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Published: July 25th 2012
So remember how a few months ago, I tried to sail with two friends from San Blas, Panama to Cartagena only to wind up in a storm clenched to a canoe for two days instead? Well I thought I would try to do this trip again. Apparently, the fear wasn’t slammed into me hard enough. Both my friends I dragged on last time think I’m absolutely nuts to make a second attempt, which is perfectly understandable and probably correct, but I thought I would take Haley’s visit as opportunity to give it another go!
We wound up on a much bigger boat than planned, and never got to go see it before choosing it (which is crucially recommended in the sailing trip world). We went to a hostel known for all its information on different sail tours to and around San Blas, and before we knew it, found ourselves convinced by other guests to take The Independence. Most sailboats jam 8-10 people on board, but this one was bigger and fits 25. We were told that we would want a bigger boat, since the waves can get huge and we would feel it less on a bigger vessel. There were
also rooms (which the smaller ones typically don’t have) and AC (which is necessary in the heat). The only catch was that the old Slovenic Captain was a bit of a nut.
The first day was already a nightmare. We first had to meet at immigration to get our exit stamps. As they were calling everyone’s names out, they called me into the back room. Apparently, getting the work visa also entails my having to get the Celula (a Colombian ID card). I only had 15 days from the date of the visa issue to obtain it before being heavily fined. Naturally, I was never told this very important piece of information, thanks to the effieciency of Colombia. That exact day just so happened to be the 15
th, my last day. "Ok," I said. I’ll get it, lets go! I ran to get pictures done down the street, paid them the expensive rate for the stupid ID and filled the form out. Then it came to knowing my blood type. I know this is very important piece of information everyone should know, and you don’t want to give them the wrong one in case of a life or death
situation, but this was a matter of stay or boat. So I told the guy I didn’t know (this is all in Spanish mind you). He told me he had to have it to issue me the ID. I told him I didn’t have the slightest idea. He then started listing off the different types. "A," I said. "Yeah, I’m sure it’s A." Then he started asking for negatives and positives, so I threw in a positive. "I’m sure it’s A positive," I told him as I kissed my life good-bye in a future accident. He didn’t believe me, and knew I was supposed to embark with all the people that just left for the boat. So he asked when I would return, and I told him the 19
th (it was the 10
th). He said ok, just come back and tell me when you get back.
PHEW! I could kiss him! But I wasn’t finished with jumping through hoops just yet. During this little chat with this man, he kept asking me where I worked and in different ways, as if he knew I didn’t work there anymore. Later, while we were trying to figure out where to go to
get to the boat (Haley stayed to wait for me and was told where to go, but the Spanish just sounded like gibberish to her, leaving her clueless), this other guy, higher up I should mention, looked at my passport and started questioning me too about where I worked.
Wtf?! I wanted to pee my pants! I pictured them discussing my case behind the scenes, knowing I was lying and just waiting for the perfect time to shut me down. Surely, he was going to call my lovely ex-boss whom would def not vouch for me. After a few more "I work at Hostel El Viajeros," I passed this odd little test and was given another go ahead. -
Thank you Jesus! Once on the boat, we had a meeting with rules and all that jazz before we left. During this meeting, my ex-boss called me. Since the boat is so small, there was nowhere for me to go and sneak away to answer, so I just let it ring. During this 30-minute meeting, I was pooping my pants.
Why the heck would she call me?! Surely immigration had called to check up on me, and she was calling me to give me a piece of her mind.
For sure, I’m getting kicked out of this country for lying about having a job when we get back! Once settled in our room, I decided to suck it up and call her back instead of fretting about it for the next 9 days. To my surprise, her actually wonderful boyfriend, and friend of mine, was just using her phone to call me to ask me to go kayaking (he’s the one that owns the kayak company). Holy Moly timing!!! Impeccable! Turns out immigration hasn’t called her, or at least that I know of! Phew!
So the trip: All but about 6 of us were from Australia. And if you know anything about me, I love Aussies, so I was already having the time of my life! Aussies are just so friendly, fun and easy-going, there was no need to worry about the flow going well or not (which is something you have to worry about being on a boat with strangers, could totally make or break the trip)!
The first two days on the boat were at sea and almost everyone was sick or queasy. It was a bit
stormy as well, which only made the waves bigger. The sleeping situations were practically on top of each other, jamming everyone everywhere. One room had three strangers to a bed, a giant on a midget-sized bed, and three people on a mattresses on the floor, with NO space to walk. Luckily, we got out of that 3-strangers-to-a-bed spot we were first put in, and lucked out with getting our own beds that were even long enough for me! Just a matter of rolling over was not an option or you would find yourself on the floor, it was so narrow!
By day three, everyone was happy and we parked for our first island stop. It was magical. We swam to a nearby island, which basically means overtaking a Kuna Yali family’s yard. I felt bad so went to go talk to them, which luckily they knew Spanish. They were super nice and friendly. They didn’t seem to care at all that we had come to invade their small island -I'm sure they're used to this by now. There were conches all over the place, huge ones too! I wanted to take them all, but they were so heavy and
I didn’t know if it was legal or not. Plus, the swim back to the boast was so far. So I grabbed a medium-small one and gave it to a couple that grabbed the kayak to sneak it back onboard for me! Score!
Pretty much it followed as such: we sailed to three different island spots, spending our time discovering and swimming the areas stopped at. Lots of people had fun trying to crack coconuts for coconut water, and there were giant starfishes and conchs everywhere. Unfortunately, the coral wasn’t anything good for snorkeling, which Haley and I had brought our own set. But the coral sure gave me a scratch on my thigh on one of the first days out! Worse yet, it was at perfect height with all the tables and counters onboard, it was only inevitable that I kept rubbing it by accident on some furniture –more burning pain than I needed! The nights were spent on the top deck around a giant table talking and drinking. The guests had naturally divided themselves into two groups (I think for lack of room on the top deck), and we found ourselves with the rowdier Aussies.
One
Aussie, Keira, was a bit louder than most and with her big heart, is ready to fight for those in need. She felt horribly for our chef. He had to cook three meals a day for 26+ people, never got a break, and was the most positive upbeat person ever. So she took it upon herself to tell the grumpy captain. He took it all wrong and thought the cook had put her up to it. He basically fired him on the spot (effective upon return to Cartagena), but also gave him the next day off. Leaving the 72 year-old Captain’s 21-year-old girlfriend (BARF!) to even more work. But Keira kept fighting for him, though the cook just kept asking us not to say anything. The guy was still happy as ever, though he told me he had another work prospect when he returned to Cartagena and not to worry.
The cook’s meals were pretty stellar too, considering the resources. But one day, we had lobster bought from some Kuna Yali. Now, I don’t like seafood. I do, however, like most shellfish. But if the shellfish looks like what it did when it was alive, forget about it. Well
the lobster that night was served WHOLE, long tentacles and all!! I wanted to die! I jumped each time someone accidently bumped in to me with an antler thing. Ugggh. I even had to have one guy remove the meat for me just because I couldn’t touch it!! It’s soo strange since I can handle most gross things, I don’t get why this freaks me out so bad. When they're alive I have no problem, but dead, oh God no! So weird! Anyways, I had to stomach that one. I was shaky for about an hour after the fact too! Though I must say, it was some pretty tasty meat!
The second last day of our six-day sail, our Captain almost died. He had gotten sea fever about two days before, and as we were pulling in to another destination, he went unconscious twice. His little girlfriend was freaking out, and was the only one who knew how to drive the boat and park it, (we were all pretty surprised that she was genuinely upset, perhaps she wasn’t a gold digger after all, or maybe she’s just not ready to take over…none of us could figure it out). The
Captain kept fighting to let him up and do his job, but none of us would have it. Both his life and ours were at stake. Once anchored, we all decided that the best thing to do was to kayak to other sailboats and ask for help, surely they would know what to do. Even though we were close enough to mainland, there were no doctors nearby as the Kuna Yali people are an indigenous group. Unfortunately, no one was on board of any of these boats to help us. But luckily in the meantime, the hydrating packets we forced the captain to drink had already revived him, and he was doing much better. So all we could do now was wait it out. Apparently, he was weak since he hadn’t eaten anything the past two days, because he had the shits and was too scared to shit even more. Things went on as normal from then on out. They motor-boated us to an island nearby where we were to have our final night’s dinner. We basically hung out at this sort of bar-hut, drinking and playing volleyball on this court in the most picturesque setting ever: at the tip
of an island surrounded by short palm trees. Just before dinner, the Captain managed to visit it us for a little bit and was looking a lot better too. We all enjoyed dinner..well almost all of us, it was fish cooked whole bought from the Kuna Yali. Needless to say, I ate the side dishes. Then we went back to have one last party on the boat.
Despite our strange captain and his near death situation, I’m absolutely thrilled I finally got to do it. I’ve seriously been trying to do this trip since before coming back from Argentina (that's almost 3 years ago now). Well worth the risk! Seriously got to bask in paradise for 6 days straight, in my bikini everyday, and being highly entertained by a rowdy bunch of Aussies! One hilarious Irish guy, Oisin (O-Sheen), described the trip as follows: “It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Like tripping on acid while riding on a unicorn through a rainbow straight into the face of Cleopatra.” 'Nough said.
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