Travels of A Gringo....a retrospective

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So as i near the end of my time in Argentina (for the moment, anyway) and head towards the lawless land of Bolivia, i felt it was time to get a few things off my chest...

Spanglish ("Espanglese")

Communicating in a foreign language is never without it's hazards but learning Spanish in Latin America seems to be a linguistic mine field. Not only do the locals love to speak in their own idiosyncratic dialect, when they realise you're not from round here they definitely speed up and lay on an extra thick accent just for their amusal. Furthermore, the language has lots of ''false friends", words which at first glance seem to bare a striking resemblance to the English but actually mean something completely different and these can get you into a lot of trouble. For example, the other day I ordered a ''weird" steak. I had assumed rather foolishly that "raro" meant ''rare". It doesn't! It means ''weird" and I got some very weird looks when I placed my order.

Eating Out

I've been on a staple diet of Beef since i got here and i don’t seem to be tiring of it. I’m sure my intestines must be working overtime, not to mention my heart but so far the plumbing seems to be in good working order....(famous last words!). If i ordered a vegetarian option i think they’d throw me out of the restaurant and maybe even the country. I don´t think they have a word for ‘vegetarian’ and i’m pretty sure the whole issue of 'vegentarianism' is taboo. There may be comunities of ‘veggies’ living underground but it’s not something you talk about. At best refusing meat is considered rude, at worst it’s regarded as a cardinal sin even if you have eated half a cow beforehand. I've been really enjoying the culinary lottery i play everytime i go to a restaurant, though. I could spend hours trying to translate the menu from Spanish to English, but where's the fun in that? I'd rather leave my fate to the chef and suprise myself. Besides, what i think i´ve ordered and what i actually get are very rarely the same. The majority of the time they are poles apart and it never fails to amaze me that what appears to be a simple sandwich on the menu, for example, turns out to be a four course meal, which of course you have to finish. So needless to say i´m eating well, and trying wherever possible to eat 'Ensalada Mixta', a rather pathetic mix of lettuce, onion and tomato.

Gringo Tax

Hmmm, that´s strange i´m sure the local in front of me paid 10 pesos less than i did. Is kilo after kilo of red meat starting to go to my head? No! That´ll be the gringo tax! I´m fairly sure there´s no official backing of this tax but wherever you go it seems to be rigouresly enforced. I can´t really complain, it´s still as cheap as chips!

Travellers Tales

I love a good horror story as much as the next man but when it comes to travelling, the tales of woe are in abundance and you can´t help thinking you´d have been better off spending a few months in Bagdad...the way people carry on about South America makes you wonder why anyone would come here...it´s enough to make you turn round and come home.

Best Food: Bife de Chorizo

Most Common Tourists (apart from the Aussies, of course, who seem to be taking over the world): Germans, Israelis (come in groups of no less than 6), Americans....then a few French, a few Brits, no Italians, no Spanish.

Most overused phase: Muy Bien!

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