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Published: July 10th 2023
(Day 367 on the road) If you ever wondered where some of the most stupid German people live in this world, fret not: I found them for you. They live in Paraguay.
The number of simply bat-shit dumb Germans I have met here is unbelievable. I had read reports a while ago that a fair number of Covid-deniers, anti-vaccination believers and anti-immigration people (spot the irony) had emigrated to Paraguay. But I didn't expect to meet them literally on my first day in my cool hostel in Asuncion, the capital of Paraguay. And then again and again on a fair number of occasions during my roughly two weeks in the country.
Interestingly, literally all of them were Germans - not Italian, British, Chinese, South African or from anywhere else (take your pick), only Germans. Where do all the nut-cases from other countries emigrate to I wonder?
I spent countless hours talking to them, and it was oddly fascinating to be able to get a glimpse into their world. I thought of listening to all this as "dumb-porn" - you kind of know where it's going and how it is going to end, but you still keep listening. I
could write a number of blog entry just about the crazy stuff I have heard, but let's stick to a few examples:
Most of them believe Covid was a lie invented by the imperialistic west. Of course Bill Gates is micro-chipping us all with his vaccinations. Corruption is simply rampant in Germany, but much better here in Paraguay (the facts according to the CPI corruption index are this: Place 8 for Germany, place 137 for Paraguay). The German government is operating a secret program for breeding conformative citizens. And maybe my personal favorite: This German emigrant woman who ran this cute Posada I was staying in had discovered a local herb that cures cancer 100% of times. But unfortunately she or none of her friends in the know cannot tell anybody, as the pharmaceutical industry knows about it and kills everybody to protect their profit margins.
All of them had stopped listening to independent media years ago, and instead literally all of them told me about their informative Telegram groups. They also were very assertive about all the stuff that "they" don't ever tell you, and the stuff that "they" don't want you know. All enriched by personal
anecdotes, with stories they have heard from friends back home, and scientific studies saying this or that. Unfortunately, they even got the most basic, easily verifiable facts wrong. One woman I met was convince (because somebody back home had told her) that prices for petrol are currently over 4€ a little (the actual price is about 1.80€, as a 30-second websearch easily showed).
But facts and truth did not matter to these people. There was simply no way to even start arguing with them; all of them had lost the ability for rational thinking a long time ago. Instead, it was actually very hard to keep a straight face at times, listening to all this weirdo talk. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. But I guess I am happy that they choose to leave Germany and Europe behind, and have found a new home here in Paraguay. To each their own. Plus, they can probably do less damage here with their twisted minds, living in rural Paraguay. Plus they are in good company with all the offspring of German Nazis who have emigrated to Paraguay after the second world war. I met a few of those as well.
But please, do everybody a favour: Don't come back to Germany when you get sick, old, penniless or simply disillusioned by corrupt Paraguay, expecting Germany to take care of you with its good range social benefits (for which you have contributed nothing since you chose lo live your dream in Paraguay).
Always remember: The German government's sole Raison d'Être is to harm its citizens in any way it can, to control and manipulate the free press, to apply Nazi-style Covid-restrictions for a perfectly harmless infection that never killed anyone, to tax everybody as high as possible without giving anything in return, and of course to secretly implant Bill Gates' microchips through manipulated, unsafe vaccinations. So please, do everybody a favor and stay in safe and sunny Paraguay. This really I feels as the best solution for everybody. Win-win.
But enough of this - let's have a quick recap on Paraguay as such. Compared to all other countries I have visited, Paraguay doesn't really have any major highlights. Instead, it was fascinating to travel across the southern part of this little-visited country, and I met some incredibly friendly people along the way. After cultivated and sophisticated, it was
a bit of a shock really. The parts I have seen were undoubtedly beautiful. But at times, it seemed like time had stopped here, while the world moved on.
My first stop after crossing the border from Argentina was Asuncion. Now, the city itself is nothing special (and unfortunately security is a major concern), slowly but surely falling apart, and I could have seen all the highlights in two days. In the end, I stayed a full week - I happened to stay in a pretty cool hostel, with an open air kitchen and terrace overlooking the river that separates Paraguay from Argentina as the central meeting point for everybody in the evening.
And the weird mix of people staying at the hostel made the evenings on the terrace simply fascinating. There were two German Covid-deniers who had lived there for months, an Israeli who normally lives in Brazil but who tried to get his Paraguay passport (I asked him why but he didn't want to talk about it), the normal stream of travellers coming and going, a guy from Mongolian who had emigrated to Paraguay, the weird and very macho owner of the hostel, and finally Elisa
and Pablo from Chile who had left their life in Chile behind completely and were travelling across South America in self-built campervan.
For all the different world-views under the roof of the hostel, there was still a strong sense of togetherness among its guests; at different times, many of us went out together - for a cool session of air-yoga, or for an evening visit to a local art show and drinks afterwards. Life was good and interesting.
The two Chileans were possibly the only people in the hostel whom you would call normal. Then again, she was earning her money through weird astrology consultancy on the internet. So, maybe not that normal. But fun and very educated, and it was nice to spend time with them. Also, different from most other people, they did not try to convert me to their way of thinking, which felt surprisingly refreshing. We did have long political discussions without agreeing on everything (obviously), and it was nice to understand a bit about their view of the world.
We started to spend more time together, for instance a pleasant day-trip in their van to the nearby villages of San Bernardino and
Aregua. Their van reminded me of my time in New Zealand many years ago, when I used to own a very similar car. It reminded me even more of my van when it broke down before we even got to San Bernardino, which was only 45 minutes away. They were extremely relaxed about it however, which made them very pleasant people to be around. Pablo's thinking was this: He had expected the van to last a couple of month when they left Santiago. This was a year and a half ago, and the van was still going strong. In his mind, every extra day was a bonus. I like the thinking.
After an interesting and relaxed week in Asuncion, I pondered where to go next. Paraguay has a very vast and wild (and very little-visited) north, but with my sabbatical soon coming to an end, I decided to explore the south of the country, where 90% of the country's highlight (and infrastructure) are located anyway. Refreshingly, distances on the only feasible route to take were short, never more than five or six hours by bus to get from one place to the next.
Thus, I wandered around picturesque
villages like San Ignacio Guazu, where only the main roads were paved. Together with a British NGO-worker I bumped into in tiny Santa Maria, we received a private tour of the local Jesuit museum (they don't see many visitors). I walked on the deserted river-beach in Encarnacion (it is winter now here, apparently the beach is packed in summer). I had a pleasant run along the pretty river front (also in Encarnacion), with the skyline of the city of Posadas on the Argentinian side of the Rio Parana always visible (actually the second biggest river of South America after the Amazon). I visited two fascinating Jesuit mission ruins (in Trinidad and aptly named Jesus), including a beautifully illuminated night-tour in Trinidad. I had a look at the Kruger Haus in Hohenau, one of many German colonies in the country (a house where the Nazi Josef Mengele lived for a while after he fled Germany).
My final stop in Paraguay way ugly and dangerous Ciudad del Este. I haven't seen so much armed security since Columbia. It felt rough and seedy. It is also one of the world's largest free economic zone, and the area around the friendship bridge to
Brazil was especially messy and dodgy.
Ciudad del Este is however the base for visiting the country's only real highlight - the amazing waterfalls Saltos del Monday. My next stop after Paraguay are the world-famous waterfalls of Iguazu, so I was happy I was visiting in this order - I guess after visiting Iguazu, all other waterfalls loose their appeal. And Saltos del Monday were actually great - you can visit the top of the falls, and they also built an elevator which takes you right to the base of the falls.
And then it was time to leave Paraguay behind. Awful Ciudad del Este didn't really warrant any more time spent here. Although I did stay in a place called Hotel Austria (run by a family of third generation Austrians), and they had a simply amazing buffet breakfast on offer, which could have easily been served in any 4-star hotel in Vienna.
The lovely receptionist told me which way to walk to the border ("don't go left out of the hotel, only walk on this street, be careful"), and thirty minutes later I was walking across the friendship bridge over the massive Rio Parana into Brazil.
My route in Paraguay: Asuncion - San Ignacio Guazu - Encarnacion - Trinidad - Ciudad del Este.
Next stop: Foz do Iguazu (Brazil).
To view my photos, have a look at pictures.beiske.com.
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Kuan Yin
Karen Johnson
Dumb Porn
Not all dumb porn comes from Germans. So far, the most outrageous one I've heard is that when a pregnant woman gets an ultrasound her baby is implanted with a microchip so the government can track him/her. That came from an American, and much as I hate to say it, most of the dumb porn I encounter comes from Americans.