CRIPTS Tour of South America

make sure you check out this insane topless party...strobe lights, dj from 11pm, free punch, accomodation and mean breaky the next morning on Mum's credit card just dont tell the parentals R.S.V.P asap via text only, no calls to be made to the home number, strict invite only o crap, i didn't push the private mail button! aparently noise control don't have gps...guts! and you know how you're enjoying guinea pig as a delicacy?...well we tried dog...pixie was suprisingly tasty once the fur was removed tell me have you been to visit the bat who has a tongue measuring 150% of his body? o wait that colony of mamal is about to set off on a trip

Please make sure you send me photos of the topless party - excluding relatives. And anyway before we go we are setting up surveillance cameras that are noise activated and also have alcohol sensors with GPS locator signals linked to my toy so I will be able to tell they have moved. Pixie is probably too tough to eat - she is a lean mean fighting machine built for speed and syle!

OK, OK - for the benefit of all the other CRIPTS - yes, I am still alive - just not kicking much. The expensive "plumber" tells me that I should still be go for Peru by the time we hit the bricks - so much for fates's cunning plan! Mind you my previously trim, taut abs do look like they were on the wrong end of a sword fight..........and the enhancements to my wedding tackle (albeit temporary) mean that I can now go for a pee without removing my shorts - just turn on the tap by my knee - Eat your hearts out! Great weather we've been having lately - the storm of the decade over the weekend. No power for 5 hours one night so we pulled the couch up close, stoked up ye olde woodburner, lit the candles, cranked the wind-up radio we keep for nuclear attack and opened up a gold-medal red. You've got to keep things in perspective we thought.... Midst the flickering flames, the pouring rain and the howl of the wind outside, we tried to fantasize that we were already in Peru, 4200 metres high up on the Lares trail. But thoughts of being as cold as a frog's arse with not enough O2, off your tucker, sleep-deprived and particularly with no wine-waiter in sight, were just too terrible to contemplate - so we both bravely hardened up and had another glass of wine.......... Anyway - it's time for my pick-me-ups - my antibiotics, blood pressure pills, prozac, Q10, anti-cholesterol stuff and asprin. Ahhhh, the joys of being a "mature" adult

Wow guys. Not many sleeps to go. Can't wait for the updates. Make sure you send me postcards. It's been so long since I travelled I don't know if I even remember how to carry a back pack... oh no thats right I didn't do much of that anyway. Ruth and Clare best of luck