The Art of Hammocking in Fiji

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Now this is why we came to Fiji; the weather idyllic, the ocean waters crystal clear, the palm trees posing a natural shelter as you kick back and think of sweet nothings. For those that live on the island, Tiger Woods’ exploits or the latest outbreak of George Bush meltdown matters not. The islanders bask in paradise!! South Sea Island is a coral outgrowth no bigger than a football pitch. Its amenities totalled a puddle sized swimming pool, a rickety table tennis table and a row of inviting hammocks…

Now maybe I’m alone in experiencing hammocking difficulties, certainly many ‘hammockers’ appear incredibly content, nestled in their roped cocoon. But I write to you today to think long and hard the next time you wish to hammock down for some quiet time.

My initial hammock mounting attempt was pitiful. I gingerly sat on the side and tried whipping my feet up, round and on, but the hammock had other ideas and just swung away with a mocking disinterest. A few more tries like this and I realised I needed a more aggressive approach. I took a few steps back and leapt onto it. I was on for a brief moment in time before it spat me out the other side.

Don’t be fooled by The Hammock, it may well hang their looking all inviting and hammockable but in reality its nothing more than a petulant child; sulkingly hanging, rejecting any form of attention. I decided to give it ten minutes to think about what it had just done and to decide whether it was willing to play ball.

For my next attempt I crept up behind the hammock and by catching it off guard, as gracefully as an admiral butterfly, I glided through the air and sank into its ropey arms. I lay their smirking, satisfied I had won the battle. I took up the hammock position; hands behind my head and legs crossed and whistled a tropical tune.

However, something was missing. The book, oh the book, sitting staring at me on the floor below. There was no way I was going to get dumped back on the sand; I would wallow in my own glory, book free.

Of course there is every chance that your hammockability is far greater than mine, all I say is… take a good look over your shoulder the next time you consider some hammock-time. There may well be people watching!

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