Mud OrgyThe three of us seem happily oblivious to the fact that everyone around us seems to be engaging in some dirt nastiness (no pun intended).
My loving sister came and spent a long weekend in Cartagena with us and her dreamy bf “Let me get my bearings” Zach. We started out sleeping on this little island out in the Caribbean filled with flamingoes and peacocks, none of which spoke much English. We canoed around the surrounding islands before posting up on one for the day. I walked off into the woods to get us drinks and hilariously found Jeni, Maria and Zach on the trail back. They had organized themselves into an inebriated search party although I was gone all of ten minutes. After rereading that I realize that to most people walking into the woods on a strange island to get beers may seem strange, but there's always a store somewhere and I was off to find it. We spent another day at the mud volcano and Jeni learned how welcoming Colombian culture is when an old lady helped clean the mud off in what in North America would surely be qualified as rape. Zach utilized the “my body my choice” defense and refused when another elderly woman told him to pop his swim trunks off. We spent another day walking around in the blistering
Close upI mean seriously what's going on in this photo? There's no way whitey can't feel that hot breath on his neck.
heat and dining on rooftops at night. Our last day we went to the beach with two blow up rafts and quickly traded the rights to one (when we left) to a beach vendor if she would bring us a puppy to play with for the day. Within ten minutes we were the proud temporary owners of a newborn little puppy. And that's why Colombia is a great place to live. The whole episode reminded me of Walter telling The Dude he could get him a severed toe (with toenail polish) before 3 o'clock.
Right before Zach and Jeni arrived, one of my cats, Doug, decided to jump out of our 6th story window. He’s fine, we freaked out as we realized the apartment was sans Doug before I went to ground level to look for a corpse. He was huddled bloodily next to the elevator (I guess he couldn’t reach the buttons). The whole episode has introduced me to the very catchy Colombian tune El Gato Volador (The Flying Cat). Turns out this is some sort of constant problem with cats and they’re most likely to survive from the 7th – 9th floor. They never reach terminal velocity
And then...Zach got in on the action with that same guy.
but if they fall from too high they suffocate as they can’t breathe when they’re falling. A cat falling from a higher floor, after it stops accelerating, spreads its legs into an umbrella shape, which increases the area against which the air must push and increases the friction, thus slowing the cat’s fall. A cat falling from a lower height does not have the opportunity to increase its body’s area, slow its fall, or position his body to land on all four feet.* Just the scare of losing a pet convinced us to get another one and immediately on returning we bought Minnie, the Chihuahua puppy featured heavily in the photos. She’s adorable and insanely jealous if someone is hugging without her. If she’s fast asleep and you start hugging, she’ll pop up and get into the middle of the hug. She’s like a tiny brown Elmo that way. Colombia played Uruguay in a World Cup qualifier here in the BQ last week. Maria being Uruguayan decided to sport her Uruguay shirt and was promptly booed by our priest during mass. It’s funnier if you know him, he’s not the friendly easy to get along with type of priest but
rather the wrath of god variety. One nice thing about having a gym in the house is that I work out in my underwear about 90% of the time. Go ahead, get a good mental image. I hope I was in whitey tighties in your mind. I don’t own any but they’re easily the funniest form of underwear for men. A Colombian superstition is that thunder happens because a widow is getting married. I'm no climatologist but that seems legit.
Movie: I watched Detachment which made me seriously glad I don’t teach in the US and inspired all these quotes below.
TV: I’ve been watching lots of TED talks lately, some of them are amazing. Some less so. But it makes me feel less useless than watching Walking Dead. I know these aren't technically TV but since I download and watch them on my tv, kind of.
Music: Other than being mildly obsessed with Frank Ocean’s Thinking ‘bout You, I’ve been listening to old Dr. Dre.
Book I was reading Micheal J. Fox’s autobiography on the can the other day
UnfortunatelyThere are no muscles strong enough to avoid the psycological pain of being molested.
and got to thinking about what a smeary mess wiping must be for people with Parkinson’s.
~Tyrone and Olly
It is telling that the plutocrats who push for standardized test-based teacher evaluations tend to send their own kids to schools that would never implement such a system. ~ Jersey Jazzman
This is not just about education; it is about whether we want to live under an aristocracy. It is about whether it is acceptable for the upper class to send their children to schools that prepare them to lead, while the rest of America sends their children to schools that prepare them to follow. ~ Jersey Jazzman
They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying -- lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want -- they want MORE for themselves and less for everybody else. But I'll tell you what they don't want. They DON'T want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. They're not interested in that, that doesn't help them. That's against their interests.
Colombian hospitalityI love the lady doing the old 'yawn like nobody's being raped' move. Zach here is protesting her attempt to remove his britches. Jeni's looking on hoping she's not the only molestee.
That's right. They don't want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table and figure out how badly they're getting ****** by system that threw them overboard 30 ******' years ago. They don't want that. You know what they want? They want OBEDIENT WORKERS. OBEDIENT WORKERS. People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork, and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly ******** jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime, and the vanishing pension. – George Carlin
*Unknown. Stolen from the internet somewhere. Date Unknown. I’m pretty sure that fits a good MLA style citation.
Colombia was one of the three countries that emerged from the collapse of Gran Colombia in 1830 (the others are Ecuador and Venezuela). A 40-year insurgent campaign to overthrow the Colombian Government escalated during the 1990s, undergirded in part...more info