Hostel hell

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- FOOD: Media lunas again but smothered in sugar, NO dulce de leche, intestines (they were as I thought they would be), empañadas again.

- AREA: Big sunny plaza with lots of cafes to watch the world go by - very European, LOTS of choice of tour companies, quite a big city with lots of traffic - not what I've been used to recently! ANOTHER cathedral and church. Crap park.

- PEOPLE: Hostels sellers who hassle you to hell, stereotypical backpackers that irritated me (see rant below).

- WEATHER: Hot sun to while away the hours in.


Wed 1st June: I slept SO well in my palace but wasn´t impressed with the measly breakfast I got for my 16 pounds. Media lunas (hooray) but covered in sugar (boo). Forgot about Argentina's sugar obsession. No dulce de leche - the disappointment.

The taxi driver obviously spoke a different language to Spanish as I couldn´t understand a word he was saying and he didn´t understand my 'terminal de omnibus' and drove me the opposite way to the cemetry!!!
Anyway, miscommunication over, I had a very comfortable 2 hour bus journey to Salta. Although we had a police check along the way - everyone had their bags checked but he was happy to let me through just from seeing my passport (and my angelic look of course).

At Salta, I had hassle, hassle, hassle by hostel people and ended up going with the Hostel International man who was surprised that I opted for the 'quieter' of the 2 HI hostels and that I enquired about a room for myself. What must be wrong with me not to want to share a party hard hostel room with 20 others?! Surely being on my own I must want to meet some wild and wacky people?
Anyway, I´d bought a bloody HI card in Brazil so I thought I´d use it. Got an immediate bad vibe from the place with it's signs in fun font about everything but the town and it´s prison/uni accommodation feel but went with it.

The sun was hot and the plaza was so like anything in Spain - big, lovely trees and lots of little cafes around the edge to watch the world go by.
Which is just what I did for hours after the rest of the city had baffled me with it´s huge choice of tour operators, bars, cafes, hotels. I much prefer the smaller, quieter places although Salta is great.

My search for a park as nice as London´s failed again with a not so nice park on the way to the bus terminal to book my ticket to Chile. I bumped into Joke after bumping into a sign in comic style (thank god no-one saw) and we spent more time chilling in the plaza before my cathedral and church obsession got the better of me. I might have to stop this though as I know I´m going to deeply offend one day when I explode with hysterics at seeing Christ depicted as a raging homosexual (I´m sure that isn´t the image they intend to convey). It´s just so fascinating though that so much money and attention is spent on the glorious detailed architecture of so many churches and hardly any effort on the statues.

Went back to the hostel the others were staying at and watched 'Friends' and then we went for a parilla dinner where I tried intestines (a first and last).
I grudgingly made my way back to my hostel where I KNEW the guy (who was very young with lots of 'charm') would ask me why I was going to bed as early as midnight and I knew I´d have the room to myself until 5am when my roommates turned up drunk and noisy.

Here are some tips on how to be a typical backpacker:
Mooch around the hostel in the scruffiest, smelliest clothes you can find for hours with a hangover, show no interest in the local culture, buy a rucksack with at least 50 zips which you MUST check every night (when you return at 5am) to make sure they work, also check your daypack which only contains plastic bags, making sure you count every single one. After 15 minutes of snoring, wake up and re-check all zips and carrier bags.

Here are some tips on how to be a hostel owner:
Build a hostel that doesn´t fit in with the surrounding architecture at all, paint it bright colours (lots of yellow is always good), make sure it does not have any character, do not have any information about what to do in the area except for adventure sports and 'rave routes' and of course have a bar area as the backpackers may not be able to find there way to any of the local ones.
Make the beds to fit only short, thin people and ensure they wobble furiously, advertise free internet access but only buy one second hand 10 year old computer (you can blame it on 'those bloody Israeli's when it breaks down) (not my words by the way). Speak to everyone in English even if they are trying their best to practice their Spanish and flirt with EVERY female who walks through the door.

As you can guess from that rant, I´m not staying in an HI again!

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