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Published: April 2nd 2007
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Talladega, Alabama
Euge at Talladega Superspeedway. The drive west across Georgia is uneventful—the corridor of trees can be monotonous, but I slept a good part of the way as Cathy drove. Satellite radio has been our salvation except when 88.1 is a local Christian station that messes with the reception. We’ve also been listening to Harry Potter on CD. Thank you Kris and Tom for letting me borrow your entire collection of books one through six (all 87 CDs). Both C and I have read all the books but the CDs were recorded by this amazing British actor who does all the voices.
As soon as we hit Alabama the topography and landscape become more interesting—it’s hillier and greener. Nice surprise. I look at the road atlas and notice there’s a Talladega National Forest, a town called Talladega, and then, OMG—Talladega Superspeedway!!! Of course, we pull off to check it out. The road leading to the speedway is really really wide. No races were going on so we do the next best thing and pose the MINI in front of the gigantic Talladega Superspeedway sign. The font style and colors of the sign are so perfectly tacky and appropriate. Looks like it was designed by
Talladega, Alabama
The closest we could get to the Talladega Superspeedway. a 14 year old boy or something. And you gotta say “SUPERSPEEDWAY” in that announcer voice with the echo. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get close to the actual speedway and the International Motor Sports Hall of Fame was closed for the day. Damn—wanted to get tacky souvenirs. Sorry MINI B, no NASCAR postcard for you.
We get to Birmingham and need to find food before everything closes. I find a BBQ restaurant called Jim ‘n Nick’s in the historic Five Points South neighborhood—cool neighborhood with interesting restaurants and shops. The restaurant turns out to have quite a few locations throughout the South but it started out as a hole in the wall. We enjoy yummy baby back ribs. We are in Birmingham to see my cousin Irene whom I haven’t seen since 2001. We arrange to meet at an Italian restaurant (a nice break from the usual road food fare for the last couple weeks). While checking out of the hotel, she calls me to say she’s running late because the freeways are closed. Turns out Vice Prez Dick Cheney was in town and Secret Service shut down the freeways and major roads temporarily. She wasn’t happy. She had just
Talladega, Alabama
Cathy at Talladega Superspeedway. returned from a trip to Hong Kong and China so didn’t realize he was in town. I told her that was another reason to not like Cheney. All I could think of was, “Yes! Good material for the blog.” It was great to see her and we have a wonderful lunch together. I jokingly call her my country cousin. The irony is that she is so far from that. She can also eat massive quantities of food and stay slim and fit. She says she is like a trash compactor.
After lunch, Cathy and I head up to Vulcan Park for a spectacular panoramic view of Birmingham. The park is home to the world’s largest cast iron statue—Vulcan, the Roman god of fire and forge. It was originally built in 1904 to represent the city in the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair and has stood as a symbol of Birmingham for over 100 years. There’s an excellent museum in the Vulcan Center that tells the story of Birmingham’s industrial iron and steel roots. We take the elevator up to the base of Vulcan for the amazing views. Birmingham is a cool city and I had no idea.
Yet
Birmingham, Alabama
Vulcan, Roman god of fire and forge. World's largest cast iron statue originally built for the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair. Also world's largest butt crack. again, we have a late start towards our next destination that evening—St. Louis. We need to drive from Alabama through Tennessee, the southwestern portion of Kentucky, and southern Illinois before reaching Missouri. Somewhere near the Tennessee-Kentucky border I look back in the rear view mirror as I pass a semi-truck and notice a lighted cross on the front of the truck. I told Cathy to look back and we start cracking up. She whips out her digital camera, releases her seat belt and turns around to take a photo of the truck. We stop off for gas in Paducah, Kentucky (spending money there counts so I can check off the state). As I was putting gas in the car at around 10 pm at night, I see this man stagger across the street to the gas station’s mini-mart. I watch him just to make sure he’s not some crazy man or dangerous. C was inside. I then go inside to use the women’s restroom. I notice a fold-down diaper changing table and one of those plastic bio-hazard containers attached to the wall. How convenient, a mother can change her baby’s diaper and shoot up in there and dispose of her
Birmingham, Alabama
Vulcan, Roman god of fire and forge. needle properly. C says she got a look at the guy’s face and it looked like he was beat up. So that is my memory of Kentucky.
We continue driving. C takes over because I’ve been driving for about six hours already. We’re now in southern Illinois. From a previous trip to Chicago a couple years ago, we know that the rest of Illinois is pretty much an armpit in terms of the landscape. Good thing it has such a great city to claim. So it’s ok to drive through at night cuz there’s nothing to see anyway. The roads are really crappy too. To make the trip through Illinois even more memorable, Cathy gets pulled over by State Patrol. Damn! She is in denial that she got caught speeding. I looked in the passenger side view mirror and saw the flashing lights right behind us and she’s asking innocently, “Does he mean us?” I’m like, dudette, pull over. This young State Patrol officer comes up to her and asks if she knows how fast she was going. He says the speed limit is 65 and she was going 80. She said she didn’t realize she was going that
Birmingham, Alabama
View of Birmingham skyline from Vulcan Park. fast and we were driving from Birmingham to St. Louis. It was 11 pm. He takes both our driver licenses to verify we’re not America’s Most Wanted. He takes forever. There’s nothing for us to do except bitch and laugh about the situation. If Illinois had normal speed limits like 70 or 75…ok, 80 is still speeding but less so. We decide it’s not a good idea to be snarky in this situation. He comes back and gives C a ticket and tells her to slow down. The ticket is only for $75 (I thought she’d get nailed for at least $150). I ask if this goes on my record and he said no. Whew. I’ve been driving since I was 16 and have never gotten a moving violation. We get back on the highway and a few miles later, we see another State Patrol car ahead of us pull over a Lexus going about 67. Illinois is an armpit and a speedtrap. We can’t wait to cross the Mississippi River and get out of Illinois. We finally see the iconic Gateway Arch of St. Louis—what a beautiful sight. We roll into the hotel around 1:30 am.
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MINI-Me
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No Fair
Talladega Speedway! No Fair. Snake and Bake, baby. I wonder if it is the first bronze butt crack on the Travelblog - certainly not the internet.