7 days across. What makes the Atlan tick - part I

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There are 9 sea days during this crossing. 7 of them are in 1 sitting as we cross the Atlantic from Madeira to Ft. Lauderdale in Florida. Roisin signed up for the Pilates classes that are held at 8:00am every other sea day. I have managed to visit the gym every sea day. During my 1-hour workouts, I have cycled a total of 125 miles and burned a total of just over 3500 calories. However, as each dessert aboard must be at least 3000 calories, you can see I'm fighting a losing battle!!

There are certainly some characters that pass through the gym during my sessions. I don't mean characters such as the lobster from the little mermaid or the parrot from Aladdin I mean larger than life characters that I doff my imaginary hat and say to them; 'Respect'!! Some of them would probably feel more comfortable being ‘at home' and wouldn't look out of place with their feet up, slippers on, a shawl to keep them nice and snugly warm and a cup of cocoa!!

One man who must be in his late 70s arrives every morning at 7:45am on the dot. He shuffles in with a stoop and heads towards a treadmill. He has a belt holding his shorts up and it is fastened just below the armpits!! His striped polo shirt is of course tucked in to his shorts. He grabs both rails of the treadmill then slowly raises one leg on to the belt. After a brief pause and what seems, from where I'm watching, a concerted effort lifts the trailing leg on to the running belt. He puts his earpiece in. Nothing like a bit of Gangsta Rap to help you shed those unwanted pounds!! He plays around with some buttons on the console and away he goes at a steady pace but not without holding tight on to the support bars!!

Yesterday I noticed the lady on the bike next to me. I had been peddling for 1 hour and was now on my warm down and still pedalling faster than her!! I slowed right down to try and match her speed but realised I couldn't go any slower without stopping!! I guess it's the taking part that counts!

We arranged to eat lunch in Alfredo's with Simon and William on one of our sea days. Alfredo's is a great eating alternative from the buffet at Horizon Court or one of the main restaurants. It is a partitioned seating area along the portside of the open planned atrium area on deck 6. Unlike other Alfredo's on others of the Princess fleet, the menu in this branch is quite extensive reaching out beyond the 4 different types of pizza normally associated with Alfredo's to include: anti pasti, primi AND secundi platti as well as dessert. If the service between the primi and secundi platti improved beyond a snails pace, this would be a top-notch venue!! They have even followed in the footsteps of a well know fast-food chain and are offering happy meals! They are the same as normal meals but instead of a sprinkling of parmesan over your pizza, it is accompanied by a Sanatogen flavoured cheesy dip!!

We have now known Simon and William for several days and during our lunch learned a little more about their background and lives outside of cruising. Although we have known them both for only a very short time, they appear to be of a most genuine and sincere nature. They have a great sense of humour and also great conversationalists. (Not that you can have one without the other!!)

Simon and William have now joined Kaye, Roisin and myself as established members of the reincarnated trivia team, ‘The Scrambled Egg Heads'. Jane was a newby to our trivia team one afternoon. Jane is from Florida. As we were making small talk before the trivia started, she asked everyone, ‘What do you all think about the ship'

‘Oh, no!' as soon as someone asks that question, I know what is coming next. Sure enough, this was Jane's cue to proceed to whinge about her cabin. She said that at night it creaks as if the hull is prefabricated and missing some rivets. She then said that she is going to have a word with the maintenance department to see if they can stick a few more rivets in the hull! She said it just sounds like someone is snoring all night long. Jane, before you go storming off to complain, I'd seriously consider listening carefully at the sound you hear. Perhaps it is just someone snoring all night long!!!

One of the evening multi media trivia during our 7 days at sea was Beatles ‘name that tune'. In Liverpool it is customary to be taught Beatleology from a very early age (Kindergarten??!). It is also customary, coming from Liverpool, that you know someone who went to school with Paul McCartney or who babysat for John Lennon!! In other words reputations were on the line!!

The evening went to plan. We convinced Simon and William to attend and they both duly obliged. Simon played a blinder and we ended up in a 3-way tie scoring a maximum 20/20. Tiebreak: How many pianos did it take to record the final note of the Beatles track ‘A day in the Life?' We batted it around a bit and settled for 3, which happened to be the correct answer. A bottle of Champagne was our booty. We will save it for when we arrange to meet Simon and William for dinner in a few days time. Linda said that she and her husband don't drink so we could keep the champagne!! Oh, didn't I tell you about Linda and her husband??

During trivia a team is allowed up to 6 players. As this particular evening we were two short, a lady asked if she could join. We said, ‘of course', so she sat down beside us. Her husband, she said, would be along shortly. This was Linda from Maryland. During the quiz Linda and her husband contributed absolutely nothing! Nada! Zilch!! During the questions, so as not to let her feel excluded, I would scribble down my answer and show it to her.

‘When I was younger so much younger than today…' I scribbled down ‘Help!' She read it and shrugged: ‘I don't know. If you say so!'

‘Baby you can be so fine, guess I'm gonna make you mine, beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah!!!!

Drive my car I scrawled and showed it to the rest of the team. I got the same blank expression from Linda from this song as for every other song thus far!!.

Her husband's opening line on sitting down was: ‘I know nothing about the Beatles.' He did not make single eye contact with any of us during the game, constantly looking up at the monitor. Linda and husband; to you I have a question: ‘Why the bloody hell were you there?' I'm sure the Texas hold ‘em tournament could have done without your contribution as much as us!!! I would never dream of turning up at a US military veteran's get together just for the sake of it if I wasn't going to contribute. I may have that tactic when attending a few meetings in work, but that's a different matter!!!

Every time Linda from Maryland opened her mouth it was to have a moan. ‘The soap is a lot thinner than on other ships'. ‘The toilet paper holder is under the sink'. She also didn't like the fact that there was no central staircase. ‘What if we have to evacuate in an emergency?' William pointed out that there were emergency escape stairwells'. She couldn't comprehend why they weren't being used. ‘Because they're in case of emergency!!' She also didn't like the theatre lay out. ‘There are no emergency doors only 1 way in and out'. Again, William tried to explain that there are ample fire exits dotted all around the auditorium. Roisin and I popped in to the theatre today and counted 4 emergency doors each side of the theatre as well as the normal entrances on both decks 6 and 7!! She basically didn't like the layout. It's not what she's used to! The layout is different because IT'S A DIFFERENT SHIP!!! Get used to it!!

1 in 3 of the passengers on board (just over 1200) have Elite loyalty status. These are passengers with 150 or more sea days sailing with Princess. We have come to the conclusion that with so many elite passengers comes so many enlarged egos. I've never heard so many complaints about trivial matters. If they're that concerned about the soap then sail with someone else and leave us to enjoy our vacation!! I didn't hear her compliment Princess on their numerous hangers in each stateroom. We counted 36 hangers in ours. Normally we're lucky if we get 6!! No, they will complain to Princess, receive credit onboard for their next trip and all will be well in the kingdom of cruising!! (until the next time!!)

Simon and William have a similar attitude to us. As long as the ship is clean and the crew are ‘happy' (and the boat floats!) then everything else is incidental.

2 days in to our 7 days at sea and the crew had an emergency drill. It was made very clear that passengers did not need to partake in this drill. Part of the drill involves certain fire stewards checking cabins to ensure they are clear. The daily onboard news sheet known as the Princess Patter confirmed that if you are on board and do not wish to be disturbed leave the privacy please sign outside your stateroom!! IF you are on board??!! We are over 800 miles from the nearest land. Where else are we going to be??

‘I'm just going to chuck my self overboard and have a splash around for a bit in the mid Atlantic. I don't what to get in the way of the crew in the middle of their emergency procedures. We all know what a sterling job they're doing!!! It will save me putting the ‘privacy please' sign on our cabin door anyway!!!'

Sat on our balcony, I heard talking coming from Ronald Reed and Shirley Goin's cabin, our redneck neighbours. The dividers between each cabin provide complete privacy. However, the balcony is protected by sheets of Perspex glass. By looking at a certain angle I could see Mrs Redneck's reflection in the glass sitting on her balcony. What was that in her hand? No surely! She raised her left hand to her mouth and took a drag. She's smoking!! Despite there being a strict ‘no smoking' policy due to health and safety; a fire hazard, she was smoking. I had to wait in case I was mistaken and she was just picking her nose. No. Definitely smoking. I came back in to our cabin and without hesitation dialled the Passenger Service Desk and told them what I had just seen. They said that they would send someone up immediately. Ooh! I can be a right ‘bitch' when I want!! That will teach them for banging on the wall on day 1!! Since my ‘snitching', I haven't noticed or smelt any cigarettes from next door. But I'm watching them. I'm watching them very closely!!!

They're at it again!! Smoking. After I reported it. I collared Christina our cabin steward. She told me that cabin e208 had also reported it and they had been warned. Christina explained that is why they always have the ‘Do not disturb' sign on the door. During the 18 day crossing, Christina has only cleaned their cabin 4 times!! On asking Christina what can the company do, she said that as it is ship's law and anything on the ship comes under their jurisdiction, they can fine the culprits. Christina will report it again but to save her the trouble, I reported it a second time in person. Happy to ‘swear' in a court of law, if they pay the airfare!!!

The ships course so far has seen us slightly divert south on 2 occasions to skim around tropical storm Lorenzo. The captain advised there may be a few lumps and bumps on the way and we may experience a little rain but none was forthcoming. We had strong winds for ½ a day but the temperature still didn't dip below 65 degrees F. With the storm passed we now have calm seas ahead and it should be plain sailing. The temperature has picked up and should remain a steady 84 degrees all the way to Florida. Still 3 days at sea to go…

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Comments

[JPH]

Think I must be from Maryland, I know nowt about the Beatles. Must read this to David as an Atlantic crossing is the only way I will ever get him to America (he's not able to fly long distance).

[chris-roisin]

Great to hear from you JPH. The only way to travel across to the USA but once you get David there, you have to get him back again!! Did you know Maryland was named after the wife of King Chaz I?? All those days locked in a room with other
trivia geeks paid off!!!

[Marie and don]

Loving it