Clanging in Starkvegas

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I hadn’t planned on visiting Mississippi at all this year, much less paying a visit to the home of the Cowbell in college football. When this season started, I had already bought a ticket for the Alabama game for this weekend. It was cheap, and Alabama has been a perennial favorite to play for a national title. But when I was at West Virginia last week, Nick (the WVU fan we met sitting next to us at the game) scoffed when I told him the opponent: Southern Miss. My response at the time was to say something snarky about him paying for my ticket if he wants me to attend a quality game in Tuscaloosa. He had bragged about attending the Iron Bowl last year because his girlfriend is a student at Alabama. Still, his derogatory comment about the matchup I would be attending started me thinking about going somewhere else. When I posted on Facebook on Monday of this week that I would be at the game, asking for others who planned to be there to meet up or tailgate or whatever, I got zero response. So I decided to look elsewhere. I put my Alabama ticket up for sale on StubHub, and when it sold in less than 48 hours, I decided that it was *fate* to go somewhere else. I had been wanting to visit Mississippi State, but with my schedule already somewhat determined, I hadn’t pursued the option. It turns out that MSU is only about an hour further away from me than Alabama. So it wouldn’t be that much more of a trip. And I found a ticket for less than $30. I knew this would be a much better game than the Alabama beatdown of Southern Miss. And after West Virginia (my first non-cupcake game of the season), I decided that quality of the matchup might be more enjoyable than the dominance of one of the teams over an inferior opponent. I believe I made a great choice.

My hotel was in Birmingham for Friday and Saturday nights. It gave me a convenient midway point—about 3.5 hours from home, and 2.5 hours from Starkville, home of Mississippi State. The game was at 3 PM local time, so I wouldn’t have to get up super early, and I wouldn’t be back at the hotel super late. Also, this is the first time this season that I’ve stayed more than one night at the same hotel. Traffic from Atlanta to Birmingham was infuriating at times, and it was absolutely dreadful in Birmingham. I got there before rush hour on Friday, but the traffic gods had it in for me. I ended up spending most of the evening at the movie theater, watching Brittany Runs a Marathon and Official Secrets in a free double header (since it was an AMC theater and I’m on the AMC A-list). They also had a Whataburger right across from my hotel, so I knew I had made the right choice. If you’ve been following my blog, you know how much I love Culver’s for fast food. Whataburger leaves them in the dust, at least for me.

Gameday traffic in Starkville was nonexistent, at least before the game. I arrive in town about 10:30 AM. It was a beautiful drive from Birmingham to Starkville. Even the gameday traffic in Tuscaloosa (where I exited the interstate for US 82 to Starkville) was nonexistent.

When I got to the campus of MSU, I turned into the big gates and my first thought was that this school looks to prize athletics more than academics. This is the SEC, after all (no offense, Vanderbilt). But then I thought that maybe I had entered into only one of the many portals, and that further down the road there must be an entryway that’s grander and takes you to the academic buildings. Truly, though, the first thing you encounter in this entryway is the football stadium, which is big but not so big compared to other SEC stadiums. It holds 61,337 people. But we’ll come back to that.

I drove along the curved road to the right, and there were many tailgates already set up, and the road was lined on both sides with SUVs and mini trailers. All of the parking lots were “permit only,” so I kept moving. I swung around to the right, once it looked like I was getting away from the stadium parking. I found more “permit only” parking and several fraternity and sorority houses. And then I was back on the main road, off campus. I needed some gas, and after I found that, I noticed a lumber store offering parking for $20. The cheapest I had seen so far was $30, and this was about a mile from the stadium, so I took it.

I walked through Starkville, in what looked like mostly student housing and indie shops, and then I happened upon a restaurant that looked to be local: the Bulldog Burger Company. It was a sit-down establishment, with several mounted TVs playing college football programming. So I sat down at the bar and got some food before heading further on.

I really wanted to find a cowbell, since that’s the thing MSU is known for. I checked online, and I found out that they sold them at the campus bookstore next to the stadium. What luck! I also needed to find a better shirt, since I had a reddish shirt but not maroon, the official color of MSU. I acquired both of these things at the store. There were so many cowbells! Lots of them were generic and maroon, out in the open on shelves piled several tiers high. But then there were the boxed bells, which came in maroon or white, and each had a slogan of some kind: alumni, or a big M, or mom, or dad, or MSU, or whatever. I wanted a white one. And I found one that said, “Welcome to Fabulous Starkvegas!” That’s a thing around Starkville, to call the town Starkvegas. Sure. So I liberated a white cowbell and a maroon shirt from the store and immediately changed into my shirt.

The cowbell, however, has its own proper care. I found out quickly that one must wear a cowbell on one’s person. One cannot simply hold it in one’s hand for the entire day. It’s impractical. They don’t sell holsters, either. So one must improvise. Most guys carry their cowbell in their belt, handle down, basically along their spine and pointing to the nether-regions. I had no belt. So I tried putting the handle through the belt loop. It fit remarkably well. But it would only point the handle up, because the metal bell part was heavier. This was fine, in theory, but every step I took, the bell clanged. This would not do. And so I made a command decision. Having seen other belt-less dudes simply stuff the handle down the backside of their trousers or shorts, I opted to do the same. I was afraid it would simply keep going, since I wasn’t wearing a belt. But the shorts I wore were tight enough (why I wore no belt) to keep the bell from slipping down and making a clanging sound on the ground while simultaneously giving me a cheap thrill. Problem solved.

The tailgate was pretty massive, sprawling. It wasn’t like Ole Miss, the school up north with the “Grove,” a compact but huge tailgate area. They had lots of games for kids to play and several stations set up for watching other games. And then private tailgates were innumerable and lowkey. Or highkey and festive. I found a little building with a dairy store (cheese, milk, ice cream, etc.), and since I needed to cool off, it was perfect timing. They had several ice cream flavors in mini containers, perfect for a single serving. I was going to get chocolate, but I saw the label “Muscadine Swirl.” Okay, that’s unique. And one of the locals was talking it up, so I took the plunge. I was really good. It reminded me of cherry swirl, honestly. Just a little sourer. I also attended the player walk into the stadium, 2.25 hours before kickoff. This was my first experience of clanging those cowbells, and it was awesome. The coaches and players walked by, and all the fans clanged as loudly as they could. I’m surprised I don’t have hearing loss at this point.

And then it was time to go to the stadium. A model of efficiency. No long lines waiting for anything. Several gates with several entries each. And when we got in, some students were handing out FREE bottles of COLD water. Yes, hydration is important. There was apparently a big problem the previous week with people passing out from the heat. So MSU decided to problem-solve, and bless them. You could even refill the bottles at the various ‘hydration stations’ located throughout the stadium. I’ve seen this innovation in other stadiums recently, too. But FREE water is always nice. And it was necessary, because even before the game started, I had soaked through my shirt. It was ugly. I refilled my bottle at least twice. I even got my usual souvenir stadium cup full of cold Coke, which was gone before the game began. Our side of the stadium, the visitor’s side, was in the sun until after the fourth quarter started. I’m glad I had long sleeves, or I would’ve been burnt to a crisp on my arms.

The students arrived early and were loud. But it’s pretty easy to be loud in this stadium. Those cowbells, right? I told a couple sitting behind me before the game started that, even without everyone already at the game, it was louder than any stadium I had been in all season thanks to those cowbells. But wait; it got louder! Once everyone arrived (and it was pretty full), and they whipped out those bells, it was deafening. It’s no wonder that opponents practice with crowd noise and cowbells in their own stadiums before they come to Starkville. Despite having capacity for just over 60,000 people, the cowbells easily double that volume. It was so different when they were not ringing. We could hear one another, yes, but there are rules about when one can and cannot ring the bell. Once the center puts his hand on the ball, all ringing must stop. Once the ball is snapped, clang away. And so for the brief time where the bells are silent, people yell as best they can. The big screen even says to do that. But compared with the clanging, the yelling sounds so paltry. Of course, it goes without saying that cowbells are clung (clanged?) only when the opponent has the ball (to distract them) and when MSU does something good (to applaud). My hand was not up to the task for clanging for the whole game. I’m guessing it’s a skill that takes time to develop, to last the entire game.

Mississippi State are the Bulldogs, and there are bulldog statues around town. But you seldom (like twice today) hear anyone say, “Go Dawgs!” Yes, we’re in the South, so there’s a W in that word. Instead, the chant you’ll more likely hear is “Hail State!” This is yelled when the team gets a first down, every time. And you clang your bell with “Hail” and then again with “State.” Shirts have this slogan, and some cowbells do, too.

The score was MSU up 21-3 at halftime, which is much better than any predictions. They were playing Kentucky, and the folks in blue were readily apparent in the sea of maroon. My friend Riley is a student at MSU, with only three semesters remaining. But he grew up in Kentucky and has been a Wildcat his entire life. In fact, I sat with him at a couple of UGA-Kentucky games in Lexington in years past, him in blue, me in red. (Dawgs on top both times) So I was not surprised when he texted me just before the half to meet him near the visiting fans section. I knew his parents were there, and I even shook hands with his dad again. But I didn’t entirely expect to see Riley wearing blue. He said he had tried to pull for MSU last year, but he just couldn’t do it against Kentucky. One day a year, I guess. I commiserated with him about my experiences in this regard, when other schools I attend(ed) play UGA. But we chatted for most of halftime while he got some hotdogs and I got a water refill. He was impressed with my cowbell, too. But when the half was over, he went back to sit with the family in the blue section, and I went back to my seats closer to the MSU student section. It’s always good to catch up with kids-turned-adults that you’ve known. To see them succeeding and having a good life. Since this was my first solo trip of the season, meeting up with him was really the only thing I had specifically looked forward to on this trip. That and ringing my own cowbell, I guess.

The second half was a little more favorable to Kentucky, who scored ten points to the seven scored by MSU. The Kentucky fans were hopeful, and most of them stayed the entire time. Nevertheless, MSU prevailed, with a final score of 28-13. Probably a third of the maroon people left between halftime and the end of the game. But enough stayed through the whole affair to make the clanging of victory that much more deafening. It was a very fun place to attend a game, and if you’ve got a cowbell or just happen to like Christopher Walken, then you’ll have a good time.

The post-game traffic sucked. I think there’s only one road out of town (the one I came in on), and so it took at least thirty minutes to drive the mile from my parking space down to the university entrance by the stadium. But once you got on that road, it was smooth sailing. Also, the cellular service around the area sucked, at least for me. Riley said his service was actually better in Starkville than back in Kentucky. Who knows? Maybe I’m just used to amazing service in Georgia. But I had a Whataburger before stopping for the night at my hotel, and it was the perfect ending to the day.

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