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Published: August 10th 2007
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Hey you
This is a quote from the "Rules of Traveling" section of Istanbul's Metro Tram
and Bus map - freely distributed to passengers (in Turkish and English). Rule # 7
out of 9.
Quote:
"You cannot take pictures by camera or photographic apparatus, make queries and
interviews or execute social and commercial activities without having permission
certificate."
I humbly present to the Turkish transport authorities -
* Are people with high photographical memory exempt from this, subject to fines,
or feasibly lobotomy for repeat offenders?
* Is asking for directions considered a "query" and therefor permitted only to
"permission certificate" holders?
* Does smiling to a person in the seat next to you constitute a "social
activity"?
* Can one doodle, without a permit, a business plan or design a revolutionary
internal combustion engine on a napkin, while commuting on your lines - without
falling into the undesirable "commercial activity" category? (Assuming, of
course, that long term financial gains in the above mentioned two examples are
highly possible.)
ANTALIA
Great little town on the Mediterranean. Cool old harbor. What else would you
really like to know?.
CAPPADOCIA
A region in central Turkeys with
"conspira-Z"
guess where they might have hidden the missing Iraqi Scad missiles? one of the most outlandish landscapes on the
planet - you have to Google it (image) to see. My camera went to digital heaven
in my first week in Turkey, even though it was a sinner camera. (I did use it for
a few risque pictures in the past. No samples for you !)
Try
http://images.google.com/images?q=cappadocia&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
ISTANBUL -
A city on two continents and in the past a capitol for two different religious
empires. Bla, Bla, Bla.
Europe meets Asia Minor. Bla, Bla, Bla.
Istanbul is a great city - entitle to a place on your
150-places-I-want-to-see-before-I _____________ list. You can put in your own
limiting time frame - since I strongly believe in the elasticity of time - I will
be the last one to margin your creativity.
A REAL EXPOSE' - I did look into the tall pretty minarets that are protruding
next to all great mosques in the city. I have a very strong suspicion that the
Turkish government did buy Saddam's missing Scads, (at great bazaar discount
prices) and are currently housing them in these tall slander structures. What a
better place to hide them then clear in the open, with Allah's
ever present
watchful eye on guard? If any members of the honorable Islamic faith are reading
this and want to raise the same outcry that they did with the cartoon in the
Danish press last February - be my guests. It helps circulation.
AND NOW:
Back to the ever changing points rating system. Life is all about adapting to
change (from words of wisdom by ConfuZeevous)
I here by announce the acceptance and adaptation of the SAT scoring system of
1600 points, for my travel updates. Just like the Scholastic Aptitude Test aka
Scholastic Assessment Test - I present you with:
SAT - Scoring Analysis Turkey
(50 points allocated to every category.)
* 33 points for Turkey's overzealous loudspeakers installers - thanks for the
screeching invitations to payers, 5 times a day, you help project into my brain
while in any Turkish city.
* 41 points for the hundreds of shoe stores in Istanbul - I deducted 9 because
most men's shoes are either black or brown and only a few glossy-white ones here
and there for the aficionado pimps among us.
* 50 points for the Turkish politeness - I deducted 7 for the
low placement on
the Zeev's Smile Scale but had to give them back cause they asked so nicely.
* 50 to Turkish helpful citizens.
* 31 points for the street hustlers. Even they were more polite then in any other
county I have been to. I did deduct 19 just cause I loath this profession.
* 50 points if you are a stray cat in Turkey - there are many of you and all
seem to be on the top side of the weight scale. (I did not say "fat" due to cats
highly sensitive nature)
* 10 point for the Turkish bath - how did you managed to get every tourist feel
so guilty for not going to one in Turkey at a way over-priced admission cost.
* 51 point for the people of Turkey for managing to always look so industrious -
even while doing nothing.
* 50 point for the very gentle conduct of most people I came in contact with in
Turkey.
* 22 point for charging a very high European-like movie ticket price. The points
are still high cause the movie I saw was good! ("V for Vendetta" - I recommend).
Loss 12 points
Nursing
used to be a nurse till the malpractice lawsuit for having an intermission during the movie.
* 3 points for Pamakule. A great mineral springs location destroyed by tourism.
* 50 to Turkish tea. Excellent! And 4 more points cause they separate it from the
sugar unlike the Moroccans that delinquently drown the tea in it.
* Turkey loses 100 points cause my camera died and I didn't shoot any pictures
for two weeks till I got a replacement.
* 41 points for the eternal fires that burn in Chimera some 15 kilometers from
the old city of Olympus for a couple of thousand years. Fire straight out of a
rock. I can only vouch, personally, for two hours.
* 39 points for the shoe shines all over the country for being so "picturesque".
* 217 points for saying "no!" to Bush's attempt to bribe them for permission to
attack Iraq from Turkish land.
* Lose 27 points for not having much blue in the "Blue Mosque". but give some for
pretty building and free entry.
* 50 points for having elected a woman as ruler (Tansu Ciller, 1993-1996) -
something the US will unlikely ever do.
* 50 points for many book stores in Istanbul -
Welcome to Turkey
want some fries with that? I saw more during a walk in one
street, then in half of Los Angeles county.
* Points for having such strong ties to Greek Mythology.
* For fragrant spring blooms during my hike in Chimera. Orange blossom, almond
blooms, spring flowers, etc.
* For naming their Policemen "Dolphins" on account of the black and red coveralls
they wear. Sure beats "Pigs" and I bet they do sweat in the summer.
* For a reach History - Bla, Bla,...Bla
* For interesting Geography - Bla, Bla,...Bla
* For great Archeological heritage - Good Job !! Better luck next time around.
An important note -
From the first part of the acceptance speech, I intend to give the members of the
Pulitzer Price committee or any other local supermarket chain with "community
awareness inclinations" and a literature price in form of discount coupons,
should they hand me their significant award - as they should! :
"Thank you, dear "Spell Check Software", for unshackling my creative juices from
the binding dungeons of English's coincidental connection between spelling and
pronunciation."
Love you ( I am aware of saying it and mean it)
stuck
I knew i should have oil the shaft first Zeev
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pentiump
Oz Ziddi
Cool, not cool? That is the question
'Sup. Although I've never lived there, I'm from Turkey, I am. Everything was interesting except the minaret comment...not cool dude, not cool!