Begin..ings

---

We all have to start somewhere. This is my somewhere. I have a long story... but today in this moment.. I prefer the short one.
The short version is.. that it's taken me way too many years to get here. I'm not sure the exact date.. that my life really began.. but it was very recent. In the last.. 60 hours. Something like that. It doesn't matter how old I am.. because most people think I'm a child trapped inside the body of a woman.

Well.. the trapped part is going to be leaving me soon. I'm so untrapped right now... that I'm almost floating... If you see a girl grabbing onto a tree... and looking very at peace... it just might be me. Just might be.

So.. when I have time... and I feel like it. I'm going to sit down... and spill my guts. For right now.. I just wanted to introduce myself.. to myself. Who is going to read this anyway? Hello self. Hello world.

I have 2 months... left. In the USA... Maryland. I'm really from California... that is another story.
Well.. 2 months... and then.. my life ends... but really begins. The truth is I'm going to die... slowly.. from now till I get on the plane... a slow... deliberate death. I'll make sure of it. I want to feel... all of it... every tear... every piercing pain... everything. nothing.

Then.. when I have no more tears to cry... and I go back in time.. and then forward... I won't cry anymore. Then.. I can finally admit to myself...I made a huge mistake.. and then really begin to live. With no more rules. No more expectations. No more fear.

Just me. I.. really.. hope.. I like myself...
what choice do I have?

Here's to Maryland... everywhere else.. and all the people.. I loved.. hated.. and hid from. You can't hurt me... anymore.

See you in... Holland.

---

Comments

[Darcy]

Elipses
You use way too many elipses, haha. Good luck with your adventures though :)

[RaineyBean]

....
i know.. I've been told. :) I just can't break the habit....