Tamarisk and Tarantulas: The Sunless Canyon in the Salty Valley of Nudists

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We woke up on a strange barren planet. We were in a valley covered in salt, which was inhabited by creatures much like ourselves, but whom oddly had no sense of their own nakedness. Overcome with confusion and slight disgust, we sought escape.

Marty, the 5-foot tall, 55 year-old BLM Wilderness Manager led myself, 5 SCA volunteers, and a certified chainsawman on a death defying trek into Cougar Canyon. After dropping into this sharp little incision in the Inyo Mountains, we found ourselves trapped in a thick and tangled Tamarisk jungle. This vicious vegetation was growing before our eyes, closing us in, sucking up copious quantities of water from deep beneath the ground and depositing salt from its needle-like leaves. Besides ourselves, the Tamarisk was also threatening the little bit of remaining native riparian vegetation in the canyon. Thankfully, Marty was quick to act.

We had just been discussing amongst ourselves, whether or not she had been plotting to kill us by taking us up and over a crumbling cliff into this desperate infestation, but our suspicions were shattered when she appeared before us donning an astronaut suit. She pulled out spray guns full of strange chemicals and begged us to join in on her attack against the alien life forms. We complied.

We fought for five straight days. The only direct light making its way into our sliver of space in the rock was that of this planet's moon. We were forced to tip-toe through a ground cover of giant tarantulas and baby rattle snakes. Brandishing our rudimentary earth-weapons, we cleared out as much bulk of the Tamarisk as we could before Marty forced our weakened enemies to drink her chemical concoctions.

Though some Tamarisk still remained, it suffered a significant blow. We escaped tired and weary, but without serious harm. Trusting once again our fearless leader, we followed her back into the valley of salt. We trusted her to make friends with the naked human-like animals and she succeeded. They saw our beaten down condition and led us to their pools of hot healing water and let us soak beneath the stars.

For the gratitude of the naked natives' good deeds we vowed, if ever we found our way home, to return and once again wage war against their planet's alien life forms.

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Comments

[SubCommander Sasquatch]

Nice bit o' clearcutting
Inquiring minds want to know: Any cougars in Cougar Canyon?