The hapless fool in Cartagena

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'Romancing the Stone' directed in 1984 by Robert Zemickis, starring Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas and Danny DeVito, is one of my favourites movies.
Sent a treasure map in New York, romance author Joan Wilder (Turner) flys to Colombia to exchange it for her kidnapped sister. Bound for Cartagena she boards the wrong bus and meets Jack T. Colton (Douglas) high in the Colombian mountains. They use the treasure map to find a priceless Emerald. Danny DeVito, an inept bad guy follows their trail, as does a vicious corrupt Police Colonel.
The movie culminates at the ancient port town and fortress, Cartagena. It is here, on the seawall of the castle that the treasure is swallowed by one of the many crocodiles living underneath the fortress. It leaps from the water and bites of the hand of the colonel holding it.

So, there's been an itch to scratch and visit Cartagena myself for many years now. To visit the city a stroll along the streets once trodden by the heroes of film, folklore and fable.

I've tried to book the Hotel Cartagena. To stay in the same place as the gorgeous Miss Turner but oddly there isn't one listed.

I wander around the rabbit warren of streets and plazas of the old town looking for clues.

Where is the restaurant where Jack T.Colton romanced Joan Wilder, dancing the night away under a thousand lights on that sultry night of passion?
Where is Hotel Cartagena where they sealed their love and where she awoke to find Jack had taken the Emerald?
Where is the fortress where Jack and Joan fight the bad guys for possession of the treasure?
Where did Jack dive off the fortress wall into the sea to catch the crocodile that had swallowed the emerald?

It all must be around here somewhere. Mustn't it?

Cartagena , or Cartagena des Indias, to give it it's full title, is a walled city built by the Spanish in the 16th century and was the key port for transporting their stolen loot back to Spain during the Conquest of the Americas and beyond.

Attacked by pirates and the British alike it managed to survive the ravages of war and stands today virtually as it was all those year ago.

Another city was later built up around the old town and another wall was created around that.

That's now two walls, a town within a city, and just outside, on top of a hill, a castle overlooking the town and it's protector.

The last attack by the British to take the town was some 250 years ago.

It is said that if that attack had been successful, then a British foothold would have been established and history could've been written very differently. For one thing they believe Central and South America would now be an English speaking continent.

Narrow streets, plazas, buildings constructed in the style of their native country, the Spaniards lavished the stolen gold and silver on themselves and their lifestyle.

A magnificent cathedral. Ornate churches. The balconies of palatial homes a riot if colours. Flowers and Ivy hanging to the pavement below.

Throw away the map and get lost in a myriad of colonial streets and alleyways. Sidle into a Salsa bar and while away the hours.

Cartagena is an amazing place.

It was, however, nothing like the final scenes of the movie. Despite my best efforts I found nothing that resembled even a single clip.

In the film the fortress is next to the sea. Crocodiles live in the waterways beneath the ramparts.

The fortress here is 5 kms from the sea and there isn't even a sniff of a multi toothed aquatic reptile!

I was beginning to smell a rat!

No Hotel Cartagena. No sea fortress. No crocodiles. No romance. No stone. No fuck all!

"Vera Cruz" said Patch, film buff from Toronto, to me back at the hostel. " it was all filmed in Mexico and the fortress is in Vera Cruz".

I felt such a fool. Hoodwinked by the studio heads at Universal Studios. All this way to tread the same streets as Kathleen, Michael and Danny and they weren't even here.

The hapless Englishman, completely conned by the cunning trickery of a crafty Zemeckis.

"Fancy a trip to the mud volcano tomorrow with us?" said Ellen, Patch's girlfriend.

I raised an eyebrow. "There's a volcano?" I replied with a teaspoon of suspicion. "Near here?" I added, with a whole tablespoon of sarcasm.

"Sure" she said " wanna come?"

"Why not!" I mused. A mud volcano?
Seems an opportunity to good to be missed.

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Photos

Entrance to walled city
Time to find the scenes from Romancing the Stone

A typical house
In the rabbit warren of streets

Tall ship
In the port

Cathedral
In the old city.

Cannon
On ramparts of old city

Castillo
Build to defend town and sits on other side of river. 5kms from the sea, not a hint of crocodiles or Emeralds.