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Published: December 11th 2006
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Probably the highest residential building in the world If there's one place/time combo to avoid in Australia, it's Surfers Paradise during Schoolies Week. Schoolies Week is the antipodean equivalent of the US's spring break, a chance for recently graduated high school students to let off steam and various bodily fluids in the company of their own in resorts along the Gold Coast. With Surfers Paradise, aka Surfers, being the spiritual heart of the Gold Coast, it's the premier destination for Queensland's schoolies.
Having already delayed my departure from Brisbane by 2 days in order to miss the first weekend of Schoolies Week, arriving in Surfers on the Monday was unavoidable as I couldn't stand any more time in Brisbane. Surfers had been described to me as a cross between Vegas and Blackpool but it lacked the cheesy charm of either. There were plenty of high-rise hotels and apartment blocks, and more than a smattering of neon signs at night, but entertainment options were thin on the ground. I can only assume that the beach provided everything that people needed.
Fortunately I got on well with the majority of my dormmates - we were united by a dislike of Surfers. The exception to this happy family was a
guy who, on the first morning I was there, let the door slam 4 times in succession when he was going in and out at 6AM, until a sarcastic request for him to slam it a little harder drew a mumbled apology. This was an hour after a group of guys from the neighbouring dorm had been chatting for 15 minutes outside our window while having a (very) early morning cigarette break. At such moments I'm glad I'm not travelling with a gun.
Both nights I was there, I ventured into town with a Swedish firefighter who had taken a leave of absence from work to be a safety officer on a casino boat operating out of Hong Kong. He was doing a quick tour of the east coast before returning to Malmo, and hadn't even heard of Schoolies Week, let alone thought about the temporary effect it would have on the Surfers demographic. The streets and bars were awash with teenagers in various states of inebriation, with a few sightings of comatose victims even at 9PM. Some of the kids looked barely old enough to go to school, let alone leave it. The bars we went in brought
back memories of school discos though we were both pleased to be IDed when entering one place, as our combined ages would be pensionable in most countries.
Our search for more mature company proved fruitless and it was disheartening to have to admit defeat in a place that's usually Party Central but at this time of year is under-20s only.
The final insult was being accused of being "toolies", a term applied to anyone whose schooldays are long gone but who still hangs around Schoolies Week locations, in particular to prey on young girls. I need hardly state just how diametrically opposite to my own motives that slur was.
Unfortunately this was to be a potential frying pan/fire scenario, as next stop on my agenda was Byron Bay - possibly No. 2 in the league of prime schoolie destinations. I left Surfers feeling a little sad that I'd been unable to judge it purely on its own merits.
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