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Published: February 1st 2008
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Adam
Adam has a terrible case of the ruins and since camping is the ideal place for that to happen I'm considerately and compassionately mocking his watery cramping pain. Carnival is tomorrow, I'm sure I'll have a number of madcap stories to tell you after. Us teachers are planning some costumes that would be stunningly unPC and any pictures will pretty much prevent me ever seeking public office, but here it’s all good, in the spirit. Carnival is hedonism, debauchery, and self indulgence. I do my best to avoid all three on a normal basis, but Carnivale brings out the worst in me. Like rollar hockey. I've watched several movies since I've been on break. Dr. Zhivago is excellent, and the actress who plays the lead is beautiful. Being an actor really is like being immortal, since I imagine this lady is probably pretty old by now and not so beautiful, except maybe on the inside and who cares about that? This theory also justifies the idea that famous people are famous because they are better than normal people, and therefore deserve to be deified and their petty daily activities really are newsworthy. It has Obi Wan also. I also watched Murderball about quadriplegic wheelchair rugby and the paralympics.* It's really good and another movie that makes me feel like I'm not doing much with my fully functioning body. Also,
never confuse the special olympics with the paralympics, apparently one is for retards and the other is for handicapped athletes. One happens every year and everyone wins, the other happens every 4 years, and 2nd place is just the 1st loser. If you ever need to put things in perspective remember that quadriplegics are jealous of paraplegics. First I find out that Chuck Norris coinhabited Prairie Village, KS with me, and now John Carmack, the video game master behind Wolfenstein, Doom and Quake. Random Johnson County fact: Johnson County is named after Reverand Thomas Johnson, the first missionary sent to the Shawnee Mission (which of course dealt with the Shawnee Indians). I love the fact that Ben's father on Lost is Uncle Rico. The only problem is Uncle Rico will always be Uncle Rico, he can't play anything else now. I think it's a lot easier to be happy when you're completely clueless. You know how I can tell I'm getting old? If you answered my hairline, wrinkles, or general state of unfitness, that’s not really what I was going for. No, because I read a lot more non-fiction. I always wondered why people would read something lame like an
My other four roomies
Jaundice and Yellow Fever are all grown up autobiography of a guy with Aspergers syndrome but now I know, because it's awesome. I was looking on Wikipedia for some information to help determine why, inexplicably, I’m yet to win the Powerball. While I found nothing regarding that, I found this. The Powerball drawing of the March 30, 2005 game produced an unprecedented 110 second-place winners, all of whom picked the first five numbers correctly, but not the Powerball number. Powerball officials initially suspected fraud, but it turned out that all the winners received their numbers from fortune cookies made by Wonton Food Inc. The factory had printed the five regular numbers (22, 28, 32, 33, and 39) on thousands of fortunes. The sixth number in the fortune, 40, did not match the Powerball number, 42. One nice thing about living in Colombia is that lots of people have curly unruly hair so the barbers have a better idea of how to deal with it. They still do a disastrous job of cutting it, but at least here I get the impression they are doing it on purpose. I understand they think they're God's chosen people, but ask any world traveler and they'll tell you that the Israelis are always the biggest dicks in the hostel. Most of them leave and travel after their mandatory military service and so perhaps all the terrible things they saw being in the Israeli army has jaded them, but seriously, give it a rest. Notice I said Isreali, not Jew, since Jew is a religious affiliation and not a race. According to the traditional Rabbinic view, which is maintained by all branches of Orthodox Judaism and Conservative Judaism today, only Halakha ("Jewish law") can define who is or is not a Jew when a question of Jewish identity, lineage, or parentage arises about any person seeking to define themselves or claim that they are Jewish. Therefore, Halakha defines a "Jew" as someone, male or female, who is: (1) The child of a Jewish mother, known in English as "matrilineal descent". This law is derived from Deuteronomy 7:4 or (2) A person who converts -- that is, is formally converted to Judaism -- under the auspices of a halakhically constituted and recognized Beth Din ("Court ") consisting preferably of three learned rabbis acting as Dayanim ("judges"), but also possibly two learned and respected lay members of the community along with a rabbi who then issue a Shtar geirut ("Certificate of Conversion"). If you can convert, it's not a race. I can't become a black guy, although plenty of whiteys have tried.
Book of the Month: I have to go with the final Harry Potter book. Into the Wild was really good, although it certainly didn’t strike a cord with me, I barely camp.
Movie of the Month: Of the many I watched, I think Murderball was the best.
Colombian retardedness of the Month: Your bills arrive 5 days before the end of the month when everyone gets paid, and they cut the service off before you do. Makes me jones for the days when I got my stuff cut off for missing two months.
Music of the Month: Jesse Malin’s new album is awesome and makes me want to blurt out that I’m totally into wristbands when I meet him at the bottleneck.
Innocent, blameless and free,
Tyrone
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon. ~ Sarah Silverman
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks. ~Sarah Silverman
The devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape. - "Hamlet", Act 2, Scene 2
*Athletes with learning difficulties were excluded from the paralympic games due to the difficulties in testing for and classifying these disabilities. The exclusion was introduced after the 2000 Summer Paralympics in Sydney, the first games with events exclusively for people with learning difficulties, after it was found that the majority of the Spanish basketball team were not disabled.
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PFUNK
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Remember that time we drove from Smithville to KC with me in the back of Garcia's truck? Ya that's how cold it is in my school in the morning time. It's kind of like walking into a dead fishes butt. Without the smell. I could get the smell effect by walking into the Korean grocery store across the street though. Where did the term "cold as a witches tit" come from? I have found in my many years of bedding down many, many women that most of their bodies are cold. Sometimes I come home to find Michelle laying on a giant "hotrock" in the middle of our living room. I think the Harry Potter book was very good. A better book for all of dorkdom is the newest Star Wars book. Jacen Solo you kooky kid. Stop tryin to take over the galaxy like your grand papa. Last night I had a dream where I was choking an apparently was displaying the actual physical motions of choking in the real world. Rather than shaking me awake to save me, my wife simply shook the bed and told me that I was being too loud. Good times. In Overland Park we are actually celebrating our own Carnivale. Pretty much I'm gonna get drunk, where a pink hat and streak down town OP until I get arrested. I think this year I'll grease myself up though. Got some Emerald Skye on CD now. I think I can send MP3's over email. Peace and love, PFUNK PS Goal #1 get out of credit card debt Goal #2 Go to Zimbobway and visit Joel