"Every person on the streets of New York is a type. The city is one big theater where everyone is on display."

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Another early start as we still have the Empire State Building, shopping on 5th Ave, a Broadway show and Times Square to tick off and only today to do so.

Ms Roling is starting to reassemble a character from The Walking Dead (TV programme). After numerous sticky hot sleepless nights, my constant time checks and impatient side way looks are starting wear thin with Ms Roling. But she manages to keep her composure and refrains from de sexing me.

We catch the subway - our new friend, uptown and whilst we are in this part of the hood we check out Grand Central Station. An impressive building that has beautiful chandelier after beautiful chandelier. I'm confident someone has a full time job just checking all bulbs are present and ready to glow for the masses. It opened in 1871 and it is the world’s largest train station by number of platforms – it has 44 platforms.

We continue on to the Empire State Building.

This isn't the smallest building on the block, but it's shy, it only becomes apparent we are on the right track at the last minute.

So it's more security with more nickenpoops setting off detectors. People lack foresight and basic organisation or maybe they are just stupid. But the constant hold ups at security because people don't listen or read, is starting to wear thin with me.

Sorry, I digress to get to the top of the Empire State Building, or more accurately the viewing deck you take two elevators. One takes you 80 stories and the 2nd the remaining 16 (in total it is 102 stories but that’s the top observatory deck). I notice all glass windows are frosted so as not ruin you first moment, there is to be no sneaky peaks.

We make it out onto the deck and even though we are approximately 350 meters up it is still warm (note the building including antenna is 443.2M). As is now the norm, the observatory deck is seething with tourists, it’s interesting eavesdropping and listening to the different languages spoken.

One thing I have learnt on this trip, is you can ask anyone to take a picture with an iPhone – Steve Jobs you really did make an impact. I would go as far as to say only two things that are more universally known, number one the sign for OK and number two giving someone the bird (finger) … but I’m sure there will be an app for this soon.

So we pose, say cheese and get snapped at the top of one of the seven modern wonders of the world.

We make our way around all four sides soaking up Manhattan and the wider New York, it is a magnificent view, and I’m undecided as to whether night or day would be ones best choice.

As time is not our friend today, we reluctantly press on, skipping the queue heading down by taking the stairs for the first six stories – lazy people we thank you!

I spot a souvenir shop, I want a genuine I heart NY t-shirt and what is more fitting than buying it from here … so we buy four t-shirts and a baseball – sorry King Kong you were just too big for what was now starting to become two very heavy suit cases!

So with our touristy grins and bags of stuff we leave.

We hail a cab who takes us to the Rockefeller building which will lead us to a last minute look-see in some shops along the ever famous 5^th Ave.

Strolling 5th Ave gives you this sense that you will run into an A list celebrity but alas we don’t see any…to be honest I probably wouldn’t recognize one!

5^th Ave is designer store after designer store. We decide to pop into Barneys and have a look around, agreeing to meet at spot x in 30 minutes. 60 minutes later I’m lost, it’s corridor after elevator after mirror, it was like being in the movie the Labyrinth!

I’m now 30 minutes late and to make things worse my phone has stopped working and being unable to reply to the “where are you?” and “I’m hungry hurry up txts” is adding to my frustrations.

I have become powerless in a parallel universe, with limited supplies, I start to wonder will I see my loved ones again…

We eventually cross paths, I’m now hungry and grumpy which is a terrible mix (a cross between a Latino women who has just caught her husband in bed with her sister and a Scotsman who has noticed someone drinking his finest single malt with coke).

It becomes apparent Ms Roling is maybe feeling the same way, we grab a cab and come close to our first argument, very little is said, little sleep and New York’s heat wave is starting to shorten the wicks.

We exit the cab and without saying much decide 30 minutes apart and some food might bring this situation back to PH7.

So after filling up our tummies we are back to normal.

It’s now heading onto 3pm and Broadway is calling, so we make ourselves respectable and head to the theater epicenter of the world. We are seeing a musical about religion… (Mormonism). It is a very clever satire and is held in a beautiful old theatre. It was called the Book of Mormon and it's won the Tony award for best musical this year.

Unfortunately we are both very tired and probably don’t enjoy the production as much as if we were wide eyed and bushy tailed. However the drinks prices startled me…$28 for one, singular, uno, tahi, Gin and Tonic. Luckily Ms Roling had elected for M and M’s!!

After the production we walk a couple of blocks to Times Square.

Anyone with a 60 inch plasma would feel very inadequate here, there is huge screens on nearly every available piece of real estate and it is quite a sight – it must be noted anyone who suffers from epilectic seizures should not visit Times Square, you would be a ticking time bomb!

We visit the famous M and M store, where you can buy everything from…well anything an M and M would fit into or onto, MS Roling buys some chocolate goodies, I suspect these will be used as bribery. But hey I have no morals when it comes to chocolate!

It is now about 7pm and my closing hours with my mistress NY are near, we subway back to our now very much feel like home W14th street.

I convince Ms Roling to follow me to a cute organic burger joint on 8^th Ave so we can compare notes and have a nice filling meal before our 2.15am alarm.

So my faithful audience that was my New York in less than a week.

We flirted, we argued, we made up and now I must leave. I’ll never forget you New York, I will revisit you, but I’ll never know how you felt as you keep your secrets so well.

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