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Published: October 9th 2009
Today was bound to be a good one when I woke up to the whiff of burnt giant pretzels. I love that smell ... It's so New York! And judging by the latest breaking news in the city, it's a blessing to be smelling something so good when the stench of rabid skunk is loose in Manhattan.
Who even knew the skunk population was normally kept under control in the Bronx thanks to the bobcat and coyote presence? (WTF is a bobcat?? I could've sworn it was some sort of heavy machinery). And who would've guessed that the skunks have pioneered a crossing via a railway bridge from the Bronx to Manhattan? Since the coyotes and the bobcats lack similar street smarts, the skunks are now spraying their putrid perfume all through our favorite city. Keep burning those pretzels guys, our only hope is to beat the stench-beasts at their own game!
If you've never had the pleasure of fresh skunk spray swirling up your nostrils, imagine the world's worst offensive rotting reek, times it by a hundred and add a touch of chemical fetor. Yuuurrk. It's not an indulgence you'd seek by any means, but an accidental spray
David Duchovny
aka Fox Mulderon your dog, or worse, yourself, marks the beginnings of social suicide. Rumor has it, the only way to extinguish the living, breathing odorous stink is to bathe in a tub of tomato juice ... for a whole day. You'll be discovering tomato seeds in places you can't imagine for weeks afterwards.
In other news, Dave and I strolled across Central Park to Mt. Sinai this morning where, as daily custom dictates, I kissed him goodbye at the hospital door and continued my morning walk back home. Whilst rounding the Great Lawn and dodging the usual pooch party, an extremely tall, tanned and exceptionally chiseled David Duchovny ambled past with his fit 'n blonde wife Tea Leoni. They both oozed star appeal, which is what made me look twice. Duchovny has never graced 'The List' (of celebrity men Dave's given me permission to 'date' should the opportunity arise), but after seeing him in the flesh, I'm gonna have to ditch a hunk in favour of Fox Mulder. He is SO striking in real life.
After 6 months of celebrity run-ins, I now automatically play it cool in the presence of Hollywood hunks (& hunkettes). Can't promise I'll retain
David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
Celebrity Sightings #23 & #24 the same composure, however, when faced with the raised tail-end of a dirty old skunk.
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