see her make us a tortilla...thanks so much for that hour of time. I really could have done the abridged version of the presentation and got the idea... However, we now were getting a treat, right? The other form of yuca was somewhat tasty, right? I tore off my piece and tried it. It had a similar texture to, and imagine tasted a lot like...plywood. All this time for a plywood tasting tortilla? Even the marmalade Nathan brought didn’t help enough. Well, we moved on to return to the lodge for a break.

We took our break and before dinner went for an evening swim and later night boat ride to try to find caimans, similar but not as dangerous or bold as alligators. I’m not one to swim so that part did nothing for me and it was cloudy enough to not have a sunset. A few of the group swam, though not everybody. We did get the joy of having Nathan use this time to swim and use this as his bath. Now, he kept his trunks on but did bring his “natural shampoo”. Now, I have no illusions that the water I was showering with was not the same as the river, but while it wasn’t completely uncomfortable was a little odd to have our tour guide bathing in front of us on the boat. After those who wanted to swim and bathe did their thing, we went looking for caimans. Nathan mentioned it would be tough to find them due to the high water level at this time. They tend to prefer more shallow waters as there’s more heat from the sun, plus caimans are naturally shy anyway. We looked and looked - and looked. One time we saw a reflection of an eyeball of one. However, it promptly took off when we moved anywhere close. I tried to appreciate the night sky for all the stars to pass the time, and actually did appreciate it a fair amount. The temperature had cooled and it reminded me of a warm, humid but nice summer day back home where you just look up and appreciate the nature. Ultimately, however, it was dinner time and beyond. I was also obviously feeling better as I was hungry. As what I was hoping was the trip back to the lodge (it’s impossible for me to have much sense of where we are with endless trees to begin with, much less boating at night), Nathan suddenly wanted the boat to stop. Nathan had seen something...we turned the boat around and went back. What he saw, and God only knows how, was some tiny baby boa constrictor in a branch. Presumably, he saw a reflection from the flashlight off the eyeball but I’m still amazed how he saw it. We turned around to take a look, though at this point I was really hoping instead of a snake Nathan had seen a KFC...

We made it back, finally had dinner, and spent the evening talking among our group about life in general. We also saw a table of “newbies” that had come to the lodge earlier in the day. One of the newbies got rather “freaked out” when a noisy cicada flew in the area and Nathan caught it. My remark to my compatriots was, “if that’s creeping you out, don’t go to your room...” The night ended reasonably well and I went to my room for the night. Actually, there were fewer bugs in my room, perhaps from the fact we lucked out and it hadn’t rained in these few days, plus the frogs were quiet this night. I fell asleep ready to do a few more hours the next day, but still excited by the fact I got to leave around noon the next day.

The next morning was another good breakfast and I ate all of it. The food served was actually pretty good and varied, it definitely was a good part of the tour and lodge. This morning the plan was to go piranha fishing for a while, perhaps take a quick look at a trail and more wildlife, and then head me back to the lodge to head back to the bridge. The other people in my boat of people were all actually staying one more day, but others in different groups, including Al and Katya, were heading back this day. Nathan always said one time but ended up extending it. We did fish and I caught nothing (just like back home in those 10,000 lakes), but others caught some small fish. We threw them all back but it was interesting to see. That said, like every other boat ride, it was too long and I was ready to return long before we did (and I think others were in a similar frame of mind though nobody said much). We also stopped at some lodge and did finally get to see a caiman, though spent again too much time. The boat to the bridge was supposed to leave about 12 noon and it was now 11:30. I knew I had no plans on staying another day and we all started mentioning besides it being almost lunch time I had to get back for the boat. Nathan kidded around saying, “oh, manana...we’re in Ecuador...” I didn’t return much smile or laughter. We ended up still stopping for those who wanted a quick swim and I was being a crabby American who lives by the clock versus on vacation. I was ready to go. The Danish girls did try consoling me by saying they didn’t think a boat would leave because the tour wouldn’t want to have to send two boats and they were almost definitely right but I just was being an agitated and unhappy camper.

We did make it back and the same boat that we were in was actually the one the others were waiting for to take to the bridge. I had to quickly pack, because I was told I would have time to pack and really didn’t have much, and we headed out about about 12:15-:20. We began our long journey back, again two hours by boat to the bridge. It was on the boat ride back that the real sense of appreciation of this trip formed for me. It was here where I made myself realize for all I didn’t like, I got to see a lot of wildlife I may never see again. If I do, it will likely be only in a zoo (well, this all assumes I don’t end up back here with some tour I book that wants the “Amazon” experience). I also have to realize that the experiences I did get to live these past few days are ones far better than many, many people will ever get to experience. I also did get to see a lot of nature, even if it was hot, really humid, and I probably sweated out a few pounds (or threw them up...) For those reasons, I ended with a sense of appreciation.

Well, the boat made it back to the bridge in about 2 hours and we had lunch. From there, we began the 2 1/2 van ride back to Lago. That ride wasn’t quite so bad for me (I stress quite, it still wasn’t a dance around the maypole...) as the van was such there were three seats in back for pairs and one seat in front. As I was the only one not “paired up” the others took the back seats and I got a front seat, plus everyone was happy with that arrangement. We made it back and three of us: Al, Katya, and me, went straight to a Greyhound type bus back to Quito. It was actually again not quite so bad, though it seemed like the driver was driving like a bat out of hell as he was whipping up the mountain on curves and switchbacks. We did have a time where the military or police stopped the bus for an inspection where everyone had to get off. The gringo turistas were sent to a separate booth. They recorded our passport numbers and names, plus how long we were staying. The interesting part was one guard said to us “Eight...”, but nothing else. I honestly had no idea what he was getting at. However, Katya lied and said, “No entiendo...”, or “I do not understand”. What is interesting is though she pretended, apparently for all of us, she didn’t understand she then answered questions to the other guard. After a few moments that other guard handed back passports and Katya suggested stepping away. Apparently, the first guard was asking for basically a payoff. Katya said you have to normally just keep pretending you don’t understand and usually they back off as they did here. What are they going to likely do, arrest you? What will they say when you tell a lawyer or US Consul they asked for an illegal payoff? Soon enough, we were back on the bus on towards Quito.

We arrived in Quito seemingly early, even with a dinner break, at about 1AM. We split a cab to our hostels for the night and after banging on the door a few minutes I checked in late and ended my trip. Again, from loathing I ended up with another experience for future business and future stories...

---

Photos

Her Pet Monkey
In the liquor store in Lago Agrio, here was the lady changing the diaper of her pet baby monkey.

I really was on the canoe...
Here is a little of the view on the canoe to the lodge. It was a 2 hour boat ride to the lodge.

My luxurious accommodations
It doesn't get much more basic than this, I don't think. Basically a hut with no soundproofing, and enough spaces in walls for whatever is crawling around. The net over the bed did help, though...

Picture of the huts
They were all in a circle, connected by a bridge between all of them.

Me vs. the tree
The structure behind me is a huge tree. It went easily 200 feet in the air and you can see the width was massive. Think Redwood Forest in CA...

Leaf cutter ants
The picture on the website might be a little hard, but all the green pieces on the ground are pieces of leaves that were cut by the ants and being carried to their nest. A leaf isn't that heavy, but in relation to the weight of the ant, I imagine they were easily lifting and easily carrying well beyond their body weight. Think you can do that?

Chocolate before it's chocolate
Here are a bunch of cocao beans being prepared to be dried and later sold to market as cocoa (and later chocolate).

At the community village
I am standing underneath one hut and you can get a sense of the height off the ground of this hut from the other people standing. The other hut is where the woman was baking yuca (the kind I liked, not the tortilla). This type of hut was typical in this river community.

Toucan Sam
Here was a toucan that we were finally close enough and hung around long enough for a picture. It was taken in the community we visited.

Comments

[Jolene]

Gary, You had me in tears laughing. You're a great writer! Very funny stuff. Maybe writing a book is in store for you. Anyway, we look forward to your next blog, and are so glad you are safe and sound and out of there. Love, The Wildgrube Family

[Beth]

I think you can count me out on taking a trip to the Amazon. I hate bugs.

[newplacestogo]

Hmmm..can't say I blame you...
Yeah...I tolerated the bugs but they will catch you offguard and many are not particularly small. I did also take some pics of a tarantula that was in one of the huts. My pics makes it look really huge because I used zoom with it on the roof, but it wasn't actually as big as it appears (though not tiny either). That's okay, there's plenty to see in Ecuador without going to the Amazon.