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Published: December 14th 2006
Absolutely Stunning!
.....and you thought all they had to offer was Rod Stewart and Haggis!!!Christopher:
After having visited so many places, it should come as no surprise that Ed and Matt are finding it hard to find the time to write their blogs. So they’ve delegated the task of writing about Scotland to me. After spending 2 weeks staying with the boys (see Brighton and Bath entries) I spent 5 weeks travelling around the continent and returned just in time to join them on a Scottish odyssey. Two other friends of ours from Sydney, Annette and Paul, had also just arrived in London so it was something of a reunion. Back home we all spent a lot of time together and had missed each other terribly, so we were all excited to have this chance to both catch up and travel together. I figured, with us all cashed up and thrilled to see each other, surely there’d be minimal drama and lots of laughs… And while I was right about the laughs, it seems I underestimated our collective propensity for theatrics!
Matt has developed this disturbing habit of leaving at the last possible moment for any flight, so we found ourselves hauling ass to get to the airport on time. Of course, the
flight was delayed, so Ed and I headed straight for the magazines and Nets and Paul, still jetlagged, promptly fell asleep. Finally within the confines of our little regional aeroplane, Ed and Nets re-discovered their shared joy of cruel humour and were soon making fun of everyone around them. Paul and I slept to escape them. Matt read magazines and pretended not to know any of us. It wouldn’t be the last time!
At Edinburgh airport we picked up our hire car and headed off to our hotel. In an attempt to minimise accommodation costs, Matt had again booked us in as needing a fold out bed for a “child” in one of the rooms. And again, I had the dubious privilege of being the “12 year old.” So while the others checked in, I loitered outside the hotel, and then got to sneak in while the desk clerk was otherwise occupied. We’re all class! I think the scariest part of the whole exercise was pretending to be Annette and Paul’s offspring. ((shudder)).
The next morning started really well. Matt started to drive away, not realising Paul was still loading his stuff into the boot of the car.
Edinburgh Castle
.......so good, I ran around a second time! (gggrrrrrrr) Amused, I kept quiet, but alas, Annette’s screams and Paul’s bellows alerted Matt to his mistake and we had to stop. Once we were all safely in the car, we headed into the centre of Edinburgh. Our first stop was to be the Castle.
Edinburgh Castle sits atop a hill, overlooking the city. The Royal Mile is a road that runs from the castle down to Hollyrood Palace, the Queen’s residence in Scotland. Having already seen the Castle, Ed and Matt decided to spend their time wandering the Mile down towards Hollyrood while the rest of us went inside. Annette had her phone with her, so we were to call the boys once we were done and we would all meet up again. Surely such a simple plan could not go wrong!?!?!?
The castle is a fascinating place. Cobbled pathways that climb up to the peak, iron gates and stone ramparts, royal apartments, old gaols… There’s even a graveyard for soldiers’ dogs! And of course, Scotland’s Crown Jewels. Not to mention the views over the city from the castle walls, which are breathtaking.
Now Paul has a love of all things historic and war-related, so he wanted
Annette and Paul
Would YOU go on a long car trip with these people???? to check out a gift shop. I told them I was going to go to the bathroom and would meet them at the exit. Now, I don’t wanna bitch, or criticise. But if you were in a foreign country, travelling with friends, and one of your friends was without any means of communication, and you had agreed to meet said friend in a certain place… How long would you wait before wandering off without your friend? Apparently around 5 mins is Net’s and Paul’s waiting threshold! So off they went to meet Ed and Matt. Meanwhile, I reached the exit, and, assuming they were still on their way down from the gift shop, stood and waited. And waited. And waited some more. Long story short, after running round the castle again to try and find them, not believing they would have just left me, I made my way back to the car in a rather foul mood. Eventually they turned up. Ed had the good sense to turn the video camera off, so my tantrum was not recorded. But Annette apologised, which is something of a minor miracle, so we moved on.
Next stop was the Royal Yacht Britannia,
now decommissioned, and turned into a floating museum. The highlight was the bedroom where the marriages of both Charles and Di and Andrew and Fergie were consummated, both couples having honeymooned on the yacht. Ever the model of propriety, the Queen and her hubby had separate bedrooms on board, which were remarkable in their simplicity. The dining room is filled with items the Royal Family have collected on their sea voyages - if you’re at all interested in either ships or the Royals, you should check the Britannia out.
After a great seafood lunch in Leith, we headed to Rosslyn Church, made famous by ‘The Da Vinci Code.’
The Church itself is under scaffolding and a metal roof, to allow the old sandstone to dry out, having become saturated and crumbly over the centuries. This place is well worth a visit, even if you’re not a fan of the book - the designs and carvings inside are amazing. And it is still a functioning church - they had just had a wedding there when we arrived.
Now Annette had only one request for our Scottish holiday - a ghost tour. We all thought it would be good
for a giggle, so we chose one that looked suitably scary but had several hours to kill before it started. So we headed to the fabulously named “CC Blooms,” a famous gay club in Edinburgh’s pink triangle. Alas, the place was almost completely empty, although a group of confused straight boys did wander in, then promptly hurried out when they realised the “kind of establishment” they were in! We had a few drinks, figuring the ghosts would be more fun if we were tipsy, then headed back up to the Royal Mile to join our tour.
Our tour guide was funny, sassy, informative and cute in a freaky-nocturnal-undead-loving-kinda way, but not really scary in the least. And not one ghost or poltergeist reared its head. But we tried valiantly to curb our cynicism and even faked scared, as the photo attached will attest. It was all good for a laugh though, and Nets was satisfied. (Once Paul finally got the burger he was craving, he was satisfied too.) We spent the night in Dunfurlin.
Our plan for the next day was to head to Inverness, via Stirling and the Trossachs. Our first stop was the William Wallace Monument,
Oh my God!!!!!!
Is that a ghost???? a great stone tower on top of a hill. Predictably, while Ed, Matt and I trudged up the hill in the drizzle, Annette and Paul found a shuttle bus to carry them up! Once we finally reached the monument, we faced several hundred winding stairs to reach the top. As you climb the tower, there are interesting exhibits on the floors, telling the tale of Wallace. The views from the top of the tower are well worth the climb, affording a birds-eye look at the Scottish countryside.
Next stop, albeit a brief one, was Stirling Castle. Ed and Matt had been inside before… And for some reason, I wasn’t keen to enter another castle with Nets and Paul, so we had a good look from the car park and continued on our way! Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll return one day and see it properly.
As we journeyed north towards Inverness, I think we were all blown away by the natural beauty of Scotland. Personally, I had spent the months preceding this trip visiting the mountains of Switzerland and Austria, the coastlines of the French Riviera, Montenegro and Croatia, the Greek Islands and the countrysides of Provence and
Tuscany. I never really expected Scotland to rival those places for jaw-dropping scenery but I was in for a very pleasant surprise.
The roads wind their way through valleys surrounded by green hills splashed with purple and grey. Around every second turn is another picturesque babbling brook (Matt’s favourites!) as well as raging rivers and little waterfalls of rainwater run-off. The tops of the hills and mountains were often shrouded in mist, lending an ethereal atmosphere to it all and the little black-faced sheep that dotted the fields made us feel like we were driving through a postcard.
And then there were the Lochs. Foreigners could be forgiven for thinking it’s all about Loch Ness, and we were heading there eagerly, make no mistake. But there are so many others that make for a rewarding visit. We all loved Loch Katrine in particular. If you ever get chance to visit this country, take the time to head away from the cities and drive these roads. You won’t regret it.
We stopped regularly to drink it all in, and for me to wade into the water in an attempt to bring down my fever, having picked up a
vicious flu somewhere on my travels! On one of these stops, Matt and I discovered a fishy new friend, lying on the banks of a river. We snuck him back to the car to introduce him to Nets, but she didn’t really take to him!
It took us all day to reach Inverness with our frequent stops but it was great to be able to explore without feeling rushed. We checked in to our hotel, and Nets and Paul had to do a load of washing in the sink, having given new meaning to travelling light by bringing only 3 changes of clothes! Eventually we headed out for a few drinks and a fantastic gourmet meal at a new restaurant by the river. The river is bathed in orange light at night and even Paul having a breakdown about leaving his jacket in the cab couldn’t detract from the peaceful beauty of our walk along the banks.
The peace was broken though, when we got back to the hotel and I discovered that the wet washing had thoughtfully been hung above my bed, and had dripped all over it. I love Annette and Paul to death, but I
Loch Ness
Happy little travellers on the shores of Loch Ness was beginning to wonder by this stage if we were suitable travelling companions!! It’s ok though, because I had my revenge. Paul had been mystified throughout our journey by the appearance of little barcode stickers on his clothing. The stickers were the same as the ones stuck on our luggage by the airline, and he was beginning to hatch paranoid conspiracy theories about his bag being opened and rifled through by airport staff. So tonight I finally confessed to pulling the stickers off our bags and sticking them to him every time he changed clothes. He didn’t really see the funny side… But the rest of us did, and that’s the main thing!
In the morning we headed off fairly early to Loch Ness. Now I know I’ve raved already about how gorgeous Scotland is, but monster or no monster, this place knocked our socks off. The body of water is just huge, surrounded by green hills that turn a bluey-grey in the distance. Once again, a light mist lay across the hills but the tops were visible over it, making them appear to float. We found a spot to walk down to the water and were surprised to
discover reddish coloured stones on the bank and in the water. We spent quite a while here, taking dozens of photos, chatting to a couple of other tourists and getting hissed at by the resident swan!
As we continued to drive around the loch, we stopped to see castle ruins along its edges and boats streaking across the surface. The sun was bright and the sky clear, making the water shine a brilliant blue and I knew when I got back to Sydney and people asked me what my favourite places in Europe were, Loch Ness would be high on the list.
We came to a little town at the northern end of the loch and found a little café for brunch. Nets confused the waitress with her request for a Devonshire Tea. Apparently that’s just what Aussies call Scones with Jam and Cream. Here they’re just called… Well, scones with jam and cream! A couple of locals at the next table were visibly amused at the conversation coming from the table full of obnoxious Australians… But the latest drama was yet to unfold.
Note to self (and to all others who find themselves in her presence)
Annette makes a friend
The only local that didn't run from her. - Annette doesn’t like to be called a cow. Perhaps they were disappointed that we hadn’t seen the Loch Ness monster, but our favourite volatile couple decided to do their best monster impressions and erupted into a rip-roaring fight before our meals had even arrived. It wasn’t long before Ed, Matt and I were alone at our table… We finished our breakfasts then went to see if we could calm the situation down. Things were decidedly chilly when we all piled back into the car, but all was not lost. I had rescued the “Devonshire Tea” from the table when we left and Matt and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
We headed southwest now, to explore the Isle of Skye. We amused ourselves on this drive with the Cleo Bachelor of the Year nominees and by making lists of our favourite crazy celebrities as well as other, unpublishable lists! We also continued our hunt for Highland cattle. We were determined to get a photo of a “hairy cow.” We drove across the bridge to the island, to discover yet more breathtaking scenery… And Matt’s penchant for chasing sheep! It started innocently enough, with him just screaming out the window at
Come back little sheep!
We never knew Matt was part New Zealander! them as we drove by (!!!!!!!!) But it all turned a little weird when he pulled us up on the side of the road and announced that he was going to catch one! And off he went, chasing several of the cute little black-faced ones!!!!! Needless to say, while he did fail to snag a sheep, he succeeded in reducing us to hysterical laughter… And it was all caught on video, ready for his next significant birthday party.
We stopped in a little town for lunch and a spot of souvenir shopping before heading off again, naively planning to drive around the circumference of the island. Alas, we ran out of time, wanting to catch the ferry back to the mainland, but not before we finally spotted a fine example of a hairy cow!
Our destination for the night was Glasgow and it was still a fair distance away so we hit the road again and watched the sun set on our last day in Scotland as we travelled.
The next day, we had a few hours to kill before our flight back to London so we went for a walk to check out Glasgow. Now I
What a sexy Scot!
William Wallace, eat your heart out! don’t know if the local residents like to keep the highlights of this city to themselves, or whether there just aren’t terribly many highlights to be had, but we tired of the city fairly quickly so set out on another drive into the countryside, to farewell the hills and lochs. It was this morning that we finally spotted a red squirrel, as well as a van full of travelling gypsies, who yelled at each other and glared at us menacingly. We left the gypsies to their quarrels, though not before Ed tried to capture them on video (!!!!) and headed for the airport back in Glasgow.
And so ends our Scottish expedition. Big, big thanks to Ed and Matt for making it all happen for us, thanks to all four of my fabulous friends for all the laughs and entertainment. Thanks to the people of Scotland for their warmth and friendliness and thanks to the country itself for being so freakin beautiful!
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N/G
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Bonnie Scotland
Sounds like five loonies on the loose however did you survive?. You must really start behaving when you all get back to Oz. Love N/G