Andrew starts work, again............

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Well I started my fifth, yes fifth, job on Monday working as an IT technician in a hospital, finally something that I can do!

Let me take you on a wander through my oh so brief Australian working history.

When we landed in Perth we sent our CV's out to loads of agencies hoping to get temporary work. We knew it would be far easier to get work in the hospitality trade but we wanted to try and get Mon-Fri, 9-5 first so we could still enjoy our weekends together.

So we sent out our CV's and I got a couple of calls to come in and meet with agencies who promised the world but who still havn't delivered. Then Fiona gets a job, we went to visit Lara at her work which happens to be an Oil & Gas recruitment company. We chatted to her friend Marina who is the boss and she mentioned that she knew of a company who were looking for a temporary personal assistant (reception and admin and stuff), anyway, Fiona gave her a copy of her CV to forward onto this company (having had no previous reception experience). A few days later Fiona got a call to say she had the job, what they didn't know that her typing speed is about 3 words per minute!!

Not wanting to become a kept man I stepped up the pace to find a job, I applied for loads of IT work and had a few interesting offers, however when I went to the interviews and the prospective employer found out that a condition of my visa is that I can only work for one employer for a period of no more than three months they were no longer interested.

I then decided to look for less paid, and great, temporary jobs, this is where the fun begins….

My first job was with a telemarketing company where I’d phone up some random punter and pretend to be from a radio station offering this ‘Entertainment Discount’ book for the great price of $99, $1000’s worth of discounts for less than a ton, sells itself doesn’t it?

Anyway I got the job and went through the ‘training’ then phoned my first punter while the manager listened in, I had a script (of sorts) to follow and it started OK. The dude that I was chatting to was sound, we shot the breeze a bit about Scotland and travel then I got down to the sales pitch. From memory I’m sure it went something like this, and remember that during this conversation I’ve got some disturbingly hyper manager bird next to me doing a wind-up motion with her arm while mouthing “close it, close it” at me, brutal.

ME: “So how about this book then mate, you use it half a dozen times it pays for itself?”

Punter: “Fair enough but $100 is a lot of money for a book of ‘buy one get on free’ vouchers isn’t it? What if I don’t use them, I don’t go out much, I’m married with 4 kids and money is tight”

ME: “It’s a great deal if you would use them sir, you could save loads of money dining out with you family”

Punter: “You seem to be a genuine sort of bloke mate, if you can tell me why this would be a great idea for me then I’ll think about it”

** The manager bird’s eyes light up with $$ $$ signs - chi-ching **

ME: -Pause - Sigh - To be honest mate I don’t see how this could benefit you as you would still need to buy 3 meals to get the other 2 free and if you don’t go out anyway then you’ll be spending loads more money than you normally would. In fact I don’t see how this book would be a good idea for anyone, I think someone is making a lot of money out of this con and It’s certainly not me, sorry to bother you, see you later.

The manager birds’ jaw just dropped, she didn’t have anything to say. I apologised and told her that this wasn’t the right career move for me at this time in my life, I wasn’t that desperate for work (yet), and left, never to return.

I then got a job waiting tables in the dearest restaurant in South Perth, I went in for my first shift and met the manager, he was a total dick, he was from Dundee, well Broughty Ferry, and hated Dundee, Scotland and everything about them, needless to say he wasn’t my favourite person in the place. The rest of the staff were cool and the bonus was that I was the only waiter, it was all young girls, cash-back!! I couldn’t stick it though, everyone was petrified of this boss and he was a total slave driver, the wages were real good for the hospitality trade and was like he wanted blood from each employee to show that they had earned there pieces of gold. I left after 63 minutes. They only offered me 14 hours a week, one night and one full day Saturday, not good enough so off I went.

I was then offered another job at the Royal Perth Golf Club, again my boss was Scottish, she was nice though and the job would have been good, behind the bar, Monday - Friday, but again it was only part time hours, I accepted it anyway and was going to try and work both here and at the restaurant but before I started my first shift I was offered Monday - Friday, full time hours at a coffee shop along the road. So on to job number four.

The café was a trendy wee place on the main street through South Perth, you know the kind, couches and art-work, brass fittings and students, groups of twenty-something ‘Friends’ discussing their daily journeys through life, anyway this was a great job, good people, a sound boss and best of all 6am - 2pm weekdays, plenty time for the pub. There were two things that bothered me however, the money was real bad and I can’t make coffee.

I had a previous interview and an Irish Sandwich Bar/Coffee house chain thing, we’ve got them at home too, everything was going well until she asked me if I could make coffee, while pointing at this huge NASA looking Barista machine, I told her that in my experience one spoonful of Nescafe was normally enough for most people but some people, Fiona, liked nearly two spoonfuls. Of course I was trying to make light of the situation but I didn’t get the job.

Anyway I though I would just wing it, how hard could it be to make a machiattchicho or what ever they’re called? I was due to start on Monday (16th) but had an interview for this IT job on the Wednesday before. I got offered the hospital job on the Thursday so started here on Monday instead. At least I’m doing something that I actually know and am earning decent money, nearly double what I would get at the café.

So I’m on to me 5th job and have worked a some total of 70 minutes. I’m sure that this will be my last job in Australia, I’m only looing for 7 weeks work so I’m not even going to apply for any more, I still get the odd letter from agencies or jobs that I applied for ages ago asking me in for interviews but I’m though with looking, this’ll do nicely until I get back home.

It was 6 months without work until now so I’ll work for two and have another six off, not to shabby. Fiona is still working away for Rolls Royce bringing in the bread.
Until the next time, and don’t be a stranger………………..

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Photos

Yachts in the Swan
with the floodlights of the WACA in the background

Ye Old Mill
Where we get our power from. They're a bit behind here but there's no rain for Hydro, ken?

Work Number 2
The posh harbourside joint

Fiona the mummy
When she got the cold I was taking every step to make sure I wasn't getting it.