Uruguay

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Uruguay
We took a 3 hour ferry from BA across the River Plate to Colonia del Sacramento in Uruguay. Yes, 3 hours across a river. It’s a big river. A big, brown one.
The company was BuqueBus and we got the tickets a few days in advance from their terminal at the port for about £30 return. There was a hydrofoil option which took an hour and you could also go directly to Montevideo in 5 hours.
The trip over was good. The main seating area was very comfortable, resulting in the amazing sleeping woman dropping off almost immediately only to be awoken by the entertainment a few minutes later - an opera singer who went down a storm with the older passengers and saw most of the younger ones dashing up onto the deck.
Up there was great. A nice sunny day, cheap food and beer, and lovely brown water. The music was decidedly dodgy but, that’s what IPods are made for. Sat out there for pretty much the whole journey and, thanks to the cooling river breeze, had the sunburn to prove it.
Colonia del Sacramento
Arrived in Colonia and took a taxi to our hostel, Casa las Teresa, which was to cost us a whopping £12 per night. We can highly recommend this place, for couples especially. It’s more of a Guest House than a hostel so very quiet. The rooms were basic but clean and comfortable and Teresa herself couldn’t do enough for us.
We headed straight for tourist information to see what there was to do as when Rachael had originally packed back in the UK, rather than bring my gleaming brand new South America guide book that I’d paid £20 for she packed the 2004 edition that a friend at work had lent her instead. Not only was it an older edition, it was also missing the Uruguay section!
Colonia’s old town is a Unesco World Heritage Site. I can’t see why. It was nice enough but it wasn’t particularly old and didn’t seem to have an awful lot of heritage.
Hungry, we found a place to eat and ordered “Chivito de la Casa para dos”. This is an enormous plate with two piles of steak, ham & cheese topped with fried eggs in the middle surrounded by a lettuce, tomato & onion salad, Russian salad & a mass of chips. All for about £5 between us.
In the evening we had a wander around and found a rooftop bar with great views of the sun setting just next to an island out in the bay/river. They served a dark beer called Negro Modelo which was very nice. Rachael had a rare nice glass of white wine (decent white wine is hard to come by in S America) and with our drinks came a complimentary plate of snacks - bread sticks, olives and cheese.
The following day we went to hire a quad bike only to be told they were for one person only. Instead we hired something that was a cross between a Noddy car and a Popemobile that we’d seen a lot of old people driving about in. Street cred out of the window we had a drive all around Colonia for a few hours with a stop on a beach midway through where we braved the oh so attractively coloured water. The water itself was lovely and warm (as it looked like it would be) but when you scooped some up in your hands it was actually crystal clear (???). It must be the mud on the bottom, which felt great between your toes.
Spent most of the night back in the rooftop bar. Long enough to get 2 plates of snacks in fact.
Montevideo
Next we took the bus to Uruguay’s capital and checked into the Che Lagarto hostel (our second hostel of the trip). The room had seen better days and was probably once quite grand - very high ceilings and a balcony that overlooked the main square. Again, reasonably clean and comfortable. The staff were great, very helpful compared to those in Hostel Inn, Iguazu.
The best way to describe Montevideo is that it’s like a mini-Buenos Aires but without the smell of dog shit and slightly more expensive.
Oh, and it’s got beaches. Half decent beaches in fact.
We went for a walk by the main beach mid-afternoon without taking towels which we should have done in hindsight as many locals were only just making their way down from their nearby apartments deck chairs and snacks in hand probably having just finished work.
Bizarrely in Montevideo, the long beach road is lined with a lot of what we’d describe in England as blocks of council flats. Anywhere else in the world would surely cash in on the sea views available here and build posh apartment blocks, hotels & restaurants but no, here they hand them over to Uruguays equivalents of the Gallaghers from Shameless (???).
Had a few drinks on the night and to eat just shared a plate of “Papas con salsa Champignones” - chips covered in what looked and tasted like Heinz Cream of Mushroom Soup. Sounds disgusting but was actually quite nice.
After this we headed back to the hostel. Rachael, having only averaged about 14 hours per day of sleep in the last week, went to bed tired so I went into the bar for a quick drink where I got chatting to a lad from Burnage in Manchester (no, he didn’t know Liam or Noel) and his girlfriend who was from the midlands somewhere and some mad Chileans we’d met briefly in Colonia the night before. A quick drink turned into several.
On our second day we headed to the beach where we only got about an hour of sun (should have gone the day before!). Having been overspending quite considerably so far (despite the cheap prices) it was today that we acquainted ourselves with the joys of the supermarket lunch - ham & cheese sandwiches, banana’s, cold empanada’s and a packet of crisps.
We got a taxi back to our hostel and I asked to be dropped off right opposite on the other side of the square at which point the driver jokingly asked if I was the President. Not only did our room overlook the main square it was right opposite the Presidential Palace. Not bad for £15 a night.
After a couple of drinks on the evening we headed back for a quick drink (again) in the hostel bar before bed. At this point Rachael got chatting to an Irish girl and I started playing pool with her male friend and his Australian mate. They both had these handgrips around the bottoms of their beer bottles which the Aussie proudly explained to me were called “stubby holders” and “kept your beer cold and your hand dry” and that he always brought loads with him when he went travelling. Ingenious.
It was now gone midnight but being a bit younger (or cooler?) than us these, and several others, were all just about to head out into town for the night and asked us if we wanted to join them which we did. The same row of bars we’d had a quiet drink in earlier were now heaving and we found one with live music on which the locals were bouncing up and down to. Why is it always so much fun watching foreigners dance?
After a few more drinks we headed back for an early start to head out of Montevideo the next morning.
La Pedrera
We’d originally planned to head to Punta del Este from Montevideo, however, we’d forgotten to book any accommodation. When it finally dawned on us we needed to do this there wasn’t any left, however, a hostel in a place called La Pedrera seemed to be the only place in Uruguay that had a room for the next 2 nights. We’d never heard of it but it had a beach and sounded alright so we booked it.
Whereas everywhere else we’d been to so far we’d arrived at an airport or a reasonably sized bus station and jumped straight in a taxi in La Pedrera the bus dropped us off by the side of a road. A small road. A small road with not a taxi in sight.
Luckily, there was a sign pointing us in the direction of our hostel, La Viajero almost immediately. There was no distance mentioned on it either so it was obviously very close by. Obviously.
After a 30 minute walk in 30 degree mid afternoon heat laden with backpacks we finally arrived at our hostel. For future reference we made a mental note that “peaceful location, close to nature” actually means “middle of f*****g nowhere”.
By now it was about 4.30pm. We got a taxi back into “town” and went and lay on the beach for an hour or so. From here we walked up he main street (actually the only street) where we had a very nice meal of Gnochhi with tomato sauce for me and salad for Rachael. By now it was about 8 and still light so we agreed to walk back. By the time we were just half way there it was pitch black, the darkness only illuminated by the odd car that came past every few minutes. Each car beeped at us - we established this probably meant that they were saying they’d seen us in case we didn’t make it for whatever reason. Reassuring.
Finally we arrived at the sign, which was only slightly visible from about 5cm, directing us off the main road down the country path to our hostel. Here it somehow got even darker & quieter. I think I did a pretty good job of pretending I wasn’t as scared as Rachael was.
The following day we spent on the beach. Despite covering ourselves from head to toe in factors from 20 to 30 we both ended up looking like lobsters. Made it home in the light his time and cooked some pasta and tomato sauce in the hostel kitchen. Unfortunately while buying the pasta & sauce we’d neglected to buy any wine or beer on the basis that they’d “definitely sell some at the hostel£. They didn’t. Early night for an early bus in the morning.


Punta del Este
(Finally) arrived in Punta del Este the following day.
This is considered South America’s premier beach resort. A bit like their equivalent of somewhere like St Tropez. As with when we arrived in the other beach paradise, Rio, it was raining heavilly again!
We arrived at our hostel to realise it wasn’t actually a hostel but a back room in someone’s house that he’d decided to advertise on the internet for £15 per night.
Now, we’ve stayed in some dumps over the years but this place topped them all. It was like a prison cell. Two tiny bunk beds (it was advertised as a double) and the grottiest, grimiest bathroom you’ve ever seen. Immediately we decided to dump our bags and head out into the rain to find something else. We felt quite guilty at this point as the bloke was very nice and was explaining how we were his first customers and offering to give us a lift into town (I later checked my email and found he’d also offered to pick us up from the bus station). After about a mile we came across Hotel Oasis which was a 3* with rooms for £43 per night, nice rooms. Very nice compared to what we’d just seen. Budget out of the window we booked 3 nights without hesitation. I got lumbered with the job of heading back to our cell to get the bags and make the excuses to our nice but unhygienic host, which was great fun.
Somehow we managed to spend the next 6 days in Punta del Este. Why? I’ve absolutely no idea. The place wasn’t particularly lively & had nothing to see or do. We took a bus to La Barra one day which was, allegedly, where all the action was but we couldn’t find any. The highlight of this bus trip was an American girl sat behind us who managed to use the word “like” 22 times in one minute. I was awestruck and wished I had some kind of certificate to give her.
After 3 days of luxury we moved to a £20 a night place right next to the bus station which was absolutely fine, the name escapes me - it is right next door to Hotel America. We also found a fantastic restaurant called Avenida Nueva which served a delicious Entrecot for around £3 (so good we went twice in 3 days). As there was so little to do we visited the Casino in the Conrad hotel twice where I broke the habit of a lifetime and actually won on both visits giving us 2 free days. This Casino was very nice, similar to what I’d imagine Las Vegas Casino’s to be like. Minimum bet on the roulette tables was $2 and they also had a poker room where NL Hold Em was $150 minimum, $600 maximum buy in. One more win on roulette and I was going to give it a go but bottled it in the end. Playing online and playing against a table of seasoned semi pro’s, some of whom have probably got yachts moored half a mile away, are two different things (and I’m not very good online).
On the afternoon of day 6 the sun came out and we got to spend a few hours on the beach at last!
The following day we finally left for Colonia to get the ferry back to BA. When you arrive at the port in Colonia masses of buses all get there at the same time and you then have to queue up to get your boarding pass (for about an hour) and then go and stand in another queue full of the same people who were in the first queue for another hour in order to board. Naturally, the boat left late.
Writing this a few weeks later on we still ask ourselves 2 or 3 times a day, every day “Why did we spend 12 days in Uruguay?” and, as yet, we’re unable to come up with any answer other than we refused to leave Punta del Este until we’d had a day on the beach.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s so close to BA you can’t not go but my advice to other travellers is to either just visit Colonia or Montevideo or only go to Punta del Este if it’s high season or the weather forecast looks good for several days ahead. And if you do go to Punta be sure to order the Entrecot at Avenida Nueva.

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