Adventures in the Uttermost Part of the Earth

---

Well the weather has indeed been as if it were the end of the world. It's bucketed it down and all that's missing is the four horsemen of the apocolypse riding into to town and stopping off for an empanada (well ok, maybe not Famine - he´d probably give that one a miss). Ah well, we're only 100km or so from Cape Horn, the last land before Antarctica, so what do you expect...

Being in Ushuaia has given us the opportunity to kick back for a while. We've had 6 days here, which is a bit of a record for us. The Aerolineas Argentinas pilots are on strike at the moment so we might be here even longer than we bargained unless the government manages to mediate a settlement. Nevermind, I'm sure it will be sorted out soon. It's not like they are being unreasonable or anything - they're only demanding a 45% pay hike.

Fortunately Ushuaia is a pleasant place to relax a while. There's also a lot to do should you be feeling energetic so we've been out and about a bit. First up was the local ice cave at Glacier Alvear. We trekked up to the glacier through Lenga forest with our guide Diego and two Catalonians, David and his brother Reubens. David (who is from Barcelona and he speak English very well, though he did not learn it from a boook) admited to being living near Barcelona but being a Real Madrid fan - how the hell is the man still alive! Maybe because he's just so much fun. David spent the day sliding around on the snow and throwing himself into snowdrifts like he was 13, not 32.

The ice cave was impressive. It had been started by a small meltwater stream which ran under the glacier and then hollowed out by the gales which howl through the Fuegan mountains. The ice roof was beautiful - well worth a 5 hour trudge through the snowdrifts with soaking wet feet.

On the way back we detoured to a Beaver-made pond and stealthily crept up through the gnawed tree stumps looking for the visionary landscaper. However, Mr Beaver wasn't shy at all, in fact he fancied taking us on and boldly patrolled his waters whilst giving us the evil eye. Every now and again he whacked his tail into the water in a show of strength aimed at warding us off from his watery domain. All yours our bucktoothed friend! - there's quite enough water for us just sloshing around in our boots.

Beavers were introduced to Tierra del Fuego by the Argie army in the 1950s in order to use them for their pelts. When you mess with nature it so often comes back to bite (or gnaw in this case). As soon as they got to the island their pelts became long and shaggy due to the ferocious weather the animals had to endure. Our wood chomping friends were therefore kicked out of their cages and left to fend for themselves. Dumb move. Now they're everywhere, happily chewing through everything they can find and redesigning the landscape for their own aquatic purposes. Doh!

Out in the Beagle Channel there's an island whose sole inhabitants are of the black and white, fisheating, waddling fat little bird variety. So off to the Penguinera we went. The island is actually owned by Estancia Haberton, which was the first European settlement in Tierra del Fuego. It was founded in 1885 by Thomas Bridges, whose grandson is still there. As the bottom has fallen out of the sheep market he now dishes out coffee and tasty lemon cake to tourists from the many cruise liners which dock in Ushuaia. Thomas Bridge's son was one of the first to learn the languages of the native Fuegans and was the author of the book "The Uttermost Part of the Earth" - hence the title. OK, enough of the history - back to Penguin buffoonery.

We sped off to the Penguin Island in a Zodiac inflatable with another seven people. We landed on a beach covered with the little buggers and spent the next hour or so creeping around so as not to scare the delicate little souls out of their wits. Everyone loves Penguins, don't they? They waddle around like an obese uncle at a formal do vaguely searching for the lady with the vol-au-vents and a top-up. When penguins take to the water they manage to find a little more grace and we saw some speeding along and jumping out of the water. However, it has to be said that the elegant arc of the dolphin is not quite matched by that of the penguin which displays just a hint of bellyflop on re-entry. 7.7, 7.8, 6.8, 7.4, 6.5.

It was fantastic to get so close to them in the wild. We watched them cavorting, playing, chilling out on the beach, dozily peering out of their holes to see what all the fuss was about, eyeing us with slight distrust and then just going back to sleep. Ever heard a Penguin burp? Well, we have now had that pleasure.

In our group there was a lady who seemed amiable enough and we chatted to her for a while. Later we realised that her backpack was actually a papoose. In top of the the papoose we could see the artificial hair of a doll. The Papoose didn't appear to serve any other function than carrying the doll. Hmmm, strange we thought. Later in the day she was clutching the doll as we walked around the island and then the doll was back in the papouse but the other way around so it could grin evily at us (no doubt just waiting for when no-one else was watching so it could pounce and slay us in some unexpected fashion). It´s eyes followed you around. OK everyone, back away slowly from freaky doll lady - no sudden movements....

Our other trip was a supposed glacier hike. It didn't start well. The other members of the group were given gaiters to stop their feet and legs getting wet. We asked whether we should have some and the guide answered that yes we should but that he didn't have any. Great. He cheerily told us not to get our feet wet before we got up to the glacier otherwise they would freeze. Oh fantastic we thought - we both have shoes that are as leaky as the cabinet office. He then led us through the biggest rain sodden bog you've ever seen. We jumped from mossy tuft to mossy tuft and tiptoed over fallen branches like elephants in tutus. It took 3½ hours(cheers for the nerd tip Dan!) to get to the glacier - which turned out to be the smallest glacier you´ve ever seen. We would have done better to climb inside a freezer cabinet. Also, there had been so much snow that most of it wasn't safe and we only walked on it with crampons for about 20 minutes. Not impressed. Where was the climbing up and sliding down ice walls and leaping carefree over crevasses that we had envisaged?! Instead, we all got to balance on an ice-cube. Going to have to try that one again sometime.

Tierra del Fuego is an interesting place with a chequered history of European squabblings. It used to be the main cargo route between Europe and the gold and silver mines in Peru and Bolivia. Control of the Magellan Straights and the Beagle Channel was therefore important and lucrative. It was named Tierra del Fuego due to the propensity of the native Indians to wander around naked, despite the freezing weather, and to keep themselves warm by having fires wherever they went (even in their dugout canoes - hmmm - doesn't sound like a great idea that one).

The Fuegan women used to dive naked for shellfish in the icy waters. They must have been tough. They basically lived a stone age existence in almost modern times - up until the early 1900s. Darwin once called them "among the most abject and miserable creatures I have ever seen", although he was later to retract his rather arrogant comments. The Indians here were systematically massacred by European settlers, particularly during the "reign" of Julius Popper, a charismatic meglamaniac Romanian immigrant who became the self-appointed dictator of the region until Buenos Aries finally slapped him down. The Indians were routinely hunted until their virtual extinction. There's not an Indian face to be seen in Ushuaia - that way of life is no more. If you want to experience something stone age and pre-historic you will have to visit Plymouth at chucking out time on a Friday night.

Next up - the Parque Nacional Los Glacieres and the famous Moreno Glacier (which is apparently worth a look). Might see if we can have a little tiptoe around that one to avenge our loss here!

Be good - and if you can't be good then have fun.

T&S

---