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Published: February 11th 2007
Today I woke up in my frosted pink room drenched in sweat. As I climbed off of my rock-hard Thai mattress to switch on my fan I realized that our electricity must have gone off. Again. I look outside and see the sun is already up, which means I have overslept and will be late to work. Again.
I grab my towel and rush into the shower. I use that word loosely here as our shower is actually a large tiled room semi-detached from the house and consists of a shower head and an upside down spicket-like spout next to the shower head. Because the water pressure from the shower head is so low we use the spicket instead. The water shoots up and rainbows back down like a mini-indoor waterfall which we stand under. I should also mention that we don't have hot water. It's also important to note here that our water is fed from a well into a tank above the shower. The tank runs dry sometimes. Just as it does this morning when I'm already late.
So I run outside to our little jungle backyard and manually turn on the pump. I finish showering and as I am putting on my school uniform I hear spewing. This means our tank has overflowed. So I run outside half dressed to kill the pump. Sigh. I leave for school.
I hop onto the motorbike and begin my trek to school. Since there are no road signs anywhere you have to watch carefully for the turn. My hair is still wet form the waterfall/shower so by the time I actually get to work the bottom half of my hair is wind dried and the top half that was covered by my power-puff-girl-style helmet is still wet. It's the worst kind of helmet hair.
As I walk upstairs to my classroom one of my students stops me in the hall. I'm not sure why he isn't in class, but since I haven't made it there either this morning, I let the issue go. He reaches his tiny hand into his pocket and pulls out a warm piece of candy. “For you, Tee-Cha. It good”. Normally I decline goodies from my kids. Their favorite snacks include sea weed and fish flavored chips, sea weed strips, and menthol candy. It tastes like Halls. Blahak. But today I accept the lint coated offer. Yep. It's BerryMint. It tastes like the red syrup medicine I ate as a child so I delicately spit it into the garbage as I walk into the class.
After school is over and the sun has gone down, I get back on my motorbike and zip home. I'm tired, hot, and covered in chalkboard dust and the smell of children. I realize that soon I will also have a nice thin coating of bug guts. Through my helmet visor I can see the rather large and unidentifiable insects being violently deflected from the bike, my helmet, and occasionally my body. Ulgh. I just want a shower!
I pull up to the abode and unlock the pad locks, flick on the lights. Sigh. No power. So I call the power company. It's hard to dial my cell phone because I accidentally changed the language setting back to Thai and now I can't change it back. Eventually I get through and explain where my house is and that I still don't have power. Since I don't have a street or house name/number it is very difficult and just as I think I am making progress my phone shuts off. Sigh. I get back onto the motorbike and zip through the mist of bug guts to buy more cell phone minutes. I call back and they the power should be on soon.
I hang up and behold, there is light!!! I gather myself for a shower and flick on lights as I go that direction. The floor below the walls and speckled with gecko shit from the little creatures that live along our walls. I see a huge spider in the bathroom that has a leg span as wide as my palm. So I grab the spray cleaner and try to drown it. The little sucker is fast. It scurries around and eventually I pummel it with the tinfoil box. It dies and I sweep him and his parts outside.
Finally! A shower! It's cold and it feels refreshing. I settle in after cooking noodles and begin to watch Jerry Springer on cable. Before I can even see the first fight I hear the grumble of the garbage truck. It's been about a month since our last pick-up.
This must be a rouge garbage man because now it is almost midnight. I watch from my window as he drives up and approaches my house. He turns into my neighbors yard and begins to turn around. Hum. That's no good. So I grab my flip flops and chase down the truck as he turns out of our street. I lead him back to our garbage pile and help remove the month's worth of build-up. Yuck. Now I have to shower again. Sigh.
I climb into my hard bed and be sure the fan is switched on. It is. Hopefully it will still be on when I wake up in the morning.
If not, it's fine. It'll be Saturday and we're all going to the beach to play. When I first got here the beach was my favorite thing here. Now the people, way of life, culture, my kiddos in class, are all my favorites. Life without a microwave is different, but it's great.
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Malaysian in Kansas
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Very funny............ Good one!!
Almost have coffee all over my keyboard, reading yours blogs. Remind me of days back home in Malaysia, the heat.. the huge spider, the gecko shit... How you take shower...HAHA!! Good to hear that you are still enjoying the simple life in Phuket. Thanks for sharing.