Bend over and cough

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Sorry for the blog interruption. A week ago, Maya and I both contracted severe bronchitis, which has played havoc with most of our major faculties. Excuses, exmushes, the peanut gallery groans - just get on with it!

So this will have to be a thumbnail sketch of some of our adventures since we last cyberchatted. Buckle in.

Wednesday 28th August

We went to organise the children’s passports at a major police station. The event was only memorable because, as we waited, Maya forcibly pulled out Nicky’s nose ring. A manifestation of precocious existential angst or simply Aunty Abuse?

Thursday 29th August

We visited the Yang Dong orphanage, Maya’s home for the first 13 months of her life. Many Chinese provinces don’t allow parents to visit their children’s orphanage, so I feel extremely fortunate and privileged.

We were met at the hotel by the Director of the Yang Dong orphanage, Mr Huang, who was taking us out for lunch. I was very anxious to ensure that the orphanage Director knew that Maya was going to a good home with a caring, responsible mother, however, things didn’t go quite as planned. The first problem arose when I realised I hadn’t packed my belt. A little thing you might think, but I was wearing jeans a size too large and I had already turned the bus driver vegetarian with the merest glimpse of my unencumbered posterior as I bent over to enter his vehicle. Keen not to embarrass myself further, I borrowed a piece of string from Nicky to hold them up. Then, on the three-hour bus ride, Maya spilt biscuit crumbs on my shoulders and milk on my groin, so the Director’s first impression of me was of a hobo with worrying dandruff and incontinence issues. I did my best to hide the worst of the damage behind the tablecloth at the restaurant… the very same tablecloth which Maya proceeded to pull down moments after being seated at the table, causing plates and glasses to scatter and one to crash to the floor and splinter into a million pieces. Dead silence. My reputation as a “mother” was cemented, but not in the context I had hoped...

The Director and senior staff who had lunch with us clearly cared for Maya. The Director even commented that she was the smartest baby they had ever adopted out, but I took that with a grain of salt - I’m guessing that a lot of adoptive parents hear that one! In an aside to our guide, the Director also mentioned that Maya is incredibly inquisitive for her age, “almost as smart as a boy…” ;-)

All jokes aside, the Director was a lovely, humble man. When I asked my guide what gift would be appropriate to present to him, she responded by saying that the Director had made it clear to her that he wanted nothing for himself, only for the children.

We then travelled to the orphanage itself. We were not allowed in the children's wing, as they are unfamiliar with Westerners and it would be too frightening to have hordes (well, four, but glaringly white) descend upon them. Luckily, Maya's carers had taken photographs using the disposable camera I had sent in her care package several weeks ago. Instead, we were taken to the wing with the disabled children, and we couldn't contain our tears. One of the children who particularly melted our hearts was a boy with two feet on one leg. He was bright and cheerful. The orphanage staff were waiting to see which foot he favoured before sending him for an operation to remove the other one. He will then be placed on the "special needs" adoptive waiting list (which is very popular with Americans, particularly as the waiting time is shortened considerably). More depressing were the children who would never be adopted out, particularly the children with intellectual disabilities. As we left, they started what we thought was groaning, but they were actually singing for us to thank us for visiting them. It was gut-wrenching.

As least Yang Dong takes the best care of their children they possibly can, and trains the children with minor disabilities to become self-reliant. The orphanage in which the children adopted by my batchmates had lived seemed to be much more “scientific” in its practices. The director apparently believes that the most important function of any orphanage is efficiency. The carers are rotated to ensure that no bonding occurs with any child. The cots are lined ten to a row, four rows a room and there is little stimulation for the children. One of our batch children (who was initially very shut down, but who has made incredible strides in only 10 days, as have all the children) came to her father with bruises around her ankles, indicating that she had been tied to her cot on a regular basis. Words can't express.

There were no such restrictions against bonding at Maya's orphanage. She was greeted with real affection by everyone, especially two older girls, Bao Zhu (Pearl) and Mei Li (Beautiful). Bao Zhu was particularly attentive to Maya when we visited, playing with her and kissing her. It turned out that the carers had encouraged Bao Zhu to look after Maya in the orphanage and there was clearly a lot of love between them. I asked our guide whether the older girls would be adopted, but she replied that they were too old to be considered for standard adoption (children must be under the age of two) and too old to be selected for special needs age-related adoption. Their options for the future are not bright. I can't imagine how heart-wrenching it must be for the girls to see other children - whom they love and will miss dreadfully - being adopted and knowing that this option is forever closed to them. We are looking into whether we might be able to sponsor the girls’ education.

We then visited the busy road where Maya was found to take a photo for her lifebook. Maya actually looks more northern in her appearance than the girls from Guangzhou (her outer eyes are tilted upwards, which is characteristic of northern Chinese people). Our guide surmised that her mother may have travelled south for work, became pregnant and was forced to abandon Maya on this busy stretch of road in the hope that someone would take her to the orphanage.

We were emotionally exhausted when we returned to the orphanage, so Aunty Katrena and Aunty Nicky introduced Maya to her first swim. Many orphanage children are unfamiliar with baths (they are sponge bathed in sinks standing up), but Maya took to the pool like a duck to the proverbial. (And no need to thank me for refraining from donning a bathing suit and being photographed myself - I’m aware that some of you may be reading this over lunch.)

Friday 31st August

After nagging Nicky endlessly to take me to an “authentic” Cantonese restaurant, she finally did. The cages and tanks in the entrance were the first giveaway. These included a range of creatures which were to be included in the following restaurant dishes:

• Baked paddy insect in sand dust
• Fried turtle
• Salty snake with pungent flavour
• Delicious water beetle
• Roasted toad with five spices
• Marinated sandworm

Other dishes included fried swan meat with mushrooms, stewed pig’s lung soup, special yak consommé, braised spotted deer meat and baked pigeon kidney with salt. Suffice to say, I ordered the vegetarian fried rice.

On the bright side, before I left for China, I had heard many warnings about the incessant spitting, farting and burping. I can understand how this might be difficult for some to deal with, but glass half full: it is one of the most liberating feelings in the world to burp and fart in public - especially for a woman! - and have no-one even twitch (unless, of course, you’ve released a silent and deadly). Psychiatrists would go out of business if this were mandatory practice in Australia. I’m just saying…

Saturday 1st September

The Guangzhou Girls went to a market rarely visited by Westerners. We were almost immediately swamped by rabid admirers of Connor. There were so many people in one scrum, we lost sight of Connor and Katrena completely. This played out many times when we ventured outdoors in Guangzhou. The gorgeous, pale-skinned, blond-haired, infectiously happy Connor was a huge hit with the entire Chinese populace!

Wednesday 5th September

We flew to Shanghai today to complete the second part of the paperwork for Maya’s adoption. Unfortunately for Nicky, Maya and me - but to the great delight of her family and friends - Katrena and Connor headed back to Australia today. I can’t express how much I have appreciated Katrena’s unwavering support, love and friendship. Maya and I are both so honoured that she could share this once-in-a-lifetime experience with us. We are incredibly sad to be losing one-quarter of our Guangzhou Girls Quartet and the adorable Connor, who has been a trouper and so happy and playful throughout the trip. The batch has also been delighted with Katrena’s support of them (particularly the advice about putting nappies on the right way around!)

Shanghai is spectacular. No disrespect to Guangzhou, but if Shanghai is the Cinderella of cities, Guangzhou is her ugly, bitter, menopausal, syphilitic sister. If Shanghai is the Paris of the East, Guangzhou is the Sadr City. Again, no disrespect. Nicky, Maya and I have just spent three hours walking around the city, absolutely entranced. I am now officially in love with China.

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Comments

[Katrena]

Back home - where are the adoring fans?
We made it home. Having been a pain in the but all the way to KL (thanks to the lovely Chinese man who made a game with the peanut packet that went for at least 40 minutes distracting Connor from caterwarling) Connor fell asleep on takeoff from KL and stayed alseep until landing in Melbourne. We are both feeling pretty shell shocked after 24 hours travelling and 36 hours with no sleep in my case. It's lovely to be home getting our fix of cuddles and kisses (from girls and john) but I'm missing my little 'neice' and her mum and aunty Nicky already. Can you believe my luggage made it all the way to Melbourne no problems then got broken on the flight to Hobart - now navigating through the travel insurance world. Luckily only one item of contents damaged - my genuine Chinese china mug. Looking forward to next installments and have bored Sandra and Helen already with gushings about your gorgeous girl. Love Katrena