It was a quick desicion, but this how it happened

---

I just graduated. In Arcata, Ca that means I graduated from Humboldt State University with a degree in Studio Arts. I want to go off the a graduate school, get my MFA, make some art, teach some art, and do something in the art world. Before this all happens, I'm taking some time off, a year to be exact before I even apply to go to grad school. I want some new life experiences, so I thought, I've drive to Chicago, with my dog abbey. By myself, on the road, the wind in my hair. Then gas went up to $4.25 and now all of a sudden my dad and I are taking the whole trip together. We had it all planned, go see the Tetons, visit one of his friends from nam, and I'll see Chicago, where I'm considering to go for grad school. And then last night, after a going away party where I had one too many beers, I freaked. I no longer could handle the idea of having my life controlled, I wanted freedom and I was ready to move, leave my boyfriend and my dog behind. After drinking some water, crying, and upsetting my boyfriend to the extent that I have to take him out to dinner tonight to make up for it, I realized I need a trip on my own, and not just any trip. I need to get away from everything I am comfortable with. I need new culture, new surroundings, a challenge for life, a challenge to get my life going. Now it could be disastrious, but I'm going to europe, specifically, Spain, France, Portugal, and Belgium. It all started, but just thinking of something that I could do on my own, something nobody could tell me no to. Europe, I can travel to multiple countries, stay in hostels and meet people, see amazing art both inside and outside buildings, and get to do it on my own. This is a lifelong dream of mine, my dad traveled back in the 70's in europe for 6 months, riding trains, getting swedish girlfriends, driving a bus around. He has this way of talking about his travels, with this laid back intellectualism, I want that. And plus, my parents traveled all over Europe, South East Asian, and Indian for there honeymoon, and there are so many pictures of my mother having the most amazing time. My mom died last year, and I inherited her life savings, she is gone, but traveling has always been something that I wanted to do in her honor. I want to do something that was close to her heart, she had compassion and interest in other cultures that is beyond most people, she loved her travels with my dad, and my stepdad. She always knew I wanted to travel like her, but I never got to show her that her compassion is mine as well. This trip is hopefully the start to a life of travel, a way to connect to my mother and her life travels, and a way for me to sort out my pain and confusion in life currently. I can only get closer to perspective right?

---