Joe Blogs - Machu Picchu

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Picchu ees “mountain” yes ?

Machu ees “old” yes ?

Machu Picchu ees “old mountain”.

Huayna ees “young” yes ?

Huayna Picchu ees “young mountain”.

Unnerstan?

Good.

We’ve just got back from two days in Aguas Calientes (or Machu Picchu town as it is now called), a little village at the bottom of Machu Picchu. Up at 5:00am, we didn’t do the Inca Trail (cos we’re old fogeys), but chose to take the train. Due to “the rainy season” we had to drive for an hour and a half through glorious landscape to the station at Ollantaytambo (that’s another fine mess you’ve got me into Stanley). We could see the majestic snowy peaks of the Andes and glaciers in the distance shining in the morning sunlight. Wow!

Once at Ollantaytambo (that’s another fine mess you’ve got me into Stanley), we boarded the Vistadome train and spent another hour and half following the raging Rio Urubamba through beautiful Andean valleys to our destination.

On arrival at Aguas Calientes, we disembarked and were immediately shepherded to the buses for a tour of Machu Picchu (no rest for the wicked). We didn’t climb up to Machu Picchu (cos we’re old fogeys) and the bus took 20 minutes to get to the top winding back and forth through hairpin bends, the view getting more and more breathtaking with each bend.

At the top (which was quite busy) we presented our tickets and entered the site.

There’s a short walk to the entrance to Machu Picchu, with fantastic views, but it’s not until you get into the site itself, through a small opening and then a crack in some rock, that it really hits you. We were a little worried that we’ve done so many amazing things on this trip so far, we might be a little underwhelmed with Machu Picchu, but we needn’t have worried. It was absolutely breathtaking. In fact, it’s difficult to put into words, perhaps some poetry:

(Pause)
(Silence)
(Speechless)
(Pause)
(Silence)
(Gobsmacked)
(Pause)
(Silence)
(Lost For Words)
(Pause)
(Silence)

Yes, I think that captures it.

It’s the whole setting that is just so mind blowing. I mean, you’ve seen the pictures ( Machu Pictures), but you just don’t get the same thing as being there.

The Inca ruins themselves are a 15th century Inca city which they reckon was a place of learning and religious significance. The Incas were really into Nature and believed there were three levels to the Tree of Life, the Underworld, represented by a snake, the Earth, represented by a puma, and the Sky, or Heavens, represented by a condor. Consequently, the city of Machu Picchu is built in the shape of a condor in flight when viewed from above. (Sacsayhuamán - the site of present day Cusco – mmm Cusco - is built in the shape of a puma). I suppose it’s no different to Britain, London is built in the shape of a large cow pat, Birmingham in the shape of a smaller cow pat, Manchester, Leeds, various smaller cow pats and so on. It was built in 1450 and abandoned in 1570 as a consequence of the Spanish invasion of Peru. The Incas took all their treasure with them when they left the city and it has still not been found to this day. They reckn its somewhere in the Amazon jungle.

The site is surrounded by the Andes covered in Amazon rainforest (Brazil has 63% of the Amazon rainforest, Peru has 13%, the rest split between other countries) and I’ve seen it described as “the eyebrows of the jungle”.

The famous peak you see in pictures of Machu Picchu is actually Waynu Picchu. They allow you to climb Huaynu Picchu (though numbers are limited and they only allow a certain number each day) and we did this the next day (hey, I thought you said you were old fogeys). I think it’ s fair to say the climb itself is a little challenging and my trousers got very worried on more than one occasion, but the view is really worth it as you can look down on Machu Picchu and really get an idea of the condor shape.

Anyway, the tour guide was brilliant and took us round the site in a couple of hours. After a great buffet lunch, we were left to our own devices and so spent most of the afternoon just sitting down soaking in the glorious views.

We came back down to Aguas Calientes around 5:00pm and then looked for the hotel. That nice man at Trailfinders really did it again for us as the hotel was absolutely fantastic (Inkaterra - see http://www.inkaterra.com/en/machu-picchu). It is basically built as a little village in the rainforest, with your own individual house complete with private garden and log fire!!! It really made it for us. Early to bed (log fire crackling) we were up at dawn the next day to climb WaynuPicchu and by 9:00am were sitting on an Inca terrace looking down on Machu Picchu. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. We were down my lunch time, lovely buffet again, quick wander around Machu Picchu then back to Inkaterra to sit by the white water of Rio Urubamba with a glass or two of Malbec. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Chill day today, back in Cusco now ( mmmm – Cusco ). Up at 5:00am tomorrow to fly to Quito for a few days in the Galapagos. When will the pleasure end (don’t tell me, I know, 09.04.12). The Galapagos Islands will be the most remote place we have visited on this trip, so I anticipate the next blog update will not be until we return around the 30th March.

We've loved Peru. We've loved the people. We've loved the countryside. How best to descrbe it? Perhaps some poetry:

Oh Peru
(Diddly doo)
With your Andes
And your Feeties
Your llamas
And bananas
And fuuny clothes
Just like pyjamas
What are you to me?

Oh Peru
(Widdly woo)
With your Incas
(Little tinkers)
And your places with funny names.
Like Ollantaytambo (that's another fine mess you've got me into Stanley)
Or Cusco (mmmm - Cusco)
What are you to me?

Oh Peru
(Piddly poo)
With your funny hats
And guinea rats
(Or is it pigs)
And those f*cking ubiquitous pan pipes.
What are you to me?

You are all these things and more.

Would we return?

Are bears Catholic?

STOOL FLASH

I knew something was wrong as soon as I had finished typing the words “ familiar gargantuan eyeless lungfish” and hit 'Publish'. I must have upset Pachapapa and Pachamama because my stomach started rumbling and at about 2:40am the next day, my botty exploded. The best description I can think of is taken from last night’s dessert menu “fudge brownies served in a delicious chocolaty mess”!!

I blocked the toilet (to be fair, I think it was my lungfish that blocked it before, just that Moi took the rap) again and reached for the Imodium. The usual signs have gone up again “Under Construction”, “Men At Work”, “Diversion” and nothing has happened for the last few days. Stuff has been going in, but nothing has been coming out. Thank God we brought the shoehorn.

Moi, by contrast has taken a completely different path. Around the same time, her most accurate description was “cannonballs”, perfect spheres about an inch and a half across. I can imagine them shooting round and round the bowl like some bizarre roulette table with only one slot for it to land in – zero. If only I’d known, I could have bet the farm and I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams. Followed by what she referred to as “assorted dried fruit”, there was a couple of days period of unusual calm which was only broken only yesterday.

“How was it?”, I asked.

“A giant manatee”, she replied!

So, all a little unsettling at the moment I’m afraid. I hope the Galapagos boat has the appropriate facilities or we may end up inadvertently blowing a hole in the side.

Watch this space !!

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