Led astray in En Zed

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We flew into Christchurch to spend a night and a day around town before jumping on our "hop on hop off" bus called the Stray. We booked a tour of NZ both north and south islands. We mapped out where we will spend the next 22 days before we leap across and ocean to South America. So take off point: Christchurch...a European feeling town with a good vibe. Street performers or "buskers" attract crowds in the town square. Basketballman put on a show that only a Harlem Globetrotter can out shine. A small group of dancers perform "The Hakka" a traditional Maury dance meant to intimidate the opposition. Men battle with there minds on an oversize chess board. We take a Sunday stroll through the botanic gardens with a orchestra filling in the soundtrack in the background. Not a bad way to sip a coffee and smell the flowers.
A half day bus ride to Kikoura to kick off the following day. We had every intention to swim with the dolphins but the trip was booked and only had one spot for a swimmer. With the trio that doesn't really work. We are a package deal...you take one, get two free! So we tried to book on for our second time around this town and once again it was book out. I guess you can't win them all but this was something none of us wanted to lose. Open ocean swimming with wild dolphins it pretty hard to come by. So instead we stayed out of the pouring rain and tucked into our hostel to watch a movie and enjoy...or struggle to enjoy the free vegetable soup. Day 2 in kikoura consisted of a long walk down the beautiful coast to check out a seal sanctuary. Not that cool actually. I mean, the seal were ok i guess...the walk was pretty ok...but the highlight was watching a heard of renegade sheep block traffic as i sucked down some shore side mussels. Come to think of it, the mussels were the highlight...garlic and lemon...tasty. And once again back to the pad to enjoy some grilled cheese and bad soup, while watching another movie.
Kikoura to Able Tasman was a longer drive...with an unexpected extreme adventure. I had planned on going stunt flying at some point in my life but i never planned on doing it in NZ. in fact, i didn't even plan on it the day it happened. It just popped up. "we have one spot left for stunt plane flights, and it looks like it is going to rain tomorrow so they might not be open tomorrow." Im in! the driver dropped me off and i had Krista at my side to capture the whole thing on video. The kicker is, i didn't know i was actually going to fly the plane. Believe it or not i was in full control. Or should i say, believe it or not somebody was dumb enough to let me take control of there aircraft! idiots! But really it was fairly safe...open cock pit, seat belts but no parachute, and a leather helmet that seems like its only purpose is to gain style points. just enough to get your blood pumping...sign me up! It was an absolute BLAST! one of the best things i have ever done in my life! right after take-off i was in control. A few opening turns just to get the feel for the bird, then...roll hard left, roll hard right, dive, dive, dive, pull up! loop one...loop two! pull up hard into a full stall...kick the rudder and watch the ground rush towards you at an uncomfortable rate of speed! This is what adrenaline junkies like me live for. Five G-forces pinning you to the seat as you bank in the sky. Picture perfect views of life from above as you skim the tops of the powder white clouds. Showing off over an airport just for sh*ts and giggles...not to serve a purpose but just because i can. Then the realization hits..."Holy mother of god...I am flying!...now im flying upside down!" incredible. unexplainable.
The following day was a relaxing day of kayaking the coast. We paddled half the day, took a break to have a picnic lunch in the sand of a picturesque beach, then started a half day hike back to camp. It was a beautiful hike and served as a bit of much needed physical fitness. That night we bonded with our two American roommates and formed Stray's best Team America. We were on the same path with these girls all the way to the north island so we made good buds and spent most of our days and nights together. We especially bonded at a dress up party. The girls took it upon themselves to fit us all in our gear for the night. Jeff was a baby, bottle, bib, no shirt, and pj's. he pulled it off. Me however, the girls were ruthless. They came up with the ever so clever Christina the ballerina. Yup, a mini skirt, leg warmers, leotard, and tube top. thanks. And i mean MINI skirt! i couldn't even sit down with out my business on display. Funny but not that cool. Plus how are you supposed to pick up with an outfit like that?! "Hey girls, can i buy you a drink? Here let me get my money out of my mankini." Doesn't work out so well.
From Able Tasman we headed to the icy goodness of Franz Joseph Glacier. A massive attraction for thrill seeker looking for a cold and wet adventure. It was a good time. Team America grew exponentially..ok we really only added two more but we were united. We now had 7 Americans together in one place...almost unheard of in the traveling world. We were lucky...they were all pretty kick ass. And other than one small spill on the glacier we we doing well. the small spill was one of the girls slipping and heading face first down the steep face into another ice wall. Krista's attempted rescue almost turned into a second catastrophe as she stubbed to keep her footing. I guess you would have to see it all in slow motion as i did to really understand how it all played out but it wasn't pretty. Cramp ons(spikes on you feet to grip the ice)..gripping into unsuspecting climber legs...guides diving to make hockey like saves for other climbers, and me...only able to yell "hey hey hey hey" as it all went down. Not "help somebody is going to die if we don't grab her so turn the effff around and help" but "hey". good Chris way to save lives. Fortunately, a bruised leg, arm and ego were the only injuries to Idean, the slider. She took the spill like a champ an made her way down the hill with the rest of us. The Glacier was spectacular as well. I have never had any desire to see one and i now know what i would have missed. However, our ten year plan to climb Everest is now a next lifetime plan. The cold and the pouring rain was enough to make me dream of hot tubs and coffee. I was ready to leave when it was time but i am really glad i had this experience. A new found respect for the mountaineers but I don't want your job.
The next stop was in the middle of nowhere...a cool place where Team America kicked off the night with some high quality karaoke. Krista is a diva and is ready to be the next American idol. She started the mess off with a few good love ballads before they secretly entered my name for a solo performance of "Macho Man". First a ballerina, now "Macho Man"?! These girls clearly have no respect for me. An older Canadian man who snored louder than a thunder storm in Haiti (is there a lot of thunder there? no clue just thought it sounded good) and sleep farts that burned the nostrils like mustard gas...this is all from personal experience. Dispite his crude sleep habits that kept me up until 5 am before a 7am alarm clock...he was a cool guy. Well, not cool but... whats the word??? Odd. he was a skilled balloon artist. He made everybody balloon animals and a few people some balloon body parts. I guess it was cool that he brought his talent to the table but it was odd to me that he carried a suitcase full of balloons everywhere he went. To each, there own.
After an odd night of graphic balloons, bad dancing, and even worse singing we made our way to the next destination...Queenstown. The self proclaimed "Adventure Capital of the World". i am not going to argue. It seemed like every second shop was Bungy this or Jump out of that, Raft here...or take a speed boat in inch deep water while going way too fast only nearly missing the cliff walls by a fraction of an inch. I think they might take the cake with the whole adventure thing. Stun planes buzz overhead while skydivers, hang glider, and paragliders all fall from the sky. None of which were the reason for Team America to stop in this adrenaline junkie paradise. We were here for one reason and one reason only...The Nevis. The 143 meter bungy jump from a gondola suspended over a canyon. New Zealands highest bungy. The world renowned AJ Hacketts own playground. Death Defying. Ok it has 100% safety rating so that calmed the nerves a bit, but none the less enough to make you question whether or not the human body is meant to be doing things like this. This had been on our minds for a few days now. haunting our sleeping hours and creeping into just about every daytime conversation. "Alright already just let me freakin jump and get it over with!" It was the anticipation that kills you. Put the harness on, watch a few people jump...listen to the screams. Then watch the screamers gloat with joy after it was all over and bounce from person to person trying to explain the once again, unexplainable...pure adrenaline. It takes what feels like a lifetime to get to the platform. After that is all goes at warp speed. Sit down in the chair. Here is your foot release. Pull it when you want to sit up so you don't have to hang upside down the whole way back up while we dangle you over the river, stand up, waddle to the edge, don't look down, who are you kidding...look down...take it in...it is a long way down...that sound is you heart beating...the cheers from your friend are louder than normal but are becoming muted the closer i get to the edge...concentration turns the volume down...i hear one voice and it is the man behind me..."ready?" "yup" "3,2,1....." Perfect silence...a giant leap out like a high diver...arms out to the sides as if i can fly...i am heading face first to the ground below. i can feel the blood in my face...it feels good. i can feel my stomach in a knot...it feels good. this is pushing yourself to a limit. I love it. A few seconds later i reach the end of the line. A gentle recoil and i am now rubber banded upwards. Overwhelmed with emotion...fists clinched and arms pumping like Tiger Woods on the 18th hole. This is the next to the stunt plane...unreal. i can see where i jumped from and it is far. A few bounces later i pull the foot release to sit upright...it takes a few tugs and finally gives. I jolt to the seated position should be easy but at this height is enough to make your heart skip a beat. Now sitting i have a view of the mountains and valley i just jumped into. Picture perfect. A smooth, silent ride back to the gondola which allows you to gather your thoughts for a second before rejoining society. Another quick jolt of the line snaps me out of the daydream like relaxation and puts me back into the reality of "holy shit i am dangling 400 feet above ground on a giant rubber band." Then as i reached the gondola with friends awaiting your return you hear the cheers "best jump of the day, mate!". fun times, unforgettable times. You would think that would be enough but no. I got talked into a canyon swing with Idean the slipper. We were seated upside down and backwards and suspended over a canyon before being dropped along the ridge and propelled over the creek below. This was almost as good as the bungy jump. A laugh on the way down keep me in control of the screams that wanted to jump out. I wasn't scared but when the guy operating the swing plays jokes by letting you go when you least expect it it throws you off just enough to still enjoy the fall but question if you should really being doing this. I love it.
After a good day of adventure we went out for a good night of drinking out of teapots. It is the only way to go when at The World Bar. Great fun. Long Island Iced Tea Pots and Jaiger night make for some good laughs over a Ferburger the next day. Ferburger is a renowned burger joint that serves up delicious but ridiculously over sized burgers. A must do when in Queentown. After that...a bus back to Kikora before we head off to the north. A night in. We enjoyed a mellow night of Drinking game American Idol. You have to drink every time somebody performs a certain action. i noticed how much randy says "Yo Dawg" and how much Paula stands and cheers. Drink up.

See ya on the North Island!

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Photos

Me and El Jefe...
...handsome as ever.