Building a Bed

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So, I am amazed at what one can build with a hammer, a leatherman, and a broken drill. This past weekend, Saturday to be exact, I built a bed frame for Sue and I. I used the above tools to do it and only had to make two trips to the hardware store - nothing like the normal 5-6 trips to Lowes that I used to make during a project - though - I never let Sue on to the fact that I enjoyed going to Lowes and would often go there just for the hell of it. While there is a mountain of differences between Lowes and my local ferretería (hardware store) in Puyo, there are certainly some similarities as well. For one, you never can really find ¨exactly¨ what you are looking for. You always have to ¨make it work.¨ Another similarity, the workers never are quite as helpful as you want or need them to be. Yes, of course there are exceptions, and I am about to tell you one of those.

As I was attempting to find bolts and/or screws to put my bed together, I realized that I didn´t know the word for bolt in Spanish. Screw is tornillo - bolt . . . hell I still don´t know, however, I am beginning to think that the word tornillo can be used to describe a myriad of items that all fall into the general category of things that hold other things together. I know this because when I asked for a tornillo, the young man helping me brought back a lag screw. I said I needed another type of tornillo and he brought me a regular screw, then I asked if he had the type with a + and not a - (Phillips or slotted - and I for sure didn´t know how to say that in Spanish) - so I used my fingers to trace what I wanted. The guy returned with a bolt. I was now pretty confused, probably as confused as he was. I explained what I was building and he gave me a knowing look, disappeared into his storeroom and returned with nails. I decided to cut my losses - I figured I could do what I needed to do with nails and slotted screws (which in the States I would never buy). We had another nice exchange trying to get the right size of screw and nail. I made my purchase and then proceeded to another ferretería to try my luck there.

Much of my frustration could have been alleviated if they actually displayed what they have for all to see. Instead, things are tucked away in drawers, stored in boxes, or otherwise hidden. So at the next store (the one I usually go to) I explained what I was building and said I needed an ¨L¨ as in L bracket. Luckily they call them ¨L´s¨ here. The guy pulled out a huge bracket for putting up shelves - I said I needed one más pequeño - so he pulled out a smaller version of the same thing. I then reminded him what I was building and used my hands to play my little game of charades. This worked to perfection - the next thing I saw was a bracket designed exactly for beds - better than the picture I had in my head of what I wanted. Perfect I thought, all I need now are some bolts. I was beginning to get excited, knowing that my project was materializing right before my eyes. That´s when the guy pulled out some small screws - I explained that I needed the cosas (things) that were designed for this particular bracket. He then pulled out some lag screws that were about 4 inches long. Seeing as how the wood I was using was only an inch thick - I knew this wouldn´t work, unless of course Sue and I wished to gouge ourselves everytime we climbed into bed. We went back and forth on the size issue until I got lag screws that I thought would work. I wanted bolts - but again settled for screws. The lag bolts were bigger than the drill bits I had, so I needed to get a new drill bit. Shit…..I had forgotten the word for drill (taladro) and I didn´t know the word for drill bit (broca). So charades once more - at this point, I had drawn quite a crowd of Ecuadorians - and each felt the need to offer guesses at what I needed. Finally, after pointing at a drill, more screws, screw drivers, screw driver bits, and tape (I am not sure who suggested that or why) we got to drill bits. Once again, we went back and forth over size - whoever said size doesn´t matter was an idiot - it does - at least in this case. I again settled for something that wasn´t quite what I wanted and told myself that I would…..make it work.

Next I stopped at the grocery and purchased some 7-up. I planned on using this as a mixer with the bottle of gin Susan brought from the States after her trip home. It was a beautiful day and Sue and I had plans of sitting in the sun on our roof sipping gin and make-shift tonics. I started home and met Sue at the internet café - we then headed to the lumber store/furniture maker. On our way into town, I had dropped off measurements of what I needed to build my bed. They were going to cut things to size for me. I needed 13 boards to complete my project. When we returned to pick up the boards, they were just finishing. The beauty of it all is that the boards (each 2 meters by 22 cm x 3 cm) cost $2.50. To have them all planed and cut to size, costs an additional zero dollars. What a great deal!!! There are some problems however, all the cutting is done with out guards or guides and is completely freehand. The measuring is also a little suspect. Whatever, I was excited to start, I paid the guy, and he graciously thanked me for my continued business - I have now used him 3 times and am a ¨regular.¨ A cab pulled up and we loaded our boards and headed home.

This is where the fun begins!!! The boards were close to the right size, but not quite. I had to cut off a cm here or there to get things close to what I needed - this was a difficult task - using my leatherman to saw through 22cm of hardwood - I did it though and was proud of myself for. . . . making it work. I then started to assemble the parts to make the bed. I needed to drill a few holes - the drill I borrowed was from the AMWAE office (Sue´s office) and it has a short in it and no reverse. So, when you pull the trigger it is hit or miss whether it will actually work. To drill one hole it took about 50 pulls of the trigger - how frustrating. I struggled through the process and the drill bit I had was way too small, so when I tried to put in the lag screws it became a nearly impossible task - one that even my leatherman struggled to tackle. I managed to more or less, put the bed together - the screws stuck out of the wood like little pins and I new this was not going to do. So, I went to a ferretería close to my house to find bolts. The place I stopped into appeared to be just like all the others I had seen - looks can be deceiving though. The owner just happened to own the apartment that Andrea (my counterpart) lives in - and he spoke a little English. In no time, I had bolts in my hand and I also decided to buy a screw driver as well - so I could remove the lag screws that were more than likely stuck fast. I returned rather content with myself and went to work removing the lag screws - I broke the screwdriver within 5 minutes - that should tell you how ¨stuck¨ the screws were. So, I returned to the leatherman, pulled out its screw driver attachment and went to work unscrewing the lag screws. This activity was what I deemed the fast track to carpel tunnel syndrome. Finally, I installed the bolts, got everything together and finished the project. The bed is awesome and I spent under $40 to build the whole thing - including all the nails, screws, and lag screws that I didn´t need.

The whole project took about 4 hours. Unfortunately, it used up my relaxing on the roof drinking gin and tonic time. Perhaps, next weekend, I´ll be able to soak up some rays and relax with a refreshing drink. I calculated in my head that had I been at home, with my tools, and a Lowes 10 minutes away, I could have completed this project in about….4 hours. Yes, the same amount of time because I would have made 5 trips to Lowes and been side tracked by phone calls, watching the Indians on TV, and about 10 other projects I would have had going on at the same time. The number of swear words would have been equal. The only difference is that I would have paid about $120 to build my bed in the States and I wouldn´t have had this great cultural experience. It is all perspective I guess. I was so proud of what I built that I am already planning on bed frame #2 in a couple of weeks - even if it means I have to use the same dysfunctional tools.

I have to give a quick thanks to Matt and Heather Raymond - who at our goodbye party, gave Susan and I the Leatherman. Without their generous gift, I´d still be trying to cut the wood with a butter knife and my teeth.

Jeremy

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Comments

[Sparky]

Heh.
Yeah, I'm a fan of building my own furniture. But whenever I say to someone that I built my own bedframe they go into that "HOLY CRAP" mode, assuming I've duct-taped my mattress to the wall or something. I don't know why people spend $100 for something that could be built stronger for $50... Ah, well. Good piece.