Channeling My Inner Rock Star

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About a week ago today I arrived at London's notorious Heathrow Airport just days before the Royal wedding. Jet lagged and over an hour and a half late my plane finally disembarked unleashing me and my fellow travelers to rush the customs gate all at once. Mind you I was due to land in England by 10:00a in order to meet an 11:30a transfer to the port of South Hampton. All things being equal I should have had more than enough time to achieve this schedule. So far the plan was working; depart JFK sans makeup so that I would arrive London the next morning somewhat energized and freshly primped. I would exit the plane, LV luggage, dark Chanel glasses in tow and voila, I'm channeling my inner rock star. Well, the best laid plans...(you know how the rest of the adage goes). Actually, this is how it really played out. When my husband and I cleared the escalator that descended to the UK customs counters, there was a sea of humanity all wanting in and waiting in line (or queuing up as the Brits say). This line was the mother of all lines as it snaked around so many times that one couldn't see where it ended or where it began. As we took our place at the end of this line, panick began to set in. Visions of missing my transfer and missing the ship that the transfer was in charge of taking me to danced around in my head. All at once I began to ask myself "what would Kanye (West)" do? Clearly models, rockstars and other celebs don't wait in that line. Mind you I wasn't looking for preferential rock star treatment but the thought of repurchasing a transfer to the ship in British pound sterling with my weak US dollars made me want to faint. I quickly spyed a sign overhead to my right called the Fast Track line. Unbeknowst to me, the Fast Track line was created for time crunched travelers, like myself. The number one key to gaining access to the Fast Track line is that you must be invited by a TA agent. It's the equivalent of gaining access into a exclusive club if your name is on the list. Don't believe me? It's true because the sign says invitation required in fine print at the base of the sign. The second key to being invited to Fast Track as it were is that you must provide proof of having a valid time emergency. Not just reasons like my feet are tired or I can't stand lines. No, bonafied, printed proof of lateness. Never did I ever think that being late would work out for me. Well, with transfer receipt in hand I humbly asked the TA agent what time it was. Then, I went in for the kill explaining my time dilemna. After some brief discourse and checking out of my story, the TA agent motioned towards the red velvet ropes that penned us all into that God forsaken line then she set me and my husband free. I could feel the icy stares in the back of my head from the people we left behind on that insidious line. Chanel glasses back on, we swept through Fast Track customs, since we were the only ones there, then glided down the escalator to our transfer connection. The cutest young Brit with a to-die-for accent, tailored suit, Justin Bieber haircut and Brad Pitt face greeted us ever so warmly inquiring how we were able to transcent what he already knew was an absolutely hellish customs line. All I could think of was I channeled my inner Rock Star.

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Photos

London Heathrow
Nototious London Heathrow