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Published: September 24th 2015
Whitehaven Beach
Stereotypical shot of the Whistsunday's poster boy.No doubt about it, it’s been a privilege. I’ve never been tempted to count my time spent scouring the globe or the number of countries visited. A ballpark figure would be 7 years and 80 nations. That may read global but there’s one shameful admission. Intricate knowledge of our own plot of dirt is comparatively scant. An enquiry from somewhere else on the planet such as, “So, is the Great Barrier Reef as spectacular as all the reports” was invariably met with, “I’ll let you know when I get there some time”.
As a consequence, there has been an ever-increasing desire the last couple of years to address the imbalance. The current parlous state of the Oz dollar sealed the deal.
WRINKLES, GREY HAIR, BACKPACKS AND ACCENTS.
Ann hour or so lazy drive north of Cairns sits Port Douglas. A “put your feet up” kind of town, Port Douglas is like Noosa without the surf.
Port Douglas on its own would only just warrant calling in but her CV writhes with satellite diversions that will help keep the ADHD at arm’s length.
The Great Barrier Reef
Cape Tribulation
Keep your eye out for the resident croc. is the focus of global plaudits but far from the be all and end all. Try the brackish coastline of Cape Tribulation backed by the Daintree Rainforest, a jungle clamorous enough to make Tarzan feel right at home. Mossman Gorge is the most accessible part of the Daintree but try and arrive as early as possible to pre-empt a tourist peloton that really can extinguish the spiritual silence. Just down the road is the Atherton Tablelands chock full of tropical nature at its finest. And that’s just the tip of the palm tree.
Images of the region are the type that crams Queensland travel brochures to support the state’s clichéd promo: “Queensland, Beautiful One Day, Perfect the Next”. Don the cynical hat and an alternative motto might be: “Queensland, Expensive One Day, Bankruptcy the Next”. I suppose in reality, the price of tourism in Queensland simply reflects the cost of living in one mighty uneconomic country.
Those costs perhaps explain the two core demographics that haunt a town like Port Douglas:
(a) Grey Nomads. Baby Boomers and older. Folks in the Drop Zone out spending the kids’ inheritances. The restaurants
Karanda, Atherton Tablelands
Actually just out of Karanda are full to the brim every evening with patrons sporting receding hairlines, deeply etched wrinkles and conversations comparing medications.
(b) Foreign hospitality staff servicing us older gens. They slot into the under 30 age bracket and boast a hotpot of European accents. I asked one waitress why there were so few Australians working up here: “Because they won’t work for the crap money we get paid”. Nothing like a good old fashioned hit of exploitation.
What the hell, it’s impressive up here anyway despite the credit card stress and at least in the future I won’t have to sheepishly plead ignorance the next time someone overseas asks me about The Reef.
ROOS
You want to see a kangaroo? Easy peasy. Just take the 8 or so hour drive south of Cairns to Airlie Beach. Without exaggeration you will bare witness to hundreds if not thousands. Unfortunately they are all dead. The flanks of the highway are littered with endless carcasses of an animal not overly road savvy.
BUT, you want to see a live roo, right? Do the same drive between sunset and sunrise. Zillions of them. The
Who's a pretty boy?
Buggered if I know what kind of bird it is. risk is of course that you will probably get a closer encounter than you planned as they bounce off your car’s bumper bar. That’s gotta hurt. Nobody carts them away. They are just left by the side of the road and nature takes it from there. God bless our national animal.
ANCHORS AWAY
Airlie Beach isn’t unlike Port Douglas. No major reason to call on in unless you had something in mind like we did. Along with 6 pseudo old salty dog amigos, we had chartered a catamaran out of Airlie for 8 nights to cruise amongst the glorious Whitsundays Islands.
8 land lubbers on a cat, what could possibly go wrong? The whole scenario screamed hilarious in a “this could be disastrous” kind of way. In an attempt to avoid total chaos, duties were subsequently divvied out. Being short on seaworthy skills (none) I finished up with the shitter emptying role. Glamorous? Not on paper but let’s not talk down the role’s importance in the greater scheme of things. It’s also a premium way to reaffirm your decision to have put a big red line through plumbing as your career
of choice.
As for the actual boating experience – TOP SHELF. Forget coral, the decent stuff is miles further out on The Barrier Reef. The Whitsundays are all about satisfying Utopian demands. A vitamin sea hit by day before syphoning off a few wines on the bow as the sun melts behind some postcard backdrop. How’s that for a blueprint for a life affirming day?
You heard it here first: “Queensland, Beautiful One Day, ............”
More images at
www.colvinyeates.zenfolio.com
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taracloud
Tara Cloud
Queensland--Beautiful and Bank Breaking Everyday!
Been there, done that! Bravo to you two intrepid travelers for exploring your mythical northern reaches, so you can tell us clueless all about it, and we don't have to go broke doing so. Ho--dead kangaroos, a rain forest overrun by wild tourists (surely in large, loud groups), and an expensive cat sail where you get to empty the toilets. Thank goodness for utopian delights through the Whitsundays and plentiful, hedonistic sunset wine that can make up for much--ya done good! Thank goodness I don't need to be there and do that!